This is the True form of Despair
by 143Reno
Summary: Ariswana thought her journey ended when she was murdered in soul society, but she couldn't have been more wrong. Aizen only murdered her in cold blood to hold her prisoner in his kingdom of Hueco Mundo. UlquiorraxOC
1. Chapter 1

_The sky was looking a nice shade of black and there was a grey swirling wind through the land. It was cold, too cold for normal life to exist; only the things that are dead could survive there. Looking over the place, there were only things made from bones and blood thirst that roamed. At the very edge, there was a small crater where a girl lay. She was new to this place of death and had no idea what was coming to her. This was her story, and she was in control of her new fate._

Where was I? I couldn't remember anything. Was I dead? Oh well, I'm sure it didn't matter anyway. I looked down at what I was wearing. It was a Shinigami uniform with a torn captain's robe over it.

"Captain's robe, eh? Squad three? I was a captain?" then it came rushing back to me like a nightmare. I had friends in Soul Society, and then I fell in love with Hisagi Shuuhei…he seemed like a distant dream now. Just as things were okay, Gin had to come back and kill me, that bastard. There was nothing I could do now, I was here, in Hueco Mundo- and I probably wasn't even the same person I once was.

I saw a small puddle of water a little ways from me, so I climbed out of the hole and over to it. Apparently my legs didn't want to work today.

I almost gasped out loud when I looked in the puddle. I looked the exact same, even though I was expecting something different. But what really grabbed my attention was the huge hole in the base of my neck and the two pieces of bone on the sides of my hair. It reminded me of Orihime's hair pins…oh Orihime, I would miss her. My long blonde hair trailed over my shoulders as it always did. My eyes did look a little bluer than usual though- that was good. I had to admit, after dying a second time- I looked pretty good.

Right then and there I decided that I was going to change who I was forever. Seeing as this was the new life I had to live, I would no longer be Ariswana Thompson- the Soul Reaper. No. I was now going to be Skyler Lester, the Arrancar.

I saw Las Noches peering down at me from a distance, and I knew that was my destination. I really didn't want to serve under Aizen, but I could never return to Soul Society looking like this. Did I get paler too?

I punched both of my legs to try to get the feeling back, and surprisingly it worked. I stood up and sheathed my sword. I felt I should test if it was still loyal to my call.

"Cry to the wind, Tsuyoi Ishi!" I yelled as I drew it. She released into my double sword, meaning she was still with me even after my change. That was good. I sheathed her once more and prepared to cross the vast desert ahead of me.

I threw my arms back and let the wind pull me along to the towering castle. I had to stop a few times when I got attacked by strange Arrancar type things, but they were meager and not very tough. I ripped through them like paper. I felt myself becoming more blood thirsty and less humane as I spent more time here. I wasn't sure how I felt about it. I also noticed that I stopped caring about right and wrong a little also. Actually, I think I just stopped caring all together. I had finally accepted the twisted fate I was stuck with and there was nothing I could do about it.

I reached Las Noches after about a day of straight travel. Sleep was unnecessary. I walked right up to the two huge black doors. There were guards there wearing large masks made mostly of decaying bone. They put their staffs in an 'X' shape to block my way and I just simply looked at them through half closed eyes.

"State your business." They said with raspy voices.

"My name is Skyler Lester, formally known as Ariswana Thompson. Aizen's been waiting for me, so let me pass." I went to walk through, but they still wouldn't let me pass. I drew my sword in response and the three of us got into fighting stance. As I was about to lurch forward, the double doors opened to reveal an awkward looking figure.

"She's correct. Aizen-sama has been waiting for her, I will escort the woman. Lower your guard." Said the strange man. They did as they were told and I walked in between them, through the double doors.

"Um, thanks for that. What's your name?" I asked him with an eyebrow raised. He didn't strike me as the social type, that's for sure.

"Don't thank me, it was my duty. My name's Ulquiorra Schiffer, Espada number 4." He said in a monotone voice.

"May I ask what an Espada is?" he looked at me quickly out of the corner of his eye and then looked back in front.

"It's a higher form of Arrancar. The lower your number is, the stronger you are. There were 10 of us, but there's only 9 left- thanks to you." he said.

"Excuse me? What do you mean thanks to me?" he closed his eyes and slightly smiled.

"Think back to that one mission you had where you had to destroy a 'very powerful hollow' in Kurakura town. His name was Yammy." My eyes widened at the mention of that name.

"That was such a long time ago. That was before Aizen ever revealed himself." He flinched when I said Aizen.

"Now that you're here, I suggest calling him Aizen-sama, you might get punished if you don't." my eyes narrowed at that statement.

"I could care less if I get punished. I don't serve under anyone but myself, I'm only here because there's nowhere left for someone like me." I put my hand to the hole in my neck. When Ulquiorra saw where it was located his eyes widened and he immediately averted his eyes. I just shrugged it off, and we walked in silence until we reached another pair of double doors.

"This is where Aizen-sama resides. I have somewhere else to be, will you be alright on your own in there?" he asked.

"Yes, I'll be fine, it's only three steps. Thanks for the concern though…" I leaned against the wall and he looked at his feet, and then hurried away. I opened the doors to see Aizen, Gin, and Tousen sitting in high seats across the room.

"Ah, Ariswana- what a pleasure, glad you could finally join us."


	2. Chapter 2

I glared up at him and before he could continue I put a hand up to stop him.

"I'm not longer Ariswana Thompson. Since I'm a new person, I've decided to change my name to Skyler Lester." I said with sadness in my eyes. I was no longer the person I once new myself to be. I could never go back to living that life…I didn't want to think about it.

Hearing this, Aizen's eyes narrowed and his smile grew much larger.

"Well then, I see that you've accepted your fate. You're taking this rather lightly for someone who's just joined our side. Usually someone like you would run around killing everything in sight." He said slightly laughing to himself.

"I've stopped caring, Aizen. I'm not happy about serving under you- but I have no other choice now, do I?" I said with anger hanging off of every word.

Before Aizen could say anything Gin stood from the chair he was seated on and began to approach me. I closed my eyes and drew my sword. When I opened them, he was right in front of me, his grin demolished.

"Welcome, now I know you probably want to kill me and everything, but…" he couldn't even finish the sentence; I lunged at him and punched him in the face. I decided not to use my sword though; I would probably be in deep trouble for killing him. After beating the living crap out of him until he was bleeding from the nose and the mouth, I stood up and kicked his side.

"You're lucky I didn't kill you. I value my life too much to die because of someone like you." I said as he just lay there. I looked back at Aizen and he didn't look pleased.

"Maybe you should learn to control your anger, Skyler. We'll talk more when you've cooled down." He said.

Two guards similar to ones from earlier came up behind me and grabbed both my arms. I didn't even bother fighting back because I knew I would lose when Aizen was around. I just let them drag me from the room and cast me out the door.

I landed on the ground with a groan. I got on all fours and coughed a few times. Haven't they ever heard of being gentle with a lady?

I stood up and looked around. Where was I now? I had no idea where I was going. He was treating me like a child. I had to 'think about what I'd done' before I could talk to him again. I only knew one person here, and he was no where to be seen. Looks like I would have to go confront someone else. I hated talking.

After roaming the halls for an elongated period of time, I finally stumbled upon two guys- one with blue hair and the other with long black hair, almost as long as mine. They both spotted me, and they both glared. The one with the blue hair stalked toward me and raised a fist to punch me. I quickly retaliated and grabbed his arm to throw him over my shoulder.

"Damn bitch, they weren't kidding when they said you were tough." He said when he stood up rubbing his back. He glanced over to me and put his hand out with his lip pouting. "Grimmjow." He said. I grabbed his hand and shook it.

"Skyler." We both nodded at each other and I turned my attention to the other guy. He walked over and slung his huge weapon over his back.

"Nnoitra Jiruga." I shook his hand also. We all just stood there staring at each other in an awkward silence. Apparently I lost all social skills when I came here, also.

"Where are you supposed to be going, anyway?" Nnoitra asked with his eyes narrowed.

"I don't even know- Aizen threw me out of his presence when I attacked Ichimaru. We have a bit of a history, and I nearly killed the bastard." I said with a smirk. Grimmjow just laughed like crazy and Nnoitra sweat dropped.

"I didn't think anyone could pull that off and get away with it. You're like a gold key or somethin'." He said astonished.

"Don't go that far, I just got off easy because I'm the ultimate weapon and it's my first day here." they both just shrugged and flicked a finger telling me to follow them.

We walked through the halls talking about anything we could think of. How Gin left me, how he'd killed me and how Aizen knew I'd be arriving here. They were especially interested in the drastic change of my personality.

"Yeah, I was never this cold and heartless before I came here. I woke up in a crater and I just felt empty. It took some time before I remembered my life in Soul Society. You probably wouldn't have like me much if you met me back then. I was always chipper and way too moody. Now, I just don't give a shit and I don't know how to get any feeling back." I said with my eyes closed. Grimmjow had to grab my elbow so I wouldn't walk into the wall because my eyes were shut so tight.

We stopped in front of a room that had a purple symbol on the front. Nnoitra knocked once and it opened to reveal a woman with blonde hair and a massive chest. She glared down at Grimmjow and raised an eyebrow at me.

"Afternoon, Halibell. This here is the new recruit, Skyler Lester- the one Aizen's been raving about." Nnoitra pointed to me and she eyed me up and down. Without warning, she grabbed my wrist and shoved me in her room, locking the other two out. I landed on her bed and she pulled a chair over in front of me.

"Well hey there, Skyler. As you probably figured, I'm Halibell- one of the only female Espada here. It sucks majorly, and I'm grateful for your presence." She said with a smile. I could only tell by her eyes though, because I couldn't see her mouth. She saw me eyeing her collar with curiosity so she unzipped it enough for me to see that she had a mouth made of bone. My eyes widened and I looked into hers.

"So, that's the location of your mask then?" I asked her and she nodded once.

"You're lucky, yours is barely noticeable. In fact, you don't even have a full mask. That shows how similar you are to Aizen's power level." I gave her a quizzical look.

"You mean to tell me I'm closer to a human than an Espada?"

"Yeah, why do you think you're lacking in mask? The only thing that truly marks you as an Espada is the hole in your neck." My hand shot to my neck. I never dared poke into it because that would just be disgusting.

Halibell and I talked for a long time, until she received yet another knock at her door. She opened it and it revealed Ulquiorra. I shot off of her bed and walked quickly to the rim, so he would see me also.

"I need the woman, Aizen calls for her." He said as he extended his finger to me. I thanked Halibell for making me feel a little more comfortable and she said she would be seeing me soon. I walked out of the room and the door closed behind me.

As soon as we started walking, felt some odd type of pressure working its way on me. I recognized this pressure; it was my sword trying to contact me.

"Oh crap." I said before I hit the floor.

I sat up and was met with a tree and a river, except instead of it being sunny as it always was, it was pitch black. The only lighting was the brightness of the stars and the crescent moon in the sky. Even this place had changed. I stood up and brushed myself off.

"Sorry I had to be so abrupt, Skyler, but who knows when Aizen will let you go? I swear he holds meetings for hours- I've been spying around while you were with Halibell. I know you sensed my presence leave for a bit, did it make you nervous?" Tsuyoi Ishi said. I nodded once in response.

"Well, I just figured I'd let you know that there is hope in re-gaining _some _of your lost soul. **You'll be able to love again**, because after researching a little bit- I found some key information out. Sometimes, the Arrancar's soul mate can be found by just simply looking for the hole's location. I'm telling you right now that yours is going to change- I can feel it; however since it's at the base of your neck now, your 'Soul mate's' will also be at the base of his neck. Look for him and you'll find some answers." She said while pacing around. She picked up her harp and started playing a melancholy tune that sounded like Steve Conte's 'The Garden of Everything'.

"Thanks for the information; **I'll try my best to find him**. Maybe I'll get a search party going or somethin'." I said while stretching out.

She winked at me and I felt myself returning to the real world. When I opened my eyes, all I saw was Ulquiorra inches away from my face. He slowly moved back and I slowly sat up.

"Are you alright?" he asked me with an eyebrow raised.

"Ha, yeah sorry about that. It happens when my sword wants to communicate with me." I said while brushing up my torn captain's robe. If I was going to stay here, I really needed a wardrobe change. We continued walking forward.

"Did she say anything interesting?" he asked.

"Actually, yes. It was useless information but I think I'll look into it. She says that Arrancar sometimes have 'Soul mates' or someone their destined to be with. She said that if they have a hole in the same location- it's the prime sign." I put my hand to my neck and my spirits dropped a little. "She said my hole location was going to move soon, but my soul mate would have it right here." I pointed to my neck. He made a weird throat noise and picked up the pace a little.

"You know, I've never seen yours. You do have one…right?" I asked. He just nodded and fiddled with the zipper of his collar.

"We're here; I'll be following you in this time- this is for everyone's eyes." Perfect. I started walking in but he said my name quietly under his breath. "Good luck with finding him." He said before we walked through the double doors.


	3. Chapter 3

We approached Aizen, who was still sitting in the same spot we left him in. The only difference was that there was a huge rectangular table in which tons of people occupied- including Halibell, Grimmjow, and Nnoitra. When Ulquiorra said that everyone would be there, he meant everyone. I walked up to Aizen, with my eyes wandering the room. Ulquiorra went to sit down in the empty seat next to a girl with hair the color of Grimmjow's and Nnoitra.

"Feeling better Skyler?" Aizen asked me, and I just scoffed in response.

"If by better you mean more infuriated, then yes. I'm feeling much, much better. Thanks for asking." He didn't look pleased with my answer. I didn't care.

"Have any luck making friends?" he asked. Surprisingly, it actually sounded like he cared.

"Well, yeah actually. Halibell, Nnoitra, Grimmjow, and even Ulquiorra have showed me a little bit of a soft side you people can have." He looked pleased.

"I have some interesting news for you." He looked over to Grimmjow when he said that. "Come here, Grimmjow this applies to you, also." Grimmjow stalked over and crossed his arms with attitude.

"What could anything with her have to do with me?" Aizen rose from his chair and began to approach us. He flicked his finger to the table and another man with pink hair and glasses rose from his chair as well and followed. He approached me and smiled warmly.

"The name's Sayzel Aporro. I'm here to show you something." He took out a vile that was filled with a strange purple liquid. Aizen nodded at him once and he went to put the needle right into my forehead, but I jerked backward and got into the fighting stance. The guards at the door immediately ran over and restrained me. Why was I feeling so weak?

"No, no, no, no! Let me go! Don't touch me! Get away from me!" I screamed out getting frantic. My eyes widened and my pupils shrank from the high lighting. I kicked around and I hit someone right in the crotch, but I felt as if I would faint- so I couldn't see. My eyes met Sayzel's and he looked sorry.

"You need to relax, Skyler! This is going to help you, I'm not going to hurt you!" he shoved the needle into my head and immediately relaxed and my pupils dilated to a huge size.

Grimmjow's teeth grated together and he restrained himself from lurching forward. I was the only person who could throw him over my shoulder without breaking a sweat, he owed me now. Aizen shadowed over my body and looked into my eyes and my head started to twitch a little bit.

"Grimmjow, watch the screen. These are memories of hers from when she was alive. You happened to be alive at the same time." He said. Everyone's heads turned to the screen and there were a few gasps.

A man was walking down the street, wearing dark blue jeans, black shoes, and a dark red sweater. He had light blue hair and a book in his hand. It was Grimmjow when he was still alive! Too bad I couldn't see any of this happening, the memories they were seeing were mine.

Grimmjow approached a little house and knocked lightly. Theresa answered the door and welcomed him in openly.

"Hey there, Theresa-san. Where's Ariswana at? She was supposed to meet me at Aj's for lunch or somethin'." She just shrugged in response.

I came running down the stairs and when I saw Grimmjow, I practically tripped.

"Grimmjow! What's up, cousin?" I asked as we embraced.

"You were supposed to meet me at Aj's an hour ago…why didn't you show up? You know I'm only in town for a little while." He said with sadness in his eyes.

"Aw, I'm sorry, Grim. I had to stay and help Theresa-san out with the cleaning and such. We were going to have a party later to celebrate Orihime getting her braces off. I guess I just forgot." I said sheepishly. He just put a hand to his head and closed his eyes.

"Whatever, you're forgiven. Am I invited to this shin-dig? Who's this Orihime chick anyway?" he asked.

"She's a friend, and she would probably be scared of you. No offense, of course." I said with a sweat drop when he looked at me angrily.

"Well, I should get going. I'll just catch an afternoon train instead of the morning one. See you later, dearest cousins of mine." He said with a salute. Theresa and I hugged him really quick and he was off.

The screen went black and everyone was stunned. Grimmjow was my cousin when we were living! I was still writhing on the floor and had no idea what anyone else had just seen. Grimmjow looked at the ground with fire in his eyes and he bared his teeth. His eyes darted to me on the ground and he pounced down next to me. He looked up at Aizen with anger.

"You mean to tell me, that **this chick is my cousin?** She has been this whole time, and I never knew it?" Aizen just closed his eyes and nodded.

"I figured you had the right to know now that she was here. She has no idea; these are what we like to call 'colorfully repressed memories'. They're the most difficult to find. They've almost never been mentioned before and Sayzel came up with the drug to administer them." He said coolly.

Grimmjow's eyes landed on me again and I had stopped moving completely. My eyes were still open but the pupils had gone back to normal. The only reason they could tell I was still alive was because there was a strange gargling noise coming from my throat.

Aizen snapped his fingers and Ulquiorra appeared beside him along with Halibell.

"Ulquiorra, I want you to take her to your room for now to make sure she's alive. She'll be under your care until she recovers. Can you handle it?" he nodded once. "Halibell, take these clothes and change her before you leave her with Ulquiorra. She needs to look like one of us before she can truly become one of us." She nodded once also and took the clothes that were hanging on his forearm.

I felt funny and my mouth tasted like rubbing alcohol. Where was I THIS TIME? I was so tired of waking up in weird places. I sat up and realized I was on an extremely soft bed and the room was kind of cold. It was huge, and it was colored dark green.

I looked down at myself and saw my outfit was more appropriate for where I was. I was wearing black leggings with high white boots that reached above my knees. A short white dress with sleeves that ended at my elbows was paired with it. I was officially dressed as an Espada.

I went to stand up, but my head hurt way too much- so I fell back down onto the bed.

"Holy shit, what happened? I feel like I just drank a whole bottle of Sake." I said while holding my head.

"You've awakened, and you look terrible." Said a soft voice. I recognized it to be Ulquiorra's. I turned on my side and my eyes found him sitting by the window.

"Ugh, I feel like I just crawled out from under a rock slide. Did Aizen make you my baby sitter so he could make sure I didn't run away?" I said with a tired voice.

"You look as bad as you feel. He told me to watch you, but I don't mind it. You're different than the others." He said while fiddling with his zipper. My hand shot to my neck and the hole was still there.

I sat up slowly and looked at him through half narrowed eyes.

"Where are we anyway?" I asked.

"You're in my room, sitting on my bed." He said as if it was nothing. My eyes grew wide and I leapt off the bed and landed on the floor. I quickly stood up, but I couldn't handle it. As I was about to hit the ground, a pair of arms caught me. I looked up to see Ulquiorra staring down at me.

"You need to relax. Go sit back down, I don't mind it. You'll kill yourself if you try to do that again." He led me back over to the bed and sat me down.

"Hey, Ulquiorra can I ask you something?" I said in a dazed voice as I lay back down. He nodded once. "Where is your hole located? Ew that sounded gross." I laughed a little bit at myself. I really was losing it.

He kind of looked away at the window and pursed his lips. He started to pull his zipper down, but the door shot open. It was Gin.

"Hey there, if you want me to take over I will." He said while approaching me. Ulquiorra stood up and blocked his way.

"Aizen-sama has entrusted me with this task and I tend to see it through. Your help isn't necessary." He said calmly. Lord knows Gin wouldn't give up that easily.

"Well, I want to take over. It would be my pleasure. Ariswana and I have some catching up to do." He said while eyeing me.

"It's Skyler, asshole." I said while glaring at him.

"That's no way to talk to your boyfriend, love. I won't accept that, it hurts my feelings." He said while pretending to pout.

"Bite me." I said and lay back down with my arm over my eyes.

Before Gin could say anything else, the door flew open yet again to reveal an Espada with medium black hair and some scruff on his chin.

"Ichimaru, Aizen needs to see you. It has to do with her ranking." He said and pointed to me.

"Ah, you couldn't wait five minutes, Stark?" the man shook his head. Gin sighed and walked out of the room. Stark closed the door.

I looked over at Ulquiorra who had an eyebrow raised at me.

"Boyfriend?"

"That was a long time ago. I feel nothing anymore for him. He's the one who did this to me." I said with sheer sadness. Ulquiorra walked over and sat next to where I was lying on the bed.

"He isn't the most pleasant man in the world. You'd be better to stick around me." That was the last thing he said before I dozed off for the hundredth time.


	4. Chapter 4

I opened my eyes and it was extremely dark in the room. I looked at the wall in front of me and it was green, so I knew I was still in Ulquiorra's room. There was a watch on the table next to me with a little piece of paper attached. I picked it up and read it out loud.

"Hey, you might need this here- there are no clocks anywhere and it always looks like its noon. You still seem like you're attached to that whole circle. Come to my room when you wake up!" I finished reading and noticed the signature on the bottom was Halibell's. I smiled to myself and stood.

After fixing myself up in the mirror, I walked out the door to find her room. I was with Grimmjow and Nnoitra last time I was there, so I had no clue where I was or where I was going.

I wandered through about a dozen halls before I started getting frustrated.

"If they want to welcome me so bad, why not give me a stupid map?" I yelled to myself while scratching my head viciously.

"I could show you where you need to go if you'd like…" I heard a soft voice say behind me. I whirled around and saw the girl who was at the table earlier whose hair was the color of Grimmjow's.

"I would highly appreciate that." I said with a laugh. "What's your name?" I inquired.

"I'm Nelliel, but call me Nel. I'm Espada number 2." (I changed that so she could be in this with Halibell). I shook her hand and said my name as well. "Well, where are you off to then, Skyler?" she asked me.

"I'm attempting to find my way to Halibell's room- she told me to meet her there." I responded. She smiled at me and pointed to herself.

"I was invited there also, we could go together." I smiled back and nodded once. We walked through various halls talking of nothing important when we spotted Nnoitra. I was about to yell out when she put an arm up to stop me and ducked behind a wall.

"Watch out! Please, don't call out to him, he wants my blood more than anything else in the world." She said with sorrow in her eyes.

"Why does he want your blood so bad? It's not like you're a bad person." I said confused.

"He doesn't like that I'm a higher rank than him. He thinks men are stronger than women- and he doesn't like my attitude toward him. Whenever he wants to pick a fight or something, I shoot him down unless it's for a specific reason." She tucked a piece of her long hair behind her ear.

"Well that's just plain ignorant of him. He treats me fine and I'm pretty sure I could kill him. I don't have my ranking just yet, but I know it won't be low if Aizen was willing to come to Soul Society personally to round me up." I said in response. She looked at me when I said Aizen.

"He came for you himself? That is pretty drastic of him, you're lucky you're favored. He treats us all as his own, but it's nice to know you can do some things others can't. I'm not special enough." She said as she peered around the corner. Nnoitra was gone, so we continued on.

"Hey, Nel- what are the odds of him being at Halibell's also?" I asked.

"Not too high, Halibell knows he hates me. She would never have asked me to come if he was there…unless she's trying to get us to work it out- even though she wouldn't bring you around if that were the case. She wouldn't want to expose you to something to brutal when you had just arrived here, you know?" she said while we continued on. I nodded once in response even though I really didn't understand. Did they think I was weak minded and couldn't handle brutal? I've seen worse than any of them could imagine- such as my own death.

"Well, we're finally here- how about you go ahead and knock?" she told me. I walked forward and knocked three times on the wooden door with the purple symbol. It had taken ages to get here, what are the odds that my room was the other way and I was really close? After I knocked the third time, the door flew open and there stood a smiling Halibell.

"Hey there, Sky-chan! Nel-sama!" she yelled and pulled us both into the room. Already in there were three other girls who were all arguing with one another over something minuscule, Grimmjow, Ulquiorra, the man known as Stark, and the pink haired man called Sayzel Aporro. Seeing Sayzel, my eyes widened and I immediately got into battle stance. I remember what he did to me, I just didn't know why.

"Woah there, Sky-chan, take it down a notch. He's just here to hang around with us. We're friends, don't worry about it." Halibell said as she put a hand on my shoulder to relax me. I put my arms down and sat on her bed, glaring at Sayzel.

"Hey, don't give me that look! I was asked to do something by Aizen-sama, so I did. I didn't want to administer the drug, but I was ordered to." He said with his hands up in defense.

"Maybe you should start questioning your orders more." I responded. They all looked at me like I had one hundred heads. "Well, that's what I believe anyway, don't go by me- I'm usually wrong." I said while lying back on the bed. They were still dead silent, so I sat up and looked around. They were all communicating silently, and it was getting under my skin.

"Secrets, secrets are no fun unless you share with everyone!" I yelled with my brows furrowed and the three girls couldn't help but laugh at my stupid comment.

"That's a good one, we'll use that from now on." They said while high fiving. Halibell gave me the death stare then shook her head.

"They serve under me, so thank you for that, Sky." She said.

"Anytime, Hally." I responded. I liked these new nicknames that were coming up, so I decided to make more. I laughed evilly to myself, and then stood up on her bed. I started pointing to everyone and coming up with terrible nicknames.

"Halibell, I'm going to call you Hally. Nel, I'm just going to stick with Nel because it's short enough and I like it! Sayzel, I think I'll call you Pop because you remind me so much of a strawberry poptart." He took a swing at me, but I dodged it and jumped onto Stark's lap. Halibell looked like she would have a heart attack. "I don't know you too well, but I know your name's Stark- I'll just stick with that for now. Ulquiorra, I don't want to call you anything except your name, it has a nice ring to it. Grimmjow, I think I'll call you Grim." I said pleased with myself. Everyone froze and looked at him. He just shrugged and lay back in the chair he was sitting in.

"Was it something I said?" I asked when no one responded. They all laughed and shook their heads at me.

"You know, those are some pretty terrible nicknames." Sayzel said annoyed.

"Hey, I like mine! It sounds good." Halibell responded. Ulquiorra and Nel nodded in agreement.

"That's only because she's using your actual names!" Sayzel yelled.

"Take it down a notch Pop; you're givin' me a headache." Grimmjow said with his hand on his right eyebrow. I couldn't hold the laughter, the nickname actually stuck. I leapt off of Stark's lap cause it was really awkward and landed next to Ulquiorra on the couch. He cleared his throat quietly and rubbed his face a little.

"Wow I just noticed something, Sky." Halibell said.

"What did you just notice?" I asked.

"You have a really small chest!" she yelled out. I covered myself and blushed.

"What the hell are you looking there for anyway you creep? And it's not small…it's just petite at the moment." I yelled.

"What the hell does _at the moment _mean?" Grimmjow asked while picking his teeth.

"None of your business, my secrets are my own." I said under my breath.

"What, is one of your powers to make em' larger to distract the enemy?" Sayzel said while laughing.

"No, you moron! That would just be plain stupid…" I replied in my defense.

"Well, then what's your secret? We're all friends here!" Halibell said while smacking my shoulder. They wouldn't leave me alone! I didn't want to say anything; especially not in front of Ulquiorra- it's just awkward in front of him…

"Would you all just shut up already?" I yelled while covering my ears. They all stared at me as one of the three girls attempted to pry my hands off of my ears.

"Just tell us and we'll leave you alone!" another one yelled.

"GAH FINE! They're too big and they get in the way of battle, so I tape them, alright?" I yelled while curling up in a ball. The girls laughed and the guys just raised an eyebrow.

"You know, it's hard to imagine you with anything bigger than that!" Nel yelled while covering her mouth with laughter.

"Shut the hell up, I'm a size DD." I said while putting my chin on my knees and pouting.

"Well, that was a…interesting topic for conversation." Ulquiorra said softly. I felt my face heat up and I hid it from everyone.

"Come on, Sky- don't be like that we're just kidding." Stark said.

"You guys are butts." I said while pouting. They all grinned and leaned back in whatever they were sitting in. After that, everyone broke off into little groups and talked about nothing in particular. I was sitting next to Ulquiorra, so I chose him.

"Remember what I told you about soul mates?" I asked him. He nodded while rubbing his face again. "Well, have you seen anyone with this?" I asked while I pointed to my neck again. He shook his head no and played with his zipper's collar again. I sighed and lay against the back of the couch.

"If you do, let me know. Even with friends, this place still fills me with emptiness. My Soul Slayer even told me I couldn't love until I found that one person. I need love in my life, Ulquiorra." I said in a daze. He just gulped and looked at my feet.

"**I'll keep my eyes open."** He responded, then there was silence in the room.


	5. Chapter 5

I had told myself long ago that I would never feel right in this place. It just wasn't meant for me to be here, I really belonged in Soul Society. I felt like an outcast even though I had friends. I wasn't interested in the plans Aizen was making, there was no way I would fight against my friends.

I strolled down a long corridor with my hands in my pockets. I was wearing a long black jacket over the dress, it was colder there today- if you could imagine that. I took my hands out of my pockets and crossed my arms across my chest. Where was I going? I wasn't sure. I walked around the corner and saw Grimmjow skulking down.

"Hey, Grim! Wait up!" I yelled to him while running. He turned around and looked at me, then stopped. "Thanks, I was getting kind of lonely, I'm still not too familiar with this place." I said while walking up next to him.

"We really need to get you a map." He replied without looking at me. I looked up at him with my brow furrowed.

"You've been acting really weird around me, Grim. What's going on?" I asked him. He looked at me and sneered.

"I'm not acting weird I don't know what you're talking about." He replied.

"Yes you have, whenever I'm around you're so quiet and you're never quiet." I said.

"I'm not quiet around you; I just never have anything to say because I barely know you. Jeeze, don't be such a woman." He said while looking at his feet. I knew he was lying and I wanted serious answers. I stopped walking and he turned around and looked at me. "What's your problem?" he yelled and I got defensive.

"What's MY problem? What's YOUR problem?" I yelled back while raising my arms. "I know you're lying, tell me what's going on, Grimmjow!" I yelled at him while my eyes twitched.

"I'm NOT LYING! What the hell do I have to do to get you to understand that?" he yelled back.

"How about telling the truth. Whatever it is, I can handle it you ass-pit." I said while re-crossing my arms. He slammed his fist against the wall and put the other hand on the back of his head.

"I can't say it. Aizen told me not to tell you anything. It was that day you got drugged by Sayzel. The memories you have were meant for me to see- except everyone else saw them too. You have it in the back of your mind, you just don't know it." He said in a low voice.

"I don't understand. What are you talking about? What do you mean I have a memory in the back of my head but I can't access it? That makes no sense!" I said starting to panic. He cursed under his breath and kicked the wall

"You can't know alright? I'll tell you eventually, but I can't right now. You have to understand…and no I'm not in love with you." he said. I couldn't help but laugh at that.

"I didn't think so; I was just wondering why you were acting funny. I'll never leave you alone until you tell me though!" I said while jumping on his bag and messing his hair.

"Ah get off me you bitch!" he yelled while trying to get me off. I laughed at him and kept poking him in the head.

"Come on Grimmy! Tell me what you know!" I yelled as I gave him a noogie. He wrapped his arms around my legs and started sprinting down the hall. "Hey, quit it I'm going to fall off!" I yelled between laughs. He gave a small laugh under his breath, and then sped up. We turned the corner and saw Ulquiorra walking down the hall. I leaned down and whispered in Grimmjow's ear.

"Sick him, boy." I said. He just smirked and sped up faster. Ulquiorra had no idea what was coming, we cloaked out spiritual pressure so low I could barely even feel my own. We ran up right next to him and I dove off of Grimmjow and onto him.

"Ulquiorrraaaaaaa!" I yelled as I pounced on him. We fell to the ground and he let out a groan when I hit him. I landed on top of him and we made eye contact as I smiled wide. "Hi there!" I said.

"Nice to see you too, Sky." He said while attempting to get up. I didn't move.

"I don't know, this seems kind of comfy, don't you think?" I asked him while suppressing laughter.

"Maybe for you, except you don't have a human body on top of you." he said with a monotone voice.

"NOT YET!" I heard someone yell behind me. I turned my head just enough to see Sayzel jump out of nowhere and land on top of me, knocking me off of Ulquiorra in the process.

"Ow you son of a bitch! Pop, what the hell are you thinking?" I said annoyed.

"Well, I figured I should save Ulquiorra from your evil clutches." He said while he was still on top of me. He noticed the position we were in and a dark red blush crept across his face. I kicked him off of me and stood up while brushing myself off. I looked over to Ulquiorra who was already walking away. Sayzel then stood up to and called out to him.

"Hey, Ulquiorra! What, no thank you?" he yelled. Ulquiorra turned around and gave him a death glare.

"What's there to thank you for?" he said sounding a little angry. Sayzel and I exchanged glances, and I ran after him. I caught up to him and looked at his face. When he didn't turn to look at me, I said his name.

"What do you want, Skyler?" he said in a mean way.

"What do you mean what do I want? Are you alright?" I asked him with concern.

"I'm fine, don't worry." He replied.

"Don't lie to me, you're not fine- I can tell." I said. He finally stopped and looked at my face.

"You cannot tell because you don't know me. Who are you to come here after being in Soul Society? In my opinion, you're just trash and you don't even matter." He said before walking away. I just stood there with my eyes widened and my mouth slightly agape. Did he really just say that to me? Normally I would have chased after him and beat the crap out of him- but his words really stung. They hurt…bad.

I wanted to go back to my room, and the only way I knew how to get there from where I was, was to go past where he was walking. I bit my lower lip and used Sonido to get past him. As I was going by, I noticed he had looked at me, maybe with regret? It didn't matter. I pushed my Sonido as far as it could go until I reached the door to Aizen's court. I kicked through the door and walked right up to where he was sitting.

"I need my own room, now." I said almost in hysterics. He exchanged nervous glances with Gin and Tousen, then nodded once. He threw me a piece of paper which opened up to be a map. "Finally." Was all I said to him. He pointed to the red spot on the map.

"This room is unoccupied, you may use it." I nodded once and bowed to him- the first time I ever showed respect to him.

I left the room and strolled around the halls trying to hold back tears. Why did I feel like this? He was my friend, yes and he had hurt me. He was fine five minutes ago, and then he turns around and says something like that? **It wasn't right**, there was something wrong.


	6. Chapter 6

I walked up to the door of my new room and there was a black symbol on the front, just as Halibell had a purple one and Ulquiorra had a green one. Thinking of him, I remembered that I had some stuff left in his room…I would have to go when he wasn't there.

I keyed into the door and walked through. The walls were black and against the right hand wall, there was a huge bed with dark red covers- it was gorgeous. The drapes were the same color as the bed and there was a wooden dresser on the opposite side of the room. The room was dark, and I liked it that way. I sat down on the bed and bounced a little.

"Aizen really knows how to treat a lady." I said with a scoff. I heard a small rap at my door and when I opened it Stark stood there with Halibell.

"Hey, Skyler we heard you got a new room- guess we were right. Can we come in?" Stark asked and I nodded once.

"Wow, this is nicer than my room!" Halibell exclaimed with excitement. She sat down on my bed and she gasped. "This is awesome, I think I'll sleep with you from now on." She said with a laugh. I smiled in response but didn't say anything. I walked over and sat beside her on the bed.

"Maybe I'll get couches or something like you do." I said to her.

"No way, my room is the party pad!" she said with a smile. "Speaking of, come to my place later we all need to talk." She said while standing up. I stood up also and nodded again.

"We'll see you later then Skyler." Stark said with a wave as Halibell hugged me and ran out the door. I sat down on my bed again and looked at the watch she gave me. It was a little past 8, so I decided to take a nap until around 10ish. I set up an alarm to wake me when the time came and lay down. I wanted to forget everything and have a mind-numbing sleep.

I heard a loud beeping in my face and I had no idea what it was, so I punched it. When I did, I heard a loud CRACK and when I opened my eyes I realized I exploded my alarm clock and I cursed under my breath. I decided now would be the time to go see Halibell and all of them. Hopefully she wouldn't ask Ulquiorra to come, even though no one else knew what was said.

I literally rolled out of bed and landed on the ground with a thud and a moan. I was still so tired. I stood up in front of the mirror that was next to my dresser and looked at myself. I looked pretty good aside from the huge bags under my eyes and the fact that my dress was rolled all the way up sleep. I felt like crap, so I tied my hair up in a pony tail and rolled my dress down. I opened one of the dresser draws and saw that I was able to wear something aside from my uniform. Feeling horrible, I took out a pair of black jeans and a long sleeved red shirt. I threw my boots off and put on awkward looking shoes, I didn't even know what to call them- but they looked okay. I remembered Halibell mentioning she wouldn't be wearing her uniform either, so I didn't feel like a total moron.

I walked out the door and locked it behind me. I whipped out the map Aizen had so kindly given to me and followed my way to her room. When I saw the purple symbol, I tucked the map away and knocked three times. I heard someone get up and run over and when the door opened I saw it was Nel and she was wearing a green dress-like thing that was ripped in the middle to show her stomach.

"Hey there, Sky! You look…terrible." She said as her spirit fell a little. "I like your outfit, but you look like you need to sleep for days." She said as she ushered me in. I walked in the room and noticed that everyone was wearing something different…except for Ulquiorra, who was sitting in his usual place on the couch. Instead of taking my usual spot next to him, I went and sat on Hally's bed. They all looked at me and they all gave me a look of pity.

"Wow, you look awful. What have you been doing?" Sayzel asked.

"Plotting your death." I said in a monotone voice. A few people cracked smiles; others just looked at me with sorrow.

"I'm surprised your face isn't sagging from how big those bags are, Skyler." Grimmjow said while grimacing.

"Leave me alone, I'm not in the mood." I responded while closing my eyes.

"You were so full of life earlier today, what the hell happened?" Grimmjow asked.

"Nothing." Was all I said before lying down and facing away from everyone. They all shrugged and talked amongst themselves. I finally got tired of sulking to myself and joined the conversation between Hally and Nel.

I heard another knock at the door and when no one else did, I got up to open it. Nnoitra was standing outside wearing black jeans and a long sleeved black shirt; he looked pretty similar to me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"What's with you people? You excluding me or somethin'?" he asked a little insulted.

"We're not excluding you; you just don't get along with some people who are with us right now. If you could control yourself, then you would be here right now." I responded.

"Oh yeah? Who don't I get along with?" he asked. I threw the door open and Nel turned around with her eyes wide. He sneered and I closed it so she was out of view again. "So what? She doesn't matter to me. I need something to do tonight, I need to get out. Just let me in." I stopped him from moving forward.

"Wait here." I said when I went back into the room. They all looked at me with brows raised. "He wants to come in, he needs something to do tonight." I said while making quotation movements with my hands.

"Can he handle it?" Halibell asked.

"He says he can, but we'll just have to see." I said before opening the door again. He looked at me with an irritated face and walked in the room when I moved over. I went and sat on the bed again and he sat next to me. Everyone was silent until I turned to Hally to spark some conversation. Everything went back to the way it was- Nnoitra and Grimmjow talking while Ulquiorra glared at Sayzel from afar.

Things went pretty well, Nnoitra even asked Nel to pass him something- in a nice way. Maybe things would actually work out between the two of them and there would be no casualty's. I sat there, staring into space when Grimmjow touched my shoulder.

"What's up with you? I know there's something bothering you, what is it?" he asked while sitting down with his hands behind his head.

"Nothing's bothering me, I'm just tired is all." I responded.

"Don't like to me, I can tell you have some issue." He said while lying back on the bed. I brought my knees to my chest and put my head to them. I looked over at him and he was looking back at me.

"It's just something someone said is all. I'll get over it, it's just a little awkward right now." I said while sighing. I noticed his eyes flow over to Ulquiorra then back to me. I shook my head in response, saying that it wasn't him and Grimmjow gave me a look like 'you're definitely lying right now'. I shook my head more forcefully and he just shrugged and walked back over to his spot next to Nnoitra. I stood up and stretched out.

"Well, Hally I think I'm going to head back to my room- I'm exhausted." I said with a fake yawn that was completely obvious. Everyone looked at me and said their good-byes. I opened the door to leave and before I did, I turned around the look at Ulquiorra- who was staring at me intently. I gave a quick glare then used Sonido to get out of there.

I turned to Ulquiorra when Skyler had left and gave him a glare.

"What did you do?" I asked him. He looked right at me and his eyes said nothing.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Have I done something while I was sitting here?" he asked with a monotone voice.

I flicked my long blonde hair out of my eyes and glanced at Stark who was shaking his head.

"I can tell there's something weird with you and Skyler. Did you say something? She looks worse than usual." I said.

"Halibell, I said nothing to her. She attacked me earlier today and I didn't say anything harmful then, so what makes you think it was me?" he asked again.

"I don't know, she felt attached to you somehow. You were the first person she met when she came here- she saw you as a good friend. She didn't even talk to you when she was here." I said matter-of-factly.

"I don't know." Was all he said before he walked out of the room. I looked around and everyone was confused, except for Grimmjow. He looked pissed.

"I asked her what was wrong before and she said someone had said something to her that bothered her. I asked if it was him and she denied it, but **I'm pretty sure he said something.**" He said when he saw me looking at him.

"**We'll just have to wait and see** what happens then." I responded. Looks like there's going to be a lot of changes. Even Nel and Nnoitra just shared a laugh, what was going on?


	7. Chapter 7

When I woke up the next morning, I was still so tired- it felt as if I would never be well rested again. Once again, I rolled out of bed and landed on the ground with a thud. I didn't feel like wearing anything in my drawers, so I headed out the door to Nnoitra's room. I followed the map until I came to the door with the dark red symbol on the front and rapped on it three times. He answered the door looking slightly annoyed and before he could say anything I pushed past him and walked into his room

"Hey, what the hell you doin'?" he asked with his eyebrow twitching. I ripped open his bottom drawer and took out a huge long sleeved black shirt. Standing right there and not caring, I stripped my own shirt off.

"WHAT THE HELL!" He yelled while pretending to cover his eyes. "Damn you weren't kidding when you said you taped them." He sad uncovering his eyes when he realized there was nothing to hide from.

"Yeah, whatever." I said as I slipped into the shirt. When I was settled I looked at him with a grin. "You liked it, don't lie." I said while covering the laughter. His eyes just narrowed and he looked away slightly blushing.

"What are you doing today, anyway?" he asked as I plopped on his bed.

"Dunno, I just woke up and Halibell hasn't burst through my room- so I figured I'd come here to steal one of your oh so snazzy shirts!" I said while kicking my feet. Without warning, the door burst open to reveal Sayzel.

"What's going on in here? Skyler, what are you doing in his shirt? And on his bed?" he yelled while putting his hands to the top of his head. I decided to mess with him, he was may too concerned. I leapt off the bed and jumped on Nnoitra's back.

"Didn't you know? I have some steamy affection for him." I said while pretending to lick his head. Nnoitra threw me off of him and said 'idiot' under his breath as he stalked away. Sayzel looked like he blew a gasket.

"You know, that's not funny, Skyler. I really thought you were serious." He said while he hung his head down. Why was he being like that? I walked over and patted him on the head.

"Try not being so gullable, Pop. Anyways, have you seen Halibell?" I asked. He shook his head no and I sighed out of frustration. I walked past him and ran all the way to her room. "Oh damn, I'm really out of shape!" I yelled to myself as I tried catching my breath. When I regained composure, I knocked once on her door. When no one answered, I realized it was slightly open. I pushed it forward and peered in. I saw Halibell…making out with Stark? I held my breath and lightly shut the door. I used Sonido to get back in front of my room then landed on the ground hysterical laughing.

"I did NOT see that one coming!" I yelled to myself as I choked on laughter. I wiped the tears from crying so hard and attempted to compose myself when I saw Ulquiorra skulking down the hall. I immediately jumped to my feet and turned my back to him. I started walking in the same direction as him so I wouldn't have to face him. I figured I would go see Grimmjow so I wouldn't look like a total ass just walking nowhere.

I heard him pick up the pace a little, so I used Sonido to get to Grimmjow's room. There was a light blue symbol on his door and scratch marks. Yup, I was definitely in the right place. I knocked once and he opened the door with anger in his eyes, but it disappeared when he saw me looking flustered. He opened it all the way to let me in.

"Hey, how are you? You didn't seem like yourself the other night, it was painful just to look at you." he said as I sat on his windowsill. I smiled over to him.

"I'm fine, really. Thanks for the concern but you really don't need to worry about me- I don't understand why you care so much." I responded while suppressing a yawn. He just sighed and cursed under his breath before sitting beside me and putting his feet on the wall.

"I already told you I couldn't tell you yet…" before he could continue, there was another knock at the door. He dragged his feet all the way to the door and when he opened it; one of the messengers was there. He pointed at me and beckoned me to follow him. I did as I was told and gave Grimmjow's shoulder a pat before exiting.

"Where are we going?" I asked him.

"Aizen-sama summons you." he responded.

"Oh, I see." I said, and then there was silence all the way there. He pushed the door open and shoved me in, then closed it. I walked forward to stand before Aizen.

"Ah, Skyler how have you been?" he inquired.

"Fine, can't complain. Why'd you call me here, anyways?" I asked while picking something off of Nnoitra's shirt.

"Well, first of all why are you not in proper attire?" he asked with a raised brow.

"I feel like hell, next question." I responded.

"Okay then…I summoned you here to let you know I'll be leaving for a short time. Gin will be in charge, you are to spread this around Las Noches because you have the fastest Sonido around." He said with a twinkle in his eye. It made me want to gag.

"You're leaving Gin in charge? What, are you really trying to kill me here?" I asked slightly frightened.

"No, I'm not trying to kill you. Don't worry, I trust him with everything I have. On a lighter note, you'll be getting your rank." He said.

"When? I've been waiting forever." I responded. He stood from where he was sitting.

"Right now." He walked down to me as every Espada walked into the room talking amongst themselves. All of their eyes landed on me and most of them smiled, while the rest just had the same lifeless look in their eyes. Aizen ushered me over to a large chair without a back with a black cushion. I sat down as instructed and a man with a giant light blue suitcase walked up behind me. He had a mask on and two rubber gloves.

"Who are you?" I asked him, and I got no answer. I just shrugged and waited. The man was instructed to take off my shirt. I immediately hugged myself, not allowing him access. No one was supposed to know my secret; it was just a coincidence that my friends had found out. All of Hueco Mundo didn't need to know!

"Skyler, you need to give him access to your left shoulder." Aizen said slightly frustrated.

"Sorry, but I have a little somthin' somethin' no one here needs to know about. I'm not budging." I responded while closing my eyes tight.

"Don't make us use force on you." he replied. When I didn't answer, I heard him sigh and snap his fingers once. I felt a small gust of wind when someone appeared before me. I opened my eyes to be face to face with Ulquiorra. It was as if Aizen knew what happened, even though I knew he didn't.

Ulquiorra immediately pried my arms apart and tore my shirt in half.

"AH WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" I yelled while leaping up. I went to kick him in the balls, but the masked tattoo man grabbed me around the waist and tied my hands to the back-less chair. "GODAMMIT YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS YOU SON OF A BITCH!" I yelled as I writhed in the chair. He simply paid no mind to me and started un-rapping the tape. I gasped out of horror and sat there frozen in shock. In case you're wondering, I obviously put bras on before taping- so I wasn't sitting there nude. As soon as he took the last piece of tape off, I could feel a heavy weight. I looked at the faces of my fellow Espada and felt a deep blush creep across my face. I looked at Nnoitra's face first and saw that his eyes had bugged out and his tongue flopped out of his mouth. Grimmjow's teeth were gritting together and he looked as if he'd kill someone. Halibell covered Stark's eyes and muttered 'I'm sorry' over to me. I looked at Ulquiorra's face last and he looked paler than usual. He would pay for ripping my shirt.

"Brace yourself." Was all I heard the masked man say before I heard the buzzer going. I felt it connect with my skin and my back immediately arched. I wouldn't give in to the pain, so I just mouthed the words 'oh fuck'. I just breathed deeply in and out until it finally ended. I let out a long exhale as he wiped the blood off of my shoulder. Aizen came over and nodded down at me.

"Ready to see your ranking?" he asked me.

"Well, I would hope so since it's now engraved onto my body!" I yelled angrily. He held up a mirror in front and back of me so I could see it. "Wow, I didn't think it would be that good." I said as I stared agape at the mirror image. Everyone was staring eagerly at me, so I gulped and turned around. Aizen put a hand on my head and said

"My friends, you are now looking at the newest member of our team. Skyler Lester- Espada number Zero." Look out world, I was marked powerful now! I thought sarcastically in my head. Woohoo.


	8. Chapter 8

I walked around Aizen and went over to the table everyone was sitting at. I jumped on top and threw my arms up in the air.

"Announcement! Gin Ichimaru will be taking over in Aizen's stead, for he has somewhere to be. Are we clear?" I asked and after a few murmurs I got nods from everyone. I leapt off the table and picked up the shirt fragments that were sprawled across the floor. I tied them around my upper half and Aizen dismissed everyone. Everyone rose to leave, and I walked over to Ulquiorra.

"Hey, before you go back to wherever you were- can we talk in the hall?" I asked with pure innocence. He nodded coldly and we walked out together. I saw Halibell give me a nod of encouragement- she could tell something had happened.

We walked off to the side and once everyone had cleared, I looked him straight in the eye to show I meant business.

"What's going on, Ulquiorra? One minute- you're treating me with utter respect, and the next you're treating me like I crawled out of a hole in the ground and got some dust on your precious shoe. What gives? And you didn't even question Aizen when he told you to completely degrade me!" I said in barely a whisper.

"It's Aizen-SAMA to you. I respect you because it's my job- when it isn't necessary, I simply ignore it. You mean nothing- you did come out of that hole of a Soul Society you're nothing but garbage. Power? I see nothing but a woman who doesn't even see herself in the right light. I don't question my orders because Aizen-sama's always right, no matter the cost." He said simply.

"Oh, so you enjoyed exposing me to the entire team of Espada then? You just love seeing me in pain, don't you? Well that's just sick. You tore my shirt off knowing I was hiding something anyway. Thanks for practically raping me!" I yelled in his face.

"As I said before, you're nothing but useless female trash." He said before walking away. I didn't even feel like dealing with his sorry butt right now. I needed to go put clothes on. I sprinted back to my room and put on my actual uniform for once. I headed out the door to Hally's once again. When I knocked, she actually answered this time.

"Are you alone in there?" I inquired. She rose and eyebrow and nodded once. I walked into the room with a sly smile. "You and Stark, eh?" I said and she blushed deeply.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She responded.

"Well you covered his eyes in the other room- and I knocked earlier today and when you didn't answer I kinda walked in and saw you two lip-locked." I said with a guilty look. Her eyes widened.

"That was you? Oh well, better than being someone else. What do you think? I'm so happy!" she said while pouncing over to me.

"I think it's cute- you guys work well. I saw something there a while ago, I just didn't think it would kick into gear so soon." I said while messing with her hair. "I'm extremely bored, turn around and talk to me." She did as she was told and turned around while looking at me like I was an idiot. I started braiding her hair, curious to see what it would look like. She blabbed on and on about her and Stark and what the others would say and she hoped we would all support her and such. It was nice to hear about someone else's problems other than my own. When I stopped, she turned around to smile at me.

"How are things with Ulqui-chan? I know something exploded between the two of you and you've been hiding it. What did he say when you talked to him before?" she inquired. I spaced out the window and felt something drop within me.

"He pretty much repeated the same thing he said the first time. I won't go into detail, just know it wasn't good." I said. She looked at me and there was pure sadness there. I went to say something, but I saw her eyes widen once again.

"HOLY CRAP!" she yelled while pointing to my neck.

"WHAT?" I yelled in response while getting to my feet.

"Your hole is gone!" she yelled. I sprinted over to her mirror, and she was right- it was gone!

"Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap! Where did it go?" I yelled while frantically looking at myself. She ran over to me and started examining around my dress.

"You'll have to forgive me!" she yelled while lifting it up. She looked at my lower back and sighed. "I found it." She stated simply.

"Where did it move to?" I asked.

"It's on your lower back- right where your tail bone would be." I touched right there and she was right.

"Wow, that's a strange spot." I said slightly out of it. She nodded once, and then there was a strange creaking sound at the door. We turned toward it as it burst open. It was Gin.

"Ay, Skyler-Chan!" He yelled while prancing over to me.

"What do you want?" I said with acid on my tongue.

"I want you to come with me. Aizen-sama just left and I'm now in charge! As an order, I want you to follow me into my room so we can…catch up." He said suddenly getting serious.

"I think I'll have to decline that offer, thanks." I said turning back to Halibell. He then grabbed my wrist with force and opened his eyes. They were still the same green color I once knew, it sent a pang in my heart.

"You don't have a choice, you're coming with me." He said while yanking my body to the door. "Have a pleasant evening, Halibell- you'll see her again around dinner." He said to her before slamming the door.

"Godammit, Gin! You can't do this!" I yelled as he threw me into his room.

"I can do whatever I want right now- you just need to cooperate." He said while straddling me.

"Get. Your. Bony. Ass. Off. Of. Me. Right. Now.!" I yelled with my teeth clenched.

"Or what, baby? You gonna scream?" he asked while laughing. I gave out a half-assed battle cry and let out a burst of Reiatsu to shove him off. It worked, and he fell to the ground. I drew my sword and pointed it at his neck. "You wouldn't dare." He said while glaring.

"Oh baby, watch me." I said as I kicked his head. He lay there in pain and I took that chance to sprint away. I kicked his door open and ran down the hallway as fast as I could. I was breathing heavily and trying not to burst into hysterics- I was really freaked out! I kept running and I even ran past Ulquiorra who looked at me like I was some moron. I heard Gin call behind me.

"Ulquiorra! I order you to stop her! You're under my command! Stop her!" he yelled. I felt someone on my tail and slightly turned to see Ulquiorra flying toward me.

"OH GOD NO!" I yelled while attempting to use sonido. Why wasn't it working? He caught up to me and grabbed me around the waist. I struggled, but there was no escaping his clutches. I turned toward his face and he was staring down at me. I couldn't read his expression. I let the tears fall from fear.

"Oh god, why did you do this to me? He's going to rape me!" I yelled out of fear and started shaking. His grip loosened, but then re-tightened. Gin came sprinting over and ripped me out of his grasp. I gave out a yell of pain when he grabbed me by the hair.

"You need to be punished for disobeying orders, and lucky for you I have just the thing." He said. He looked over at Ulquiorra. "Thank you, you will be rewarded. You'll also get to enjoy her punishment tonight, you may go." Ulquiorra nodded and gave me one last look before walking off.

"What are…you going to do to me?" I said with a sniffle.

"What any man would dream of. You're going to dance for me." He said with fire in his eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You'll find out." He said while dragging me to a spare room. He still had me by the hair when he reached into some closet like thing. When he re-emerged he had something in his hand that looked like underwear…and it included chains.

"**OH JESUS CHRIST WHY?"**I yelled as he dragged me away to my fate.


	9. Chapter 9

Gin threw me into his room and then threw the awkward garment at my head.

"You'll put that on and come into the dining hall. If you're not there in ten minutes, I'll send Ulquiorra up here to deal with you- I'm sure you don't want that." He said while closing the door. He was right; I didn't want him to come up here. I stripped down and put his strange piece on. It was absolutely horrific! It was just lacy lingerie with knee high boots and there were chains that came down around my stomach.

"This is sick! Absolutely putrid!" I yelled to myself as I kicked a hole right into his wall. Looking at the clock, I only had about 2 minutes left. "Oh god!" I yelled as I used Sonido to get to the hall. When I walked in the room, no one looked thankfully. I looked to the north and saw that there was a small stage set up. I'd never been in this room before, so I wasn't sure if this is what it usually looked like.

"Back here, Skyler-chan!" I heard Gin call from behind the curtain. I went back there quickly hoping no one saw me.

"You're going to pay for this." I said while glaring deeply at him.

"Don't talk to me like that. Now, this is what you're going to do…"

I peered out from behind the curtain to see all the lights had gone down and everyone was murmuring to themselves in a confused manor. I looked to the right to see Halibell and everyone sitting at a table- including Ulquiorra. They were all talking and Ulquiorra just stayed silent as he thought to himself. I had the strongest urge to go out there and strangle him- if it weren't for him, I could have escaped through a portal until Aizen returned or something…

I heard something snap behind me and turned to see a VERY large man with long arms who was holding something thin and black. Gin emerged from behind him with his usual smile.

"You know what to do- and I'll just warn you now, if you falter I'll have our big friend over take care of it." He said while pointing to the huge guy. I had a mental sweat drop and laughed nervously. I am so fucked…

I heard awkward music starting and I recognized the song immediately. Gimme more, by Britney Spears. This is the song he was making me sing? DAMMIT. I walked out there doing a little stupid dance and as soon as I started the song, all eyes turned to me. My table of friends looked at me with horror in their eyes. I saw Halibell stand up.

"You can't do this, Ichimaru! Whether you're in charge or not, Aizen-sama will hear about this!" she yelled while pointing at him. He walked over to her and bent her finger completely back.

"So, if Aizen-sama does hear about this- I'll know who to go after." She let out a yell of pain as he bent it. Stark shot out of his chair and ripped her from his grasp and sat her down while rapping her finger. I stopped to watch the whole scene and Gin snapped his fingers once. I felt a huge stab of pain in my back and let out a small yelp. I turned around to see the large guy had whipped me! I did a small dance again and heard Gin yell. "Pick up the pace!" I didn't follow his order and got whipped again. Feeling fed up, I just stopped completely and stared out at him. The man whipped me, and whipped me but I never gave in. The lights went back on and after being whipped one last time, I was dismissed.

I walked out in the hall and touched my back. I was bleeding, bad. I was strong in front of Gin so he wouldn't get the luxury of seeing me lose it. Once I had gotten in the hall I leaned against the wall and slid to the ground. I looked up and saw the white wall was streaked with my blood. I fell to the ground in agony and let out a sob. I was still dressed horribly and I didn't even care right now. I couldn't be strong anymore; I lay down in the hall and sobbed my eyes out. I felt a presence above me, but in fear of it being Gin I didn't look up- I just started dry heaving.

"Sit up, I have a cloak for you." I heard Hally say in my ear. I sat up and looked at her- standing around her were all of my friends. She slipped it onto me, but realized it didn't have a back. "You're going to bleed out if we don't do something soon." I stood up with her help and looked at all of their faces. They all looked like they were in pain. I looked at her index finger and noticed it was wrapped and swollen.

"I'm sorry about that- you didn't have to say anything." I said with a shaky voice.

"Don't worry about it, I would rather have a broken finger than watch you have a broken pride." She responded.

"Ha, my pride's been long gone." I said while I started walking. I saw Ulquiorra was staring at me and I looked at his face the entire time I walked near him. When I was next to him, I saw him hold something out to me- it was a white towel to clean the blood. So he decides to care now? I let out another sob and used sonido to get away from them all. I felt so damn weak, but I knew I didn't deserve this. It was too much.

Days went by without me leaving my room. I didn't eat. I barely slept. I didn't speak. I just sat on my windowsill and stared out. One day, there was a knock at my door and when I didn't answer it I heard Aizen's voice behind it. He let himself in and looked at my slumped figure with a frown.

"Hello there, Skyler. How are you?" he asked me. When I didn't look at him or say anything, he moved in front of me and stared down at me until I slowly looked up at him. "Why do you look like you just crawled out of a sewer?" he asked. I just shrugged my shoulders and stood up. I walked over to my bed and grabbed my watch and slipped it on. I couldn't wear shirts that had backs just yet- it was too painful, so when I walked by he got the full glimpse of my back.

"Who did this to you?" he asked with anger. I just shrugged again as he stalked angrily out of the room. I shot out of the bed and ran to Hally's room. When I knocked she answered with a happy face.

"Well, well look what the cat dragged in! What's up? How are you feeling?" she asked while putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Fine, can you summon everyone here? I have something I need to say."

After waiting about 30 minutes for everyone to show up, I stood on a chair to get their attention.

"No one here is going to tell Aizen what happened. I don't feel like having that on my plate on top of Gin's thirst for me. We clear?" I asked while looking around the room. They all looked nervously at each other and shook their heads no. "What do you mean no? All of you?" I asked while my eyes widened.

"We're not gonna keep that whole thing a secret from Aizen-sama. If he asks, we're telling him." Nnoitra said.

"No, I don't want you saying anything. You never saw anything. Nothing happened. I will deny it until the day I die!" I yelled while leaping off the chair.

"You can deny it, but you against all of us means nothing." He replied. I sat down on the ground in the fetal position and looked around the room.

"Fine, be like that." I said. Just then, a messenger walked into the room without even knocking.

"All Espada are to go to the main meeting room for an emergency meeting." He said. We all nodded and then we were off. We strolled into the room and took our seats at the table. I had an end spot with Stark on my other side since he was number one. Aizen stood up and paced around the room. He beckoned for me to join him at his side. I did as I was told.

"Something happened here when I was gone. Someone needs to tell me what. Skyler, show them your back." I shook my head no. He whirled me around and ripped my shirt off to expose my wounds to everyone. Of course they all knew how it happened, but they didn't see it before. I heard gasps and a slam of a fist of which I knew to be Grimmjow.

"What happened?" he asked them all. When no one spoke he used more force. He glared and let out enough reiatsu to send everyone's faces into the table aside from Stark and I. when he let up, he pointed right to Nel and told her to come forward.

"You, tell me." He said. She looked at me and then back at Aizen.

"With all due respect, Aizen-sama, I made a promise not to speak of it." She said simply. Aizen's hand shot out and grabbed her around the neck. She started gagging for air. He had me too tight to move and help her. I heard a chair screech back and heard someone yell.

"Alright I'll tell you!" everyone's eyes landed on Nnoitra. He was…defending Nel? Aizen let her go and she fell to the ground with a cough.

"Go ahead Nnoitra, start from the beginning." Nnoitra looked at me and then dropped his eyes. He told him everything that had happened, and luckily- Aizen believed every word. He turned to Gin at the end of the story, who was looking for some kind of escape, and said with malice

"I'll deal with you later." Gin gave out a gulp and slumped in his chair. Aizen turned back to me and put a hand to my head. "I'm sorry" he said before walking off. Everyone was dismissed and I saw Ulquiorra walking down the hall. I stalked up to him and pushed his right shoulder with rage.

"You're a real son of a bitch you know that? Did it feel good to help Gin torture me? Did you like seeing me do the dance of torture? Or to bleed all over the ground? I bet you loved it, you basked in your own glory!" I yelled in his face. It hit me before I even saw it coming. He slapped me right across the face and I fell to the ground. I touched my cheek and it burned. I looked up at him with my eyes widened.

"You have no right to speak to me that way, you piece of filthy trash." He even spit on me before walking away. I leapt off the ground and attacked him. I tackled him to the ground with an angry yell.

"WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM WITH ME?" I yelled as I tried to strangle him. He grabbed my arms as he gritted his teeth together and threw me off of him. He unsheathed his sword and pointed it at my throat.

"Leave me be, or suffer." He said before sheathing it and walking away. He…would have killed me right there.


	10. Chapter 10

The pressure was starting to grow, and I was really starting to lose it now. Over the past week since the incident, everywhere I went I got stared down by everyone, even some of my friends. I was walking with Nnoitra and when one random Arrancar walking down the hall tried to touch me- Nnoitra wasn't too happy and he sliced his head off. I round house kicked him to the throat and yelled about innocent death. Grimmjow was by my side more often than usual, maybe he was trying to protect me- I didn't know. One day I decided I needed answers, and if I didn't get them, things would be very bad.

I used Sonido to get to Grimmjow's room. I knocked once and he opened right away.

"Expecting someone?" I asked as I walked in. He just shrugged and went over to his drawer and started digging in it. "What are you doing anyway?" I asked him.

"Looking for something." He replied.

"Looking for what?" I asked again.

"A book, okay? Stop asking so many questions." He said while slamming the drawer closed and breathing in.

"Well, I could help you find it. What kind of a book are you looking for?" I asked.

"None of your business, why are you here anyway?" he asked.

"I need answers, and I need them now. Tell me why you're always so protective! I won't let Aizen know you told me. I'm sure he'll find out somehow, but it's not like he'll kill you if you tell me. Obviously I have a right to know." I said with my arms crossed.

"God, how long are you going to keep pestering me about this?" he asked.

"I'll ask you about it until you tell me. If you don't tell me, I swear Grimmjow I'll leave." I said while pointing into his face.

"You should sit down for this one." He said while putting his hand through his hair. I did as I was told and brought my knees up to my chest with a smile. "Why do you look so happy about this?" he said.

"Because I've been waiting forever to hear this, you creep." I said. He rolled his eyes and brought a chair over and sat backwards on it.

"Alright, well remember the day Sayzel drugged you?" he asked. I nodded once. "Well, he injected that powerful chemical into your system- as you know and we saw your suppressed memories. They're inaccessible to you unless Sayzel applies another drug that will keep you awake at the same time as viewing- which is incredibly dangerous. The memory we saw was just…shocking." He said.

"Well, what was it? You have to tell me!" I said while throwing my hands in the air.

"Hold your horses! I didn't get that far. Okay, so the memory we saw from your mind was of me. We knew each other when we were alive…and it turns out that we were…"

"We were what?" I yelled while getting to my feet.

"We were cousins, and by blood we still are now. We're related, Skyler." He said while looking down at me. I didn't know what to think at that point. I had a family member in Hueco Mundo the whole time and no one ever told me? I was never truly alone? I just stared up at his face blankly. He waved a hand in front of my eyes.

"Hello? Do you have any response whatsoever? Are you listening?" he yelled while lightly slapping my cheek to wake me up. I just slowly moved my eyes to his and nodded once. I swore drool was about to drip out. I slowly stood up and grabbed onto the post of his bed to steady myself.

"I think I need to take a walk, I'll be back later to talk more." I said while nodding my head. He just opened the door for me and told me I better come back later.

I walked down the hallway with my arms crossed across my chest. I stopped in my room and threw on black jeans and a dark blue shirt with sleeves that extend to my elbows. I grabbed my long black cloak and slipped it on. I left the building and walked around the perimeter. As I was walking around the huge kingdom, I saw Nel in front of me with two strange Arrancar. She turned around and when she spotted me she smiled and waved me over to her.

"Hey there, Sky-chan! These are my followers, Pesche and Donda-Chakka!" she said as she pointed to each of them. (Remember, this is before they turned into those freaky looking things.) Pesche was actually kind of attractive and Donda-Chakka gave me a respectful bow. I was still in an awkward mood from the information I just found out, so I just smiled lightly.

"Nice to meet you." Nel could see the sadness in my eyes and brought me over to the side.

"What's going on, Sky?" she asked. I just shook my head.

"Ah, I've just been thinking. You know what happens when I think." I said with a small laugh. Luckily, she bought it and let me be.

I continued on my walk and noticed it was a little breezy today. I looked up and noticed I had wandered into the area with the night sky with stars. When I brought my head down again, I saw Ulquiorra sitting on the ground by a small pond. I walked up next to him and took a seat beside him. He looked up at me and his glare became stronger.

"Hey." Was all I said as the wind tussled my hair. He looked up at me and didn't say anything, then looked back down. I looked into the small pond to see what he was looking at and I saw small signs of life. "Aren't you going to say anything?" I said without a monotone voice.

"What do I have to say to you? You're a wasted piece of life, and we have nothing in common. It's a shame we breathe the same air." He replied with his eyes closed. I stood up and stretched out.

"Nice talking with you." I said as I continued on. I started singing 'The garden of everything' by Steve Conte as I walked away and I felt his eyes follow me. There was too much pressure. When I was out of ear shot I let tears fall and let small noise escape. He was so cruel. I was tired of all the lies.

I walked back into the building and stepped into my room. I threw my cloak on my bed and decided I would roam the halls. A group of Arrancar was walking toward me laughing. I simply closed my eyes as I walked past. One of them extended their foot and I leapt over it.

"You'll have to try a little harder than that." I replied as I kept walking. Seems they got a little pissed off and had some left over food in their pocket. I opened my eyes to see Ulquiorra walking toward me. At the same time I opened them, the group behind me decided to dump a huge vat of pork and beans on top of my head. I hit the ground from the force and let out a shriek.

"WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU EVEN KEEPING THOSE?" I yelled as I was coughing on the ground.

"None of your business bitch! Now dance for us!" they yelled back. I stood up and threw my arms down as they ran away laughing. I looked over at Ulquiorra who was just standing there.

"Hm, I figured you wouldn't help me anyway." I said with acid on my tongue. He just picked up a small wad of what was on the ground and chucked it lightly at me.

"But of course not, this look seems to suit you well." He said with amusement. We just stood there staring at each other.

"When did…when did you become so cold?" I said while tears fell down my face. "I can't take it anymore!" I yelled as I sprinted toward Aizen's court. I burst through the door and Aizen immediately got to his feet.

"What happened to you?" he said choking back a small chuckle.

"Does it really matter? Honestly, does anything really matter anymore?" I said with anger and sorrow at the same time.

"What's gotten into you?" he asked while sitting back down.

"Nothing has gotten into me. What's gotten into everyone else? Between Ulquiorra being so cold to me that I can feel the ice from his breath- to everyone mistreating me after what Gin did. Speaking of, where is Gin?" I asked.

"He's in the building…somewhere. I took care of it, don't worry about it. There's something else on your mind as well I can sense it." He said while putting his hand to his chin.

"Yeah, there is. I've always felt so alone here thinking I could never have my own family again- but that doesn't make any sense now, does it? I've made a break through, Aizen. I've unlocked my memories. I know about Grimmjow. It came to me in a dream and there's nothing you can hide from me anymore. Why you hid it from me in the first place, I don't know but I realize something." I said while looking around. His eyes turned icy and his glare deepened.

"Oh? And what is that?" he asked. I flew up to where he was sitting and grabbed his collar. Tousen shot up to move but Aizen held out a hand.

"I need time away from this place! I will go insane if I stay any longer!" I yelled. I let him go and fell to his feet.

"You haven't been here long enough to take time away. I can't trust that you'll return to me." He said. I let out a sob at his feet and started shaking. I lifted my head and he looked at me with sorrow.

"Please, Aizen-sama! You must let me go! I will return, there's nowhere else for me to stay when I'm like this. Aizen-sama, you have to understand!" I said with my hands together. His facial expression turned shocked.

"I suppose it would be alright. Just be back before next Thursday, it's Tuesday right now. Can you do that." I stood up and nodded once. I got on one knee and bowed to him.

"I can, and I will. Thank you." I said before excusing myself from the room. He turned to Tousen who was confused.

"Why did you let her go, Aizen-sama?" he asked.

"She called me Aizen-sama. She showed me true respect. She is now one of us indefinitely." He said. And he was right; I was stuck there for good- as a slave to Aizen Sosuke.


	11. Chapter 11

I ran out of the court room and straight to my own. I picked up a leather suitcase that was lying in the corner and tossed it on my bed. I ripped open all of my drawers at once and threw a bunch of clothes on my bed. The only thing left, of which I hung on the wall, was my Espada uniform. I packed everything in the small suitcase and smiled to myself.

"Thank god he's letting me go, I would have gone nuts if I stayed her any longer." I said to myself while throwing the black cloak on. I lifted the case and headed out the door, leaving it unlocked for the first time ever.

I waltzed down the hall, wearing something different now. I was wearing the same bottom to my uniform, just with a white skirts and a black shirt instead. For the first time in a long time, I walked down that hall with my head held high. I was…happy. I threw Aizen's doors open and walked up in front of him. He was mid-meeting with the Espada so all eyes landed on me. I looked at Grimmjow and smiled, letting him know I wasn't weirded out or anything. He made a gesture pretending to have a bag and then questioning and I just shook my head.

"Ah, thank you for coming to see me first, Skyler. I see you're ready?" he said while pointing to my bag. I nodded once. "Good, come here I need to give you something." I walked up next to him as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a long necklace. He put it over my head and I moved my hair out from under it. "This will keep a log of how long you've been gone. It's a promise that you will come back, I will know if you remove this. If you remove it or you stay gone past the given time- I'll send someone for you, understand?" he asked.

"This really isn't necessary, but I'll wear it to make you feel better since you're letting me out in the first place." I said while lifting it and looking at it. It had a long silver chain and a three dimensional, diamond shaped, light blue gem on the end of it. I bowed deeply to him and thanked him once more before turning my back to leave the room. I walked over to the Espada table and approached Grimmjow first, who kindly stood up.

"Where the hell you going?" he asked while crossing his arms and furrowing his brow.

"Away for a while. I'll be back." I said while putting a hand on his shoulder. He gave me a disbelieving look and I flicked the hair out of my face.

"I'll be back." I said more serious this time. He nodded once and we embraced for the first time as cousins. We separated and I walked over to Sayzel, Hally, Stark, Nnoitra, and Nel. They all stood and they all put hands on my shoulders. Hally hugged me.

"You can't go! It isn't fair! I need you." she said while burying her face in my shoulder. I put a hand to her back.

"Relax; it's only for a little while. When I return things will go back to exactly how they were." I said as she slipped away. They all started sitting back down, but Sayzel grabbed my hand.

"Wait, I need a minute." He said while I turned to face him. "Come over here." he said while dragging me to the corner. "Alright, I didn't want to tell you this so soon but it can't wait in case anything happens." He said while he took his glasses off and wiped them.

"Look, if it's about Grimmjow- I already know." I said. He stopped wiping and his brow furrowed.

"No, it wasn't that- but it's good that you know." He replied.

"Oh. Then what is it?" I asked. He sighed and put his glasses back on. His eyes got the same softness in them that Hisagi's had whenever he was around me. It hurt to think about.

"Skyler, I've thought this for a really long time now and I never had the guts to say it. Are you ready?" I nodded and he sighed. "I think I love you." he said while blushing. I just gave him a look like 'are you serious?' (O.e) and shifted uncomfortably. I mean, don't get me wrong, I loved Sayzel as a great friend- but I wasn't IN love with him!

"Can I talk to you when I get back? I mean, that's kind of a big deal to throw at me when I'm not going to be here with you." I said while scratching the back of my head.

"I'm going to take that as you don't love me too." He said while looking at the ground. I pulled him into a hug.

"Aw, Pop! Don't look at me like that, it makes me sad. You're great and everything- but I just don't feel the same." I said with sorrow.

"It's okay, don't feel bad- I understand." He said with a fake smile. I hugged him once more before walking back over to the table. I bowed to Aizen for the last time and before walking out, I glanced at the 4th seat Espada. His brows were together and his face looked confused. He looked a little lost, actually. Why was he making me feel so horrible all the time? I looked at him before leaving and felt a great deal of anxiety. I quickly looked away and walked out the door.

As I was walking out, I heard foot-steps running behind me. My face immediately heated up at the thought of it being someone, but then it turned back to its pale white when I heard Hally call my name. I turned around to see her running up behind me holding a small black book.

"Hey, glad I caught you before you left! I wanted to give this to you." she said while holding the book out. I took it and looked at the cover, which was blank.

"What is this?" I asked her while flipping through pages.

"It's a book I think you'll take some interest in. I'm not telling you what it's about or who wrote it- you'll just have to read!" she said as she started walking away.

"This is really sketchy, you know!" I yelled to her as she started running.

"Oh before I forget, make sure you read chapter four! You'll really like that one!" she yelled over her shoulder. I put a hand up to wave and she ran back into the court room.

"Time for an adventure." I said as I tucked the book under my arm and used Sonido to get out of the building. When I was under the night sky, I could see the crater I originally crawled out of. "This is the perfect spot. See you later, Hueco Mundo." I said as I ripped the portal open. I stepped through and was on my way to the next world.

When I stepped back out, I noticed it was still daylight here instead of the black sky in Hueco Mundo. It was a pleasant sight. I walked out while hiding my reiatsu; I didn't want to draw any attention. I noticed that nothing significant had changed since the last time I had been here, which was good. I closed the portal and adjusted my bag that was slipping off of my shoulder. I walked down the street and right into the old shop. When I stepped through the door, the bell attached to the top of the door frame gave a small jingle and I pulled the hood down of my cloak. I walked straight up to the counter and rested my elbows on it waiting for someone to come out of the back room.

"Just as I expected. Like anyone would serve me in my currant state…" I said to myself while lifting the hood of my cloak back up. As I was exiting I heard a small clearing of the throat behind me. I turned to the left slightly and saw him standing there lightly fanning himself.

"Hello there, can I help you, miss?" he said with innocence. I gave out a small sigh.

"I don't know, would you be willing?" I asked while pulling the hood down to reveal myself.

"Ariswana, is that you?" Urahara Kisuke yelled as he took a step back.

"Yeah, yeah don't make a big deal out of it please. I'm here because I need my gigai back- I'm going to the school again." I said while letting out a deep breath.

"You're dead, though. And I mean deader than before! How are you here?" he asked as he closed his fan.

"I got sent." I said while pointing up. "Here, I'll show you." I said as I slipped the cloak off and lifted the black shirt to show him my hole. I moved it down off of the top of my left shoulder to expose the zero tattooed on my back as well. He turned a strange color of white and made a nervous gesture.

"I see. So this is how you managed to escape death, then?" he asked while re-opening his fan and continuing.

"I suppose you could word it like that, though I really wasn't trying to. Aizen infiltrated Soul Society when I was still there and he sent Gin out to kill me. As you can see, he succeeded." I said while fiddling with my nails.

"But you're stronger than he is, how did you die?" he asked.

"Because I was still in love with him. As much as I loved Shuuhei, Gin was always going to be in my heart. Don't worry, that's way over with- he made me do an exotic dance in front of all of Las Noches when Aizen wasn't around." I said as my eye twitched. A small anime sweat drop appeared above his head and he shot behind the counter.

"So you're here for you Fey gigai then? What, are you planning on seeing your sister again? You've died more times than anyone I've ever known- don't you think she's suffered enough? You die again, you'll really never come back." He said while giving me a certain look.

"There are important things I need to tell her. Even if you don't give it to me, I'll only be visible to those who matter anyway." I said while pulling the cloak on yet again. He just shrugged and dug in one of his drawers.

"I had a feeling you would jack the system and come back somehow, so I saved this. You're lucky." He said while handing me my false body.

"Thank you, Urahara-san." I said while bowing. He just waved his hand around and laughed.

"For the record, you're one of the prettiest dead girls I've ever met." He said while giving me a wink. I laughed nervously and walked out of the shop. I slid behind a bush and slipped into my gigai. I then ran as fast as I could over to the school. Oy, I really had to stop dying- these things were so uncomfortable.

I ran past the administration offices this time not caring, and knocked on the door of class 12. The same female teacher I had last year answered and turned pale white when she saw me.

"F-F-Fey?" she yelled while backing up in disbelief.

"Yah, what's up?" I said casually while walking through the door.

"I heard you were dead!" she exclaimed as her voice cracked. I just smirked and shook my head. She excused herself from the room quickly and I walked in so I could face everyone.

As soon as I stepped in the room, I uncloaked my reiatsu and heads shot up at me. I made eye contact with Ichigo first whose eyes shrunk so small I could barely see them and he started sweating. Uryu passed out and Chad just stared with his mouth hanging open. Orihime and Tatsuki fell out of their chairs and lay there. The last person I looked at was my sister, Theresa who had the same expression as Ichigo on her face. I walked over to all of them and while picking up Uryu, I said

"We need to talk- you're excused from class." I said while carrying him out the door over my shoulder. We got out of the building and I sat down on top of a grassy hill while fanning Uryu. He finally came back and when he saw me right above him he just blushed. Everyone else appeared then and they all just sat down and stared at me.

"Okay, when you all look at me like that it gives me the creeps." I said while looking around.

"How are you alive?" Orihime asked.

"When I died that day in Soul Society, I was sent up." I said while pointing up again.

"Up where?" Theresa asked. Ichigo had his arm around her waist to calm her breathing.

"Hueco Mundo- known to you as Aizen's turf." I said while hanging my head. They all looked at each other nervously. "If you're wondering, yes I am serving under him now because I have no choice. Allow me to show you why." I said while standing up and getting out of my gigai. "Do you see the state I'm in?" I asked as their mouths hung agape.

"The only difference I see is that you're paler." Uryu said not understanding. I gave them the same show I gave to Urahara and Theresa put a hand to her head and sunk low.

"So you're against us now?" she asked in disbelief.

"Aizen has to know I would never hurt any of my previous friends. He didn't trust me enough to take this vacation until I showed loyalty. I'm sure he's probably listening now through this thingy anyway." I said while lifting the necklace. "Why do you think I'm not saying anything really specific?" I said while sitting back down.

"Well, no matter the difference you still seem like yourself." Ichigo said while moving closer. They all closed the circle up into a huge hug.

"You know you guys are the best, right?" I said while laughing. They all just nodded and smiled.

"Yeah, we're pretty awesome. So what are you going to do now?" Theresa asked.

"I'm probably going to head up to Soul Society…or at least I want to. I don't know how well that would really go over though." I said while slumping over.

"It'll go over fine if I come with you." Ichigo said while putting a hand on my shoulder. Theresa did the same on the other side.

"It'll go especially well if we all go." She said in a soft voice. I nodded once and my eyes lit up.

"When do we leave?" I asked them. They all popped out of their bodies and into their designated outfits (except for Orihime). We all used Shun-po to get back to Urahara's shop, who nodded and listened to our plea.

"Well, I can't be the judge of how smart it is to bring an Espada into Soul Society, but considering who you are, I wish you luck." He said while flicking the rim of his hat. "It should be ready in a matter of three days." He said while descending the stairs to his training room.

"Three days?" I yelled while sitting on the ground. "Today's already Tuesday; I have until Thursday to get back. By the time we get there, it will already be Friday!" I yelled to them. Chad and Uryu exchanged glances. Uryu pushed up his glasses and kneeled down to my level.

"Calm down, Ariswana- how long do you expect to be there anyway?" he asked.

"I don't know I just really want to see everyone…especially Hisagi. And I'm not Ariswana anymore, the name's Skyler Lester." I said while looking him in the eye.

"Skyler Lester? When did that happen?" Theresa asked from across the room.

"Since I became this monster." I replied icily. The room fell silent, and we all stayed there that night- waiting for the doors back to my past to re-open.


	12. Chapter 12

As she was walking out the door, Skyler took one last glance at me before finally walking out for who knows how long. As Aizen-sama was about to continue speaking, Halibell jumped up and pardoned herself for a short moment. As she ran past me, I swore I saw her carrying my…no it was impossible.

I slumped back in my chair and sighed to myself. Looking around the table at everyone's faces, I noticed that a certain light air had been lifted once Skyler had left. Grimmjow's face was actually serious for once, and Sayzel looked like he wanted to shrivel up and die. As much as I didn't want to admit it, Skyler brought a certain light to this place that no one else ever did…at least until I crushed the light bulb. I didn't want to be like that, but when Sayzel pushed her off of me that one day and had her- I felt a pang within my heart. In fact, the first night we spent in Halibell's room and she sat next to me on the couch- I felt something stirring within my heart…and it was so unsettling.

Halibell came running back into the room and took her seat between Nel and Stark- who proceeded to grab her hand. I wish that I could feel the way she does when she's with Stark, but no one could ever love someone as cold as me- nor could I love anyone.

"Ulquiorra are you listening?" Aizen-sama asked. I looked up at him and nodded once.

"Yes, I was just caught up in my thoughts- I apologize, Aizen-sama." I replied. The meeting ended shortly after that and Aizen-sama beckoned me over to him.

"I have a very important mission for you, Ulquiorra." He said.

"What can I do to be of service?" I replied. He leaned back in his seat and put a hand to his chin.

"I need you to go to the real world and collect a special woman. She has a power I've never seen before and she needs to be on our side." He replied while smiling.

"I will see what I can do." I said before bowing and walking out. While I shuffled to my room, I took a detour down another hall. I walked right up to the door with the black symbol on it, and to my surprise it wasn't locked. I pushed it open and walked into the darkened room. It looked so empty without anything decorating the walls like they used to. When she left, I guess she tried to make the room look horrifyingly empty.

I sat down on her bed and looked at the floor. Halibell wasn't kidding when she said Sky had the best room. I lay back and stared at the ceiling. Feeling slightly nosey, I rolled onto my right side and leaned off of the bed and opened the drawer next to it. After browsing through and not finding anything of interest, I moved to the bottom drawer. I was about to give up and close that one too when an odd looking tan book caught my eye. I lifted it out of the drawer and the front cover had the word '_Journal_' on the cover.

"I really shouldn't…but it's just so tempting." I said to myself as I opened up to the front page.

_It's only been a day here in this hell hole and I'm ready to end it now. If I could find my real salvation in death, I would be willing right now. I would rather die right here than serve under Aizen and fight my friends. There was a peculiar looking character who answered the door for me when I first arrived here, though. I later found out his name was Ulquiorra- he seemed so misunderstood. I just wanted to reach out and touch his face, to let him know there was someone there. He caught my interest immediately and I needed to know more about him._

I closed the book and my eyes widened. I had no idea she felt that way about me right after meeting me. I was so tempted to meet more, but I didn't feel right. What if a secret was laying in there that no one was supposed to see? I would have a guilty conscience…even though I don't care about her. I decided I would skip more toward the middle of the book.

_I'm happy to have made friends here; they make me feel like I belong. I'm glad to see that Ulquiorra stuck around too; maybe I could get to know him better now. We usually speak to each other when I go to Hally's room and it's the best time to listen to his stories. I just wish I understood why he was so sad…_

I skipped ahead further to a more recent date.

_Why does he have to be so cruel? He was the first person I had ever met here and now he's treating me like vermin! I deserve something better than this that's for sure, if Aizen wants me so bad things will have to change or I'll leave…one way or another. Feeling so terrible from the way Ulquiorra treats me…it's just so weird. I don't understand why it impacts me so. My heart feels like it's been torn into a thousand pieces and will never be put together. It hurts so much, if I could stand on top of Las Noches and scream my heart out without anyone noticing- it would be perfect. Just being in this place and feeling so empty makes me long for Soul Society again. I miss Hisagi more than anything right now. I can never forget what I shared with him because I'm still in love with him._

I shut the book and threw it back in the drawer. I closed it and walked out of the room. Hisagi, a Soul Reaper from Soul Society. I knew who he was; he served under Tousen while he was still a captain. Now that I thought about it, I really knew nothing about Skyler before she came here. I know that she was involved with Gin at one point and she was made captain of their squad when he left- but what was her life like? What was she like? What happened to her after he left? She must have been devastated. It didn't matter anyway; I had to keep myself isolated from her at all costs. I didn't recognize the way she made me feel- and that made me vulnerable.

I headed back to my own room while contemplating my thoughts. I never knew she had a log, Aizen-sama had them in our drawers waiting for us when we first got recruited, but her room wasn't even ready yet when she got here. The color of her book was tan, while ours were black. Did she already carry one with her? That must be something we shared in common- writing is what keeps us sane.

I entered through my door after keying in, and decided I would write something in my own log book. I needed to express the way she made me feel- it was unreal, like souls. Souls do not exist though they are spoken of like they are an object you can hold in your hand. It was the same with the heart, though I could feel my own faintly beating.

The drawer opened smoothly and silently as I dug to the bottom in search of my book. I vicariously placed it on the very bottom under a plank of wood that looked as if it was the bottom- a clever plan, if I may say so myself. I pulled up the piece of wood and the bottom of the drawer was…empty?

"What the hell?" I yelled to myself. I tore the drawer out and started digging through it almost destroying it. I moved onto any other drawers in the room and had no luck. I moved to the bed, the dresser, the small closet, and even the small bathroom I had. It was nowhere to be found! The last place I actually took it with me was out of the room and into the dining hall. It had to be there!

I sprinted out of the room and down to the hall. I burst through the doors and started searching frantically. After ten minutes of no luck, I started flipping tables and chairs in a desperate frenzy.

"Uh what are you doing?" I heard a voice behind me. I whirled around to see Halibell sitting on one of the overturned tables with her eyebrow raised.

"I'm searching for something." I said while getting on my hands and knees to look on the ground at a lower level.

"What'ya searchin' for?" she asked while getting down to my level.

"A book." I replied while crawling.

"A _black_ book?" she asked. I shot up and looked at her.

"Yes, have you seen it?" I asked her. She looked in different directions as if looking for escape, then replied.

"I saw it yesterday. It was sitting on one of these tables; I thought nothing of it so I left it there. Is it important? If it was I'm really sorry!" she said while clapping her hands together.

"It's fine." I replied icily while turning my back to her. I shuffled out of the room and back to my own. This was not good- all of my personal thoughts and feelings were bound to that book…some which should never be read. **It could personally damage me…forever.**


	13. Chapter 13

Tomorrow would be the day the gate to Soul Society would open, and it was about 11 at night. I was sitting in one of Urahara's spare rooms for some peace and quiet from all the commotion over tomorrow and I decided I would pick up the book Hally gave me. I sat down on a crème colored recliner that didn't work and turned on the tall lamp next to me. I picked up the book and opened the front cover.

"I wonder if this is a published work, I mean there's nothing on the cover and there's no table of contents or anything…" I said to myself while looking the book over. "Oh well, she said it was good and I trust her judgment." I opened to the front page and noticed it was dated. Was this like one of those personal diaries? Such as the one Anne Frank had? I suddenly became very interested to find out who wrote it. My interest began to peak once I read the first line.

_Hueco Mundo reminded me of the freezing pit that existed in hell. It made me feel like I belonged somewhere, because no one else would really understand. Aizen-sama trusts me most of all the others because I'm the only one who can manage being straight forward. The important tasks are always appointed to me. Though lately nothing of interest has occurred. Halibell has been so gracious as to invite me into their small group of friends and I accepted of course. No one's ever given me the time of day, but she was able. I wouldn't call it kindness more than I would call it pity. Sometimes when I'm alone I begin to think too much and I become isolated from the world. There's no such thing as a Soul, no matter what anyone says._

I put the book down for a second and thought. It sounded like something Ulquiorra would write, but there was no way he would dare keep a log on his thoughts. The off chance of someone finding it, like me, would completely turn him away from it. I would have to keep reading in order to decipher it. Hally said I should read chapter four, and this was a journal- so I decided to skip ahead.

_The strangest thing happened today. I was sent to answer the front door, for Aizen- sama had been expecting someone in particular. As soon as I pushed the doors open, the guards dropped their weapons against…a woman? I was sent as a special request for this woman? How odd. She looked at me with confused eyes, but once she noticed I was friend not foe, her expression softened. I ushered her through the door and she thanked me. _

_ "My name's Skyler Lester." She told me. I then told her my name, since we would probably be working together for a while. She didn't even know what an Espada was, yet she was here? It was the strangest thing- but I decided not to question it out loud. _

_ She was immediately recognized and placed into our small group of 'friends'. I didn't mind so much, she was good company. After a while, a strange feeling began to grow within my lower stomach; I wasn't too sure what it was, but I didn't like it. After a while, I began to have other symptoms of illness such as immediate heating of the face. Most of the time it happened when she was around, so I would rub my face to erase whatever color it turned. I didn't understand this feeling, and it frightened me so I decided I would isolate myself from her. However, after just a week I felt a hole begin to form within myself. Not understanding, I performed some research on my symptoms believing I was ill- but it was so much worse. It turned out that I was…"_

I stopped reading there because someone had walked into the room.

"What are you up to, Skyler?" Yoruichi asked as she tied her long purple hair up.

"Just a bit of light reading, I'm actually heading to bed now. Good night Yoruichi, I'll see you tomorrow morning." I said as I walked past her. She just shrugged and took my seat on the broken recliner.

It turned out that it was Ulquiorra's book. I really didn't expect him to have something like this- I always imagined him as being heartless… I completely forgot about the book once I walked into my room. I was so exhausted from countless days of training and decided to crash as soon as possible. I tucked the book in a black box and shoved it under the bed.

"I need to sleep, I feel like I got run over by a tractor trailer." I said to myself while lying down; and as soon as my ear touched the pillow I was unconscious.

I started to feel as if someone had deliberately taken my book. Whoever did would be getting a special gift from me when I find out who. I was walking toward Aizen-sama's court for he had called me there in urgent. The double doors were opened for me to walk through, and I did so.

"Ah, Ulquiorra, glad you could come on such short notice. That mission I had told you about earlier involving the human woman, the time has come- get ready. You will leave to the human world today as soon as you can." Aizen-sama said with glee.

"Yes, Aizen-sama I will leave now if you so wish." I responded with a bow.

"Excellent, open the portal outside and you'll be on your way." He said while folding his hands. I bowed once more and took my leave.

I stood right outside the building's doors and ripped open the portal with a cracking sound. I took one last glance behind me and then I was off. I had taken the portal many times before so the sensation was nothing new to me. I landed gently in the air of Kurakura town where my target lies in wait. I decided I would take a look around before completing the mission so soon- I needed to gather my thoughts anyway.

I felt a familiar reiatsu overwhelming me and I felt that heated sensation again. It seemed that this was her destination of choice. Hopefully she wouldn't get in the way of my mission. I decided to track the path though, just to see where she was at the moment. I found myself standing in front of an odd little shop and walked right through while keeping my reiatsu hidden. I heard a crash from the basement and walked down the stairs. Staying out of sight, I noticed there was a whole group of people standing in front of a double doored portal.

"Orihime, are you sure up to this?" I saw Skyler ask.

"Of course I am! I'm with you no matter the situation!" Orihime replied with triumph. It looked as though they would head to Soul Society and minute now, and I needed that woman. I decided to counter them later on with my own portal.

The double doors opened and everyone piled through them, Skyler being the last. Before she entered, she turned around and I moved out of her line of vision just in time. When I peered around the rock again I noticed her looking right at me, but I was sure she couldn't see me.

"What's wrong, Sky-chan?" Kisuke Urahara asked her.

"Nothing, I just thought I saw someone is all." She said with sorrow.

"Well, hop in- it won't stay open much longer." He said while ushering her in along with Yoruichi.

"Don't worry, Skyler- you'll be seeing me soon enough." I said with malice as I turned away from the rock and opened another portal to take my leave.


	14. Chapter 14

I ran through the portal alongside Orihime in order to keep her going. I looked her over and was just grateful she wasn't wearing those awkward purple pants again.

I stared forward, we were almost out of the tunnel- luckily we didn't run into any trouble going through there since they all mastered the art of fast movement.

We emerged into the light right in front of the head master's dojo. My reiatsu was still cloaked incredibly well, so there would be no detection until I revealed myself. I pulled the hood of my cloak up to conceal my face and began to hyperventilate. This was a huge moment and I spent no time preparing for it!

Ichigo noticed that my breathing had become uneven and put a steady hand on my shoulder.

"You need to relax, Skyler. It's not like he's going to smite you or something. You've done nothing wrong- all you did was die." He whispered in my ear. Great, that gave me _so _much more confidence. I gave out a deep breath and knocked once on the door as I used to. Two guards opened them, and when they saw Ichigo and the others they let us in without a fuss. I heard the usual word 'enter', and did as I was told. Only Ichigo entered with me and he stood behind me as I bowed over to the head master.

"Kurosaki, Ichigo- who is this young man?" he asked. I grimaced when he said man; this was a woman's cloak! Ichigo snickered and replied-

"See for yourself." He said. I lifted my head and pulled the hood down while unmasking some of my spiritual pressure. He dropped the staff he had laid across his lap and made gasping noises. We made eye contact and my icy blue eyes pierced into his dark ones. I had to admit, ever since I moved to Hueco Mundo, I was much more attractive and my features were displayed better. I spoke while he caught his breath.

"I know what you must be thinking, but you're wrong. I am no traitor- it was just my destiny, it wasn't by choice and you should know that. I needed a serious vacation, and I couldn't stay away. Accept me, Atta." I said to him in a soft voice. Ichigo gave me a quizzical look as I stood up and took my leave.

"What is Atta?" he asked as we walked.

"It means father." I left it at that, I didn't feel like getting into detail about the relationship I had built with the head captain. We walked back to the others who were waiting to hear what happened.

"So, are we allowed to stay?" Orihime asked with suspense.

"I think so, she left the head captain speechless and he hasn't sent anyone out to kill us, so I'm going to say yes." Ichigo replied while putting his hand on the back of his head. "Where do you want to hit first, anyway?" he asked while turning to me. I just smiled to myself.

"I want to do some personal things alright? You guys entertain yourselves for a little bit." I said while jumping away from them. I knew exactly where I was heading, this would be quite interesting.

I decided that I would look around a little bit before I completed my mission. I was curious as to what Skyler was really doing anyway. I found the group in front of the head captain's quarters and noticed Skyler had separated. Looking to my right, I saw her jumping across roof tops. I used my sonido to keep up with her, how was she so fast anyway? Oh well, it didn't matter as long as I could keep up.

She finally stopped in front of a building with the number "9" on the sign above the door. I saw her hesitate, and then she released enough spiritual pressure to alert the guards of that building. There was some chaos inside and the sound of feet running across a wood floor echoed through the area. Someone with black hair and three scars streaked down the right side of his face. I recognized this man immediately- he was the lieutenant under Tousen…Hisagi Shuuhei of the 9th squad. I saw him approach Skyler with caution and I heard her speak.

"You look tired." She said while smiling innocently. As soon as she spoke he ran over to her and embraced her.

"Ariswana, is it really you? This is impossible!" he yelled as tears came to his eyes. This was disgusting behavior, how could she let a man who cried touch her? Did she enjoy this type of emotion?

"My name's Skyler Lester now, I changed it to go with my identity. I'm the same person I swear." She said while pulling away from him. He moved a piece of hair behind her ear and put a hand to her cheek. "How I've missed you." she said in a whisper I could barely hear. Despicable.

"How you've missed me? Are you nuts? I've been running this place on my own without any lady to have for support. I promised myself I would never find anyone like you, so single I'll remain forever." He said with a sad smile.

"Don't be stupid, you know I cannot stay. My allegiance is with Aizen I'm sorry to say. No Espada would EVER be welcome here." she said while moving away from him completely and crossing her arms. She was right about that.

"I forgot. What rank are you?" he asked. She smiled and laughed a little.

"You'll never believe it, but I'm zero." She replied while pulling the top of her dress down a little to show him her shoulder. She turned to him and saw that his eyes had widened. "Are you afraid, Shuuhei-kun?" she asked while putting a hand on top of his head.

"Not anymore." He replied while smiling.

"Good." Was all she said before their lips connected. A strange sensation overtook my body and I slipped a little rieatsu out on accident. Only enough for close people to feel, I hoped no one was near by. I looked over at Skyler and saw her rip away from him and look around frantically. She knew I was here.

"What's wrong, Skyler?" Hisagi Shuuhei asked her.

"You didn't feel that? I felt someone's spiritual pressure nearby…a friend from Las Noches. It's impossible, he cannot be here!" she yelled while putting her hands to her head. I just stared at her as she writhed in confusion. I decided it was time to take my leave and to find that woman…

I knew I felt him. There was no mistaking that the pressure I felt was from Ulquiorra. There was no way he could be here though! Though, I could swear I saw him in Kisuke's basement. No, I decided nothing would ruin this moment for me- it wasn't important enough.

I turned back to Hisagi who was looking at me with an eyebrow raised. I just shrugged and embraced him again.

"You know there's only so long I can stay here." I said in a whisper. I felt his head nodding above me and I shut my eyes while my head rested on his shoulder. "I should find Lucy." I said while pulling back. We grabbed hands and flew off into the distance to find my truest friend of all; the one who I knew missed me the most.


	15. Chapter 15

We arrived in front of the Squad three barracks. I looked at Hisagi who had grabbed my shoulder when I started walking forward.

"The head captain was in a state of shock when you died, so he kind of just appointed Lucy captain immediately. She didn't want it, but she had no choice- so don't be alarmed or anything." He said. I nodded once and moved forward to the door. I kept my reiatsu clouded as I walked through the hall with the familiar wood floor. I saw my old squad members sitting in their little area for luncheon; and when they saw me they all stopped what they were doing. Some of them even dropped trays.

We finally got to the largest door which led to the captain's quarters.

"Let me go first and say something witty so she doesn't suspect something." Hisagi said to me as I let my reiatsu disappear. I nodded once and he entered the room. I heard him call from the inside. "Come in!"

I did as I was told and when I lifted my face to Lucy she looked at though she was going to be sick.

"Who are you?" she asked while slamming her palms on the desk in front of her.

"Skyler Lester, formally known as Ariswana Thompson you big idiot." I said to her while flicking something off of my shoulder. She looked me up and down and her eyes narrowed.

"I don't believe you, this isn't funny. Who are you really?" she asked with malice.

"I'm not going to repeat myself; it's really me if you can believe it. The head captain's a little speechless right now so if you don't mind, I would like to hug you before he kicks me out…if he kicks me out." I said with a sly smile. She let out a small yell and leapt over the desk to hug me.

"It's really you! You're alive! I have a reason to keep going now!" she yelled while pulling away.

"Hey, what about me?" Hisagi yelled while throwing his hands up.

"You don't count, Hisagi- I like her more!" she yelled. All I could do was sit back and laugh at the two of them, it felt good to be here…like the old days. They stopped bickering and looked at me with huge grins.

"How long are you here for?" they asked in unison, then glared at each other playfully.

"Not too long, I'm on a schedule from Aizen- he doesn't trust me THAT much yet." I said. When I spoke his name, they immediately tensed up and exchanged nervous glances. I just sighed and sat down Indian-style on the ground. "Would everyone stop doing that? Jeeze, you all act like I'm evil or something." I said while resting my chin on my hand. They sat down on either side of me and copied my position.

"We know you're not evil, it's just that no one speaks his name here anymore. We feel like its tabooed or something…" Lucy said while shuddering. I just shrugged and got to my feet again.

"Well, I have other places I desperately need to visit, so I'll be back here around 6ish." I said while walking over to the door. Lucy nodded once and embraced me before Hisagi and I took our leave. "I'm going to go on alone from here, I'll see you later." I said before kissing him once more. I headed over to the Squad 6 barracks to visit some old friends…

I saw the woman and her friends split off into different directions. She ran toward the squad 13 barracks and was met halfway by Rukia Kuchiki. I had heard them say they would agree to help each other by helping one another train for the big fight. It would do them no good, they were as good as dead anyway.

I followed them over to a dirt pit where two men had begun to watch them train with grins on their faces. Such pigs these Soul Reapers were. I felt her reiatsu fly by me once more, this time unaccompanied. I decided I would leave my post and follow her for a bit…to get my face to calm down. I really did feel ill.

She ran into a court yard and banged on the front door. A red haired man with tattooed eye brows I recognized at squad six vice-captain, Renji Abarai, answered the door on guard. Once he saw her, he lifted her off the ground and embraced her while shutting the door- blocking my view.

"I can't believe it's really you, Swana!" Renji yelled in my face while spinning me around the room. I was getting really tired of correction people; maybe I would just make a name tag.

"It's Skyler now, I left my identity behind along with my Soul Reaper's body." I responded while he put me down. He hung his head down when remembering what had happened and I put a hand on his shoulder. "It matters not, I'm here now which is what really counts Abarai-san." I said with a smile. He returned it and led me to the captain's quarters. He knocked once on the door and it immediately opened to reveal Byakuya Kuchiki.

"Is this an emergency, Abarai? You know I've been overrun with paper work all day." He said without opening his eyes. Renji tried to hold back a laugh as I washed Byakuya over with my spiritual pressure. His eyes shot open and he immediately grabbed my wrist and threw me into his room while slamming the door in Renji's face.

Immediately put on guard, I got into a crouching position expecting him to attack. He was facing the door and he turned around slowly with his eyes slanted at me.

"Is it really you?" he asked. I nodded once.

"Skyler's the name, but everything else is the same." I said while standing up straight. He walked over to me slowly and stood inches from me.

"How are you alive?" he said coldly while looking down on me. It really grated under my skin when he treated me as an underling- I was a captain once, too. I swipe-kicked his feet so he quickly fell to the ground and then strattled his waist line.

"Don't look down on me, Kuchiki-san. You know how it makes me feel." I said while glaring at him. He went to push me off but by the time he lifted his arm, he was already at his feet with me brushing him off.

"You've improved immensely." He said in a state of shock.

"I know. With this new body, I could destroy worlds." I said while averting his eyes. He lifted my chin to him and then embraced me.

"It is good to see you again, after everything we've been through." And he was right. He was there when I first came to Soul Society and he helped me gain the spiritual pressure I needed to go on. I hugged him back as tight as I could and then wiped the tear away that had escaped my eye. Who would have thought someone so cold could make me ache inside so much? I pulled back and put a hand to his shoulder, of which he did the same to my own.

"I'm here until Thursday, and then I return. Do not become attached again, Byakuya, for I fear it will be dangerous for us both in the end." I said while removing my hand and departing from his room. I stepped outside and lifted Renji from his sitting position. Renji was the one I needed to thank the most; he was the first Soul Reaper I had ever seen in my life- even when I was alive. He made sure my sending would bring us together in the next life, and without him I wouldn't be standing there. I embraced him and told him I would be there until Thursday, and then departed once more.

She came barreling out of the court yard and ran to the west. I followed her once more, taking in the scent coming from her body- it was intoxicating and I immediately regretted following her. She ran into the Squad 11 barracks and I decided now would be the time to make my move. If I were to complete my mission undetected from the others, she would surely realize before them…that way she could come home.

I burst through the squad 11 doorway and fought off all the over-eager newbies to get to the friends I once had. I sprinted through the dojo to the fifth seat's room and ripped right through the personal screen, I couldn't contain the excitement in my heart any longer. Yumichika stood up and immediately went to attack me, but I disarmed him and tackled him to the ground.

"YUMICHIKA! I've missed you so much!" I yelled while rolling around the ground with him. It took him a minute to realize who I was, but when he did he stood up and lifted me with him in a bridal style position.

"I'm not even going to ask how you managed to live through this one. You always surprise me, my lady." He said with a smile plastered on his face.

"For future reference, my name is Skyler now- not Ariswana." I said while getting down.

"Well, that's a shame because your name was as beautiful as your face…however this one seems to have a pretty ring to it too." He said while linking arms with me and marching to the third seat's room.

After reuniting with Ikkaku, Kenpachi, Yuchiru, and Rangiku who happened to be visiting those quarters there, I was ready to head back to Hisagi and Lucy. Everyone I had gone to see were trailing behind me for old time's sake, except when we got to the pond Lucy was wearing her captain's robes and Hisagi was wearing his Vice-captain's band.

"We've got bad news, Sky." She said solemnly.

"What is it?" I asked immediately on alert.

"Orihime's been kidnapped by an Espada." Hisagi said while Lucy put a comforting hand on my forearm. The only word I could conjure up was:

"No."


	16. Chapter 16

How did I know my happiness couldn't exist anymore? I could have guessed immediately who the chosen Espada was, but I decided to double check in case I was wrong.

"Do we have any details on who it was, Lucy-san?" I asked while crossing my arms over my chest.

"Not exactly, her reiatsu disappeared and her escorts were killed in combat when they tried to protect her. This was an Espada with a mission." she responded. As soon as she said that I was sure it was him. He would be the only one who would want to come here on this mission now and ruin my life. He was lower than dirt in my eyes now, so why did it hurt so much to hate him?

"Come, the head commander has called for a meeting…and he wants you to be there for it." Hisagi said while adjusting his sword. I nodded once and we all used our Shun-po to get to his office. Lucy opened the double doors and calmly walked over to the position that I once held. Hisagi and whoever else was trailing behind me walked to their specified regions as well. This meeting called for captains and vice captains and as soon as those who weren't familiar saw me they immediately began to point fingers.

"She's the one who brought this war on us early! Kill her and maybe they'll understand we mean business!" they all began to yell as I drew my sword and got into the ready stance. As they were all about to charge at me we heard the slamming of a staff against the wooden floor and everyone was called to order.

"There will be no attacking against our own here, there's no need for that now!" the head captain yelled. Everyone immediately fell to the floor in a bow, including myself. When I rose I walked right in front of him and stared him in the eyes. Without anyone's preparation I threw my arms around him and hugged him with all of my might.

"You don't know what it's like out there, Genryusai-sama. I never know what to do when I'm on my own without you." I said in a quiet voice filled with emotion. No one knew how to react throughout the whole room. They all knew about my fatherly relationship with the captain commander, but they've never been exposed to it before. I let go and nodded to him once while backing away from everyone else's reach. I didn't belong here no matter how badly I wanted to come back. This wasn't my place to be here anymore…so why was I here?

"You've all been summoned here on account of the kidnapping of Orihime Inoue. This occurred right under our noses and our forces weren't strong enough to do anything about it." He said with his eyes closed and his hands placed over his staff.

"Have we received any information about the Espada who did this?" I asked with a dark tone that sent shivers down everyone's spines.

"We had Captain Kurotsuchi Mayuri of the twelfth division investigate the area for any suspicions or traces and he was able to trace the Espada's reiatsu." Yamamoto said with ease.

"And? Who was it?" I asked with edge. Maybe it wasn't him after all, it could have been my hot headed cousin for all I knew!

"It was proven that the one who took Orihime Inoue was Aizen's fourth seat, Ulquiorra Schiffer." He said in response. I couldn't help but let out a small moan of pain when my suspicions were proven to by accurate. Everyone in the room looked at me with confusion as I began spiraling. I threw my hands on either side of my head and gritted my teeth together while deep breathing. I couldn't take it anymore; he had ruined my life for long enough now. I let out a huge yell:

"NO MORE! This isn't going to happen anymore! No matter where I die, no matter what after life chooses me I can never be happy!" I yelled while letting the tears stream down my face. It was painful for me to finally be releasing the pent up emotions within myself. I opened my eyes and looked around the room to see a lot of concerned eyes and a lot of suspicious eyes. "Please, continue." I said through breaths.  
>"We'll be sending two captains and Ichigo Kurosaki's group has volunteered to retrieve the girl and to take down some of Aizen's forces." He said again as though nothing happened.<p>

"NO!" I cut him off mid- sentence and his eyes shot open and looked at me directly for the first time. "This just became personal." I said with dark eyes as my hair fell in my face. Everyone looked at me nervously and I could see Ukitake shudder at my cold presence. "Please, don't make me do anything I could regret later, Yamamoto-san." I said while bowing on one knee. I heard him grunt and slam his staff gently telling me to rise.

"You will go first, but expect forces to meet you there in the near future. I will trust you won't be telling your new leader, however?" he asked me.

"What do you take me for? Of course I won't tell him. He may own my body and my soul, but he can never own my mind and spirit." I said while shaking my head.

"This is your mission. Now, go!" he yelled. I nodded once and whipped out the door with my shirt flowing out behind me. I ran as fast as I could to the gate of Soul Society and when the guard looked like they would give me trouble I just kicked them each in the nose and leapt over the huge gate. This new body of mine really worked wonders for me. I quickly ripped a portal open and was once again on my way back to the sandy hell of which I now called home…

I walked out of the portal and my hair was immediately whipped into my face with the strong winds of a brewing sandstorm. It was only Tuesday and I was depressed that I needed to leave on such a short notice. I looked at myself in a nearby puddle and decided it would be wise if I changed back into my Espada Uniform. I remembered the giant Zero tattooed on my skin forever and it made me cringe away. My hole was now in my lower back and there it would most likely remain for the rest of my life. Once dressed in the appropriate garb, I looked back into the puddle at myself- Skyler Lester. I now looked nothing like Ariswana Thompson and I would never return to that form. I splashed the puddle onto the sand.

I arrived at the front of Las Noches in no time at all and was welcomed through the door once the guards saw the look on my face. I walked sternly through the halls while containing my reiatsu so no one expected my presence again, though I was positive Aizen must have felt me arrive in the sands. I traced the reiatsu and realized everyone was in meeting. I smiled evilly to myself and approached the throne room where they all sat at their long table to the left of the large, brightly lit room. As I grew closer and felt the reiatsu, it also dawned on me that I felt the small pressure coming from Inoue, Orihime. When I felt her tiny spiritual pressure locked away in a tiny room where she's been destined to the same fate as me, it infuriated me beyond belief.

I approached the double doors and by the time I was there I was so angry I could destroy this entire building. I slammed them open and stormed forward. I threw my finger right in Aizen's direction and I started hyperventilating again.

"This…this is just too much!" I yelled and then snapped my teeth shut once more out of anger.

"Why, whatever are you talking about dear Skyler?" he said with a smug smile.

"I'll come up there and I'll rip that Godamned smile right off of your face!" I yelled while putting a hand on the hilt of my sword. I removed it faster than I had placed it there when I thought of everyone else's allegiance to him. I took fast, deep breaths to attempt to calm myself but when I looked to the right in my peripheral vision I saw him sitting there. He had no expression, as always. Nothing there to tell me he was sorry. Nothing there to tell me he even cared. His eyes were like two knives stabbing into my flesh. I hated him with everything I had.

"You…how could you follow me?" I yelled while running up to him and grabbing him by the collar. He attempted to break himself free but I released so much spiritual pressure it had everyone in the room frozen aside from Stark and the three majors.

"I didn't follow you, I was sent on a mission." he said in a choked voice since I was cutting off most of his airway. "A mission to retrieve the girl."

I glared down at him. How did that give him any right to spy on me at the same time? He was there when I was with Hisagi and he saw everything. I would never see him again so I had to leave something behind for him to hold onto…but I didn't want Ulquiorra to see that. I let him go and I walked to the other side of the court room while putting my hand in front of my mouth. I turned back to Aizen with fire in my eyes.

"Don't tell me you only let me go to ensure the security of this plan. Please tell me it was some kind of coincidence." I said with a shaky voice.

"It was coincidence, your absence just made it that much easier to retrieve the girl. I promise you there will be no harm ensued on her as long as you both cooperate." He said grimly. "And I am sorry your vacation was cut a little short." He responded again with a sly smile. I hated him and I hated everyone in this entire part of the world. I walked out of the room and I heard Hallibel's chair screech as she went to follow me and I turned around and snapped at her.

"Leave me!" and then used sonido to get back to my room. I threw the bag down on the bed and ripped my uniform off. I threw on black jeans and another black shirt again. I needed to look as close to a shinigami as possible, it was who I really was. I ached for my other life and I ached to live with my sister again- she was the only one who mattered in my life anymore. No…I wasn't a shinigami…I was a godamn human.


	17. Chapter 17

For some reason whenever I post my stuff my little (***) gets removed and that was used to show different POVs, so I hope nothing is too confusing! Sorry!

I stared at myself in the mirror once I was finished. There was makeup running down my face from my reddened eyes and there was a small tear in the knee of my jeans. How was it possible for one person to change lifestyles so quickly without even a warning? There had to be something better for me out there- I just needed to believe it. I wiped my eyes off and sat in the middle of my bed and hugged my knees close to my chest. How could I feel so much affection for a person I hated with everyone cell in my body? As I was slowly drifting into sleep, I remembered something that lingered in the small pocket of my bag- a black diary. I got up from my spot and stalked over to my pack of which was sitting on the ground. I lifted the book out of the pocket and shuffled back to my spot on the bed. I flipped open to the last page I had read and I planned on continuing on:

"_Not understanding, I performed some research on my symptoms believing I was ill- but it was so much worse. It turned out that I was in love with her. I shudder at the thought of this measly, human emotion- but I could do nothing about it. From the moment I lay eyes on Skyler I knew there was something special about her. She brought a kind of light into my world that I never could have imagined would be lit. I needed to be close to her, I would go insane if I wasn't."_

I was speechless. There was nothing a person could say to something like that. This had to have been a lie, there's no way he could feel like that after the way he's been treating me…maybe there was more to this story than I knew; I decided to read on.

"_She has been growing closer to Grimmjow since she had found out about their long lost relationship. It's good for her to know there's someone here for her when she was all alone…but not all alone, she had me. She spends so much time with us in Halibell's room and I've gotten to know her much more, and I've fallen deeper than ever before. Someone like me who's so cold on the inside, and someone as warm and gentle on the inside as she is could never be together. I would constantly bring her down, and I didn't need that since she was the only thing that ever made me happy- though I could tell something was going through her head as of late. Her smile is dulling, and I'm afraid."_

He did notice there was something wrong when I thought he didn't care. I needed to read further on because as far as these entries were going he was still being descent to me.

"_I was walking down the hallway today when I heard her laughter slowly approaching behind me. She was with Grimmjow according to the reiatsu, but when I had just recognized it both of their pressures disappeared. Out of nowhere, she dove right on top of me and refused to get up. I wasn't complaining, I highly enjoyed it myself- however my perfect moment was ruined when Sayzel leapt onto her out of nowhere. I've known how he's felt about her since the first time she gave him that stupid nickname, and I didn't like it. I didn't want to risk the small spark of happiness in my heart for someone like him. When he landed on top of her and she responded so gently, I couldn't take it anymore I had to walk away. It was then I knew that I could never get away with feeling like this and that I didn't deserve it, and neither did she. I didn't trust this feeling and I had to space myself as far apart from her as I could…even if that meant hurting her."_

It was all clear to me now, he didn't really hate me- he actually loved me. He wasn't used to these kinds of feelings so he had to hide them away with hatred! On the inside my heart was fluttering like mad, but on the outside my face stayed completely blank. This wasn't fair to me at all; he could have killed me when Gin was in charge- that doesn't seem like love to me.

I put the book down and stared at my ceiling with my hands folded over my chest. To think that he actually returned my feelings for him…what to do now though? At this point I was pretty convinced those feelings were gone and it was just pure hatred for me, but I could be dead wrong also. I decided to jump off the cliff and take a chance; I stood up and looked in the mirror, I decided to change back into my Espada uniform before going anywhere.

I walked slowly through the winding corridors while attempting to come up with some strategy on how I could possibly approach this, it seemed pretty impossible. Before I knew it, I was subconsciously knocking at the door with the green symbol on it. When I realized what I had done, I immediately started to hyperventilate, but once no one answered I was set at ease. Feeling bold, I slowly opened the door even though I had no idea whether he was in there or not. I poked my head through the little crack and noticed he was fast asleep in the center of his mattress. I slowly approached him, attempting not to make a sound and I just stood over him and watched him sleep.

"You've put me through so much hell and I never understood why. How come you couldn't just tell me? It would have been so much easier than all of this…" I said while trailing off. I looked to his left side and noticed there was a small amount of space where one more person could just squeeze in there.

I slowly climbed in next to him so I wouldn't wake him and I just lay there facing him for a short time. I accidentally let out a small bit of reiatsu escape without paying much attention to it and he immediately tensed up and stopped breathing.

"Relax, I'm not going to bite you." I said in a soft whisper. His eyes slowly opened and stared right into my own.

"What are you doing in my bed, you filth?" he said in a bored tone. I could tell that even he was sick of playing this act with me.

"I don't know, I got lonely and decided that I needed a nap." I said while creating the fakest yawn in the world. "Is that such a crime, Ulqui-Chan?" I asked while smiling a little. I noticed his face immediately heat up, except this time he didn't try to rub it away. Seeing this change in his behavior, I moved in a little closer. He didn't stop me. I continued to move closer to him until our noses were touching.

"What's happened to you?" he asked me while his brow furrowed.

"I got tired of lying." I said before closing the space between us. It was in that moment that I realized there was something I could wake up and look forward to everyday, I was in love with Ulquiorra Schiffer and part of me knew that he loved me too. He kissed right back and I didn't plan on stopping anytime soon. It felt like hours that I lay there next to him, not saying a word. He had his arms wrapped around me and I felt complete again, and I knew he did too. He deserved this feeling more than anyone in Hueco Mundo- he had always seemed so alone. I looked up at him after a long time and he stared right back down at me.

"I have your book." I said simply. He nodded once and put my head back to his chest.

"I had a feeling you did. I was hoping this would be the result of that, too- I didn't want to have to come to my senses before you realized what was actually going on." He said while tapping a small rhythm on my back. I just smiled and buried my head into his chest while we slowly dozed off into a comfortable sleep; this time I could dream and I would be so alone the next time I woke up.


	18. Chapter 18

Sorry that I have at least one obnoxious typo per chapter -.-

It was as if I were walking in a dream. To go from sworn enemies with this man to being in love with him so quickly almost gave me a heavy case of whiplash. Though I knew I was in love deep within my heart, I would have never been caught dead admitting it to the rest of the world. But there I was in the middle of the Hally's room sitting on his lap and explaining to them exactly what had been going on for the span of time I had been there. A slight blush never crept off his face the entire time and I loved every second of it. This time he didn't try to wipe it off, and I felt he never would again. When everything had settled down, I slid off his lap and turned to him with a smile.

"You seem to strike me as human more and more as time goes on. Your skin's more red than milk white right now, Ulqui-chan." I said with a slight giggle while all he did was give me a glare from hell.

"I do no wish to be compared to humans, Skyler. That's not the type of life I could ever wish to lead." He said simply while staring me dead in the face.

"It's not as bad as you all make it out to be. Emotions are a beautiful thing, and although tragedy may be a result it's all worth it in the end because you learn from your experiences." I said while staring at the ceiling with a blissful smile spread across my lips. He just took my hand in his and left it at that. Everything had improved since that day, aside from one thing.

"Sorry, Skyler but I have to go do my duty. I'll be back in a moment, don't move" he said to me as he stood to leave the room. Grimmjow glared at him the whole way because he still didn't forgive him for the way he treated me originally. I stood as well and slinked out the door behind him while hiding my reiatsu. I snuck behind him all the way down the hall as he approached the door with a small tray of food. I crept next to it and put my foot in the way so it wouldn't close. I flew in behind him and hid in the shadows to watch him do his work.

"You need to eat this food otherwise I will be back later to shove it down your throat myself. I don't think you want that, now do you?" he said in a monotone voice.

"They're coming for me, just you wait. I'm sure Ariswana is plotting against you at this very moment too." Orihime responded while glaring at the window.

"I wouldn't doubt if she was, she's the most rebellious woman I've ever encountered. But I'm sure she'd do nothing that could damage her friends here- in case you haven't noticed she wouldn't do anything against Aizen's will as long as I'm content with it because she is in love with me." Ulquiorra responded with a small grin. Even though he was a heartless jerk to her, I loved to see him smile.

"Well, even so I know she'll help me in the long run. I mean, do you love her back?" she asked while turning to look at him.

"You can't honestly ask me this question. You think I can love anyone who used to be a human? It's preposterous. Never speak that way to me again, now eat the food or I'll come back and cut you open to insert it into your soul." He said coldly while exiting the room.

"Orihime, I've been here the entire time don't be afraid." I barely said from the shadows. She jumped a little, but from being here for so long she was ready for anything.

"Ariswana, do you really love that heartless man?" she asked me as I crawled over on to the sofa.

"Well, I have to admit that I do. And we have become a couple but I don't know why he told you otherwise. It really hurt to hear- but anyway you don't have to worry, because no matter who I fall in love with, I'll always be there for you guys first and my allegiance will never lie with Aizen." I said while putting a finger through a strand of her hair. She just shrugged and I told her I had to go back so he wouldn't think something was up. We bid farewell and I walked out the door. As I was shutting it behind me, I heard someone clear their throat and I looked to the right of the frame and realized Ulquiorra had been standing there.

"You know I don't like it when you hear me confront her. I have to be like that otherwise she won't listen unless she's got some kind of fear inside." He said while approaching closer.

"Yeah, well you can walk back to Hally's on your own because apparently you don't love me either." I said to him as I turned my back. He caught up quickly, though.

"You know I didn't mean that, I was just trying to prove the point that I'm an Espada and we're not supposed to have emotions." He said in a pleading voice.

"It sure sounded convincing to me!" I yelled as I pushed him a little bit.

"Come off it, you know it wasn't real- you read the damn diary you know my true feelings. I try to show them the best I can, but you know it's hard for me." He responded.

"Yeah, yeah whatever." I said while sticking my tongue out playfully. He just slinked his arm around my waist and I did the same to him. I couldn't be happier with anyone else, to be honest. I smiled to myself and then to him. He looked down and returned the favor as best he could even though it looked more as if he were in pain- I appreciated it anyway. We entered Hally's room once more and when we sat down and looked around we noticed everyone had turned milk white.

"What's the matter?" I asked in a dark voice. Hally turned to me first but couldn't get the words out in enough time. Grimmjow got up and moved a little bit closer and looked Ulquiorra and I dead in the face.

"I don't know how it happened…but Aaroniero is dead." He said coldly. The only response I could come up with at that point was:

"That's impossible!"


	19. Chapter 19

"It's completely possible, and it happened." Said Grimmjow as he angrily walked back over to his chair.

"Who could have done this?" I asked again as Ulquiorra just stared at the floor.

"Word is that girl Rukia Kuchiki ended him when he made the mistake of transforming into her lost love." Nel responded.

"Kaien? He took the face of Kaien Shiba? How dumb could you get?" I yelled as I stood and threw my hands in the air. Everyone stayed silent waiting for it to register with me.

"Wait a minute…if Rukia's here…then so are the others. How many are there? What's their goal? They're definitely up to something." I said all in a blur as I paced back and forth.

"Our guess is that they're here to rescue that woman and take down whoever they can in the process." Grimmjow responded. I walked over to the window and stared out.

"Ichigo…what the hell are you thinking coming to this place? You know I can't help you." I said to myself with sorrow. If I went against Aizen's will now after he just gained my trust he would kill me immediately. I would become target number one and I can't afford to let that happen when there's a war going on.

"What should we do?" Hally asked the room as she linked her arm with Starks.

"We do nothing." I said as I turned around. "What's Aizen's plan now that Aaroniero bit the dust?" I asked. They all exchanged nervous glances.

"Well, the plan was to send someone else to that exact location to terminate Kuchiki." Stark responded. My blood ran cold and I let my eyes widen for a split second.

"Who are they sending?"

"Zommari." It took all of my energy not to start screaming. Knowing Rukia's powers she was in no condition to fight anyone right now- and Zommari was much stronger than Aaroniero.

"I'm going to survey the fight- she might have backup." I said before using my fastest sonido to get there. I practically teleported there with how fast I was going. "Oh Rukia please be okay." I said as I ran to the door. I walked in the room and saw Byakuya standing over Zommari's body as he disappeared, Rukia was bleeding out on the floor.

"Byakuya! Thank god you're here." I said as I walked closer. He raised his sword at me and glared. "Please, I came here to help Rukia I thought she was in trouble." I said as I dropped my sword and raised both hands. He didn't believe me and he jabbed me with the blade.

"Why should I believe dirt like you?" he asked me. I reached into the Espada uniform and pulled out the blue necklace Aizen had given me to use when I was out of his presence.

"You should believe me because this is the only thing keeping me here. God, Bya-kun if I could leave this hell hole I'd jump on your back and go through that portal in an instant." I said to him while leaving the necklace out of the uniform.

"I'll have to take your word for it." He said while putting his hand to my cheek. I closed my eyes and smiled.

"You forgot about the mission that was given to me, didn't you?" I asked him with a grin.

"Mission?"

"When I came to Soul Society, the head captain sent me back to start the process. You really thought I would betray you all?" I asked with a hurt tone.

"I apologize." He said while putting a hand on my shoulder. I touched his hand and then my face turned even whiter than usual.

"You killed him…oh no. What am I going to tell the others?" I asked him. "You need to cut me." I told him with a dead serious expression.

"You want me to…cut you with my sword?" he asked with a shocked expression.

"You absolutely have to, otherwise I'll probably be blamed and killed for conspiring against my leader." I said with a wink. He shrugged and raised his sword. He brought it down across my chest deep enough to work but light enough not to hurt me too much- he then cut my right bicep.

"I wish you hadn't made me do that to you." he said with sorrow.

"Oh please, this will heal in a day- thank you!" I said before I kissed him on the cheek and took my leave. I flew through Hally's window after smearing some dirt on myself and tearing up some of my clothes.

"Sky! What the hell happened to you?" she yelled when she saw me land on her floor out of breath.

"No good, Zommari's dead. He was killed right as I got there." I said pretending to be exasperated.

"Who did it?" Ulquiorra asked solemnly.

"Kuchiki Byakuya- you couldn't tell from my wounds? Even seeing who I was he didn't stop- and he won't. He went to protect Rukia." I fake coughed and landed on my knees. "It's over for me. There's no turning back to that life now." I said with a false sadness to my eyes.

"Are you alright?" Ulquiorra asked as he kneeled down beside me to check my wounds.

"I'm fine, these will heal in a day or less." I said while getting to my feet again and wiping the dirt off my face.

"You worried me with the way you flew back in here." he responded while wiping dirt off my face.

"Don't you worry, I'm the best I've ever been." I said with a sincere smile. I walked to the nearest bathroom and washed my face off. As I was running the water over my face I heard a voice from one of the stalls.

"You're a liar." I heard a whisper from behind one of the doors. I whipped around as the water kept running and looked around. I dove to the ground and looked for some kind of shoes or feet under the doors and there was nothing. I shrugged it off and went back to washing the dirt.

"I saw you kiss Kuchiki Byakuya's cheek." I slammed the water off this time, and I was pissed. I kicked down the first door and hurt a slight giggle.

"Hehe, wrong door!" I kicked the next one in and no one was there.

"You're getting warmer." I kicked the next one and no one was there again.

"One left." The voice got darker than before. I kicked the last one in and there she was: Sun-Sun.

"Good choice, bitch." She said before going to kick me. I grabbed her foot and slammed her head against the wall.

"You're really going to play this game with me, bitch?" I asked her as she was trying to regain herself. "If you think you're escaping this bathroom…you're dead fucking wrong." I said to her. I lifted my fist and pounded it into her skull.

"You're going to pay for this!" she said through tears as blood poured from her nose.

"Oh yeah? Try me!" I yelled before shoving my fist through her head and onto the floor. "Shit, that's disgusting." I said as I shook my hand off. I continued washing and I left her lying in her bloody mess on the bathroom floor. I was about to walk out of the room until I realized what I had done…she was Hally's prized fraccion. I used my sonido to get back to the room and burst through the door.

"We have a serious problem!" I yelled while sweating.

"What is it?" Grimmjow yelled while getting to his feet.

"This doesn't apply to you, Grim…Hally you need to come with me right now." I said as I extended my hand to her.

"What's the matter, Sky?" she asked me in fear. I didn't answer but when we reached the bathroom I turned to her.

"Have you been keeping track of your fraccion?" I asked her.

"Not really, they annoy the living crap out of me- why?" she asked getting skeptical.

"You might want to prepare yourself for this…it's brutal." I warned her. We walked in and Sun-Sun was still lying in the pool of blood I left her in.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE?" Hally yelled in complete horror as she crouched down over her corpse.

"I don't know, I was washing and I saw blood creeping from under the door and when I opened it she came flopping out and I freaked and came to get you." I said to her with regret. She looked so sad, I was filled with so much regret for making her feel like this.

"What kind of monster would want to do this to her? She was the most innocent out of all three of them!" she yelled while touching the only clean part of her head. I leaned down and put a hand to her shoulder.

"Don't look any longer, I'll go tell Aizen." I said to her after walking back to her room. I walked there on my own after turning down everyone's offers to escort me. The double doors opened up by the guards and my eyes met Aizen's.

"Ah, Skyler- I'm sure you heard about the chaos that's been occurring. What brings you to me?" he asked as I leaned down on one knee to show my fake allegiance.

"I have even worse news than the deaths of the two Espadas. Halibell's Fraccion, Sun-Sun was brutally murdered with no remorse. There's blood all over the bathroom around the corner from her room." I said while looking into his eyes directly.

"Define brutally murdered." He said as his expression turned dark.

"I mean like there's blood splattered everywhere." I said while turning pale.

"This isn't good. Although it's not as important as Espadas being destroyed, this will harshly weaken Halibell. Is she still useful?" he asked.

"Of course she is! She's extremely strong- her Fraccion don't decide whether she's useful or not." I said while getting to my feet.

"Then there's no issue. Gin, go clean up the mess." He said to him. I looked at Gin and saw that he looked like he'd been brutally beaten; I hadn't seen him since the night he had me whipped. He looked directly at me as he walked by.

"I'm not giving up on you yet, I still love you." he said as he slowly stalked by. I just shook my head and dismissed myself from Aizen's presence. I walked slowly back to Hally's room and when I arrived everyone was gone except for her, Grim, and Stark. Stark had his arm around her shoulders and she was crying so hard it hurt me. Grim looked at me and I smiled lightly. I sat down next to her and put my hand on her upper thigh.

"I just saved your ass." I said to her and she looked at me.

"What do you mean?" she asked through sobs.

"Aizen asked me if you were still useful and I obviously said yes- because you're so powerful. He thought you'd be so broken by this loss that it would completely destroy your spirits and kill your passions." I said to her while I tussled a piece of her hair.

"Aizen-sama wanted to do away with me?" she asked with her eyes widened.

"He would have, but I know you're still the same girl I knew. You've still got two other fraccion to stand by your side because even when they're grieving they owe their allegiance to you." I said to her with pride. Grimmjow came over and started massaging my shoulders because he saw that I was on the braking point. I was about to start freaking out because I almost just cost Hally her life in order to protect myself and the plan. She meant the world to me and I almost killed her. I almost killed my best friend.


	20. Chapter 20

I ran through the halls as fast as I could. I could sense that Uryu and Renji were close. I could feel the presence of the two Fraccion Nel introduced me to next to them as well…I couldn't sense Nel anywhere though. I hadn't seen her in days…maybe even months! How could she go unnoticed! I just prayed she was alright, along with the other two.

"Skyler, where are you running to so fast?" I heard the familiar voice behind me. I whirled around to see Ulquiorra with the same solemn expression plastered on his face.

"I'm starving. I need food NOW!" I yelled as I was about to continue. He used his Sonido to get in front of me and put a hand on my shoulder to stop me from going anywhere.

"I'm not daft. You can't even eat in this form- where are you going?" he said with a colder tone this time. I sighed and removed his hand from my shoulder.

"I'm heading over to where Uryu and Renji are. I'd rather be the one to deal them death than have anyone else here go against them." I said with a saddened tone.

"You actually expect me to believe that?" he questioned.

"Yes, I do actually. You're supposed to trust me." I said as I moved in closer to him. I felt him tense under my touch and I pulled away. "What's the matter with you?" I asked with hurt in my eyes.

"I apologize, but everything that's been going on here has put a lot of pressure on me. I am Aizen-sama's prized Espada and I will need to make serious sacrifices at some point in order to protect everyone." He said while putting his fingers to his temple. I stood on my tip toes and kissed him softly, but quickly.

"Don't worry so much, alright? Everything's going to be fine!" I yelled with confidence before speeding past him. I used my sonido to go the rest of the distance so that no one would be able to keep up. I stopped short in my path when I felt another reiatsu come into the picture. "POP!" I yelled as I sped up even faster than I was going before. I reached the room where I saw Uryu and Renji standing there facing my beloved Pop. Three of my best friends were about to have a face off and I could do nothing about it without blowing my cover or looking like a traitor! Once I arrived in the doorway everyone's attention was turned to me.

"Sky! What are you doing here? You need to get out of here!" Pop yelled with his arms flailing.

"Ariswana? What are you doing here? I wasn't expecting to meet with you on my journey here. You should leave; I can't bring myself to fight you." Renji said while a sweat drop formed on his upper temple.

"Ariswana! You have to get out of here; I can't bare to see you in possible danger. We'll talk once we win this fight!" Uryu shouted over to me. My facial expression didn't change. It was a cold look from the very beginning.

"How about this, how about none of you fight and you two go home. The time hasn't come for this yet." I said while pointing to Renji and Uryu. They both looked shocked at my remark and Pop looked as if he were melting.

"Why would we go home? We're here to rescue Orihime, don't you want to see her safe?" Renji asked.

"Of course I do. But now isn't the time, give it up for now guys. I can't bear to know this fight is going on." I said with tears starting to form.

"You mean to tell me that you're friends with this loser?" Renji said while angrily pointing to Pop.

"You make friends in awkward situations. He is one of mine and so are you two- please don't do this." I was ready to get on my knees at this point if it would stop them.

"If you've made friends with the enemy, then you're no friend of mine." Renji said before taking his fighting stance. Uryu even turned away from me with regret in his eyes. That killed me and I slowly walked out from the battle. My heart sank and I knew I could never be forgiven by either of them.

I wandered through the empty halls of people wondering what the outcome would be. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and I bumped right into Ulquiorra. I blushed from embarrassment when he turned around and smiled a little.

"Where have you been?" he asked even though he knew full well where I was.

"Cut the crap, I know you sensed where I was." I said with remorse. He looked down at me with sadness in his eyes and he put a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"I never understood so many human emotions before I met you. Now they just won't leave me alone. I don't know what's happening to me." He said while staring at the hand on my shoulder.

"You're becoming more human by the minute the longer you hang around me." I said with a light smile. "Don't be afraid of it, it's nothing to be ashamed of. Emotions are fun, Ulquiorra." I said while wrapping my arms around his waist. I was relieved when he didn't tense up this time.

"I hate it when you compare me to humans. They're just gutter trash who do nothing but stuff their faces and drive around in those strange machines all day."

"Automobiles."

"Yes, whatever they are, they are useless to me. Emotions are useless to me. The only emotion I've ever experienced and didn't mind was that dreaded L word." He said while placing a hand on my back. I pulled out of his grasp and looked him dead in the eye.

"That dreaded L word is what was just holding me in your arms. If you can't say it to me, then why am I wasting my time?" I said.

"You know that I have no trouble saying it when I speak with you. However, when I am speaking in general it is just so painful to me to think I have sunk so low." He looked down at me and noticed that I had walked away from him. He ran up behind me and tried to grab my wrist but I pulled away too quickly and sprinted away from him leaving a trail of tears behind me.

I ran up to the room with the light blue symbol on it and knocked three times. Grimmjow opened the door and when he noticed it was me he smiled.

"What brings you here, cuz?" he asked as I walked through his doorframe and plopped down on his bed.

"Nothin' I just feel like you're the only one I can really talk to anymore. Everyone else here either says something ridiculously stupid or they break my heart…or both." I said as I let my hair fall into my face. He sat backwards in a chair across from me and sighed.

"It seems like someone's always doing something to you. Your life is way to overcomplicated for me to handle." He said with a light chuckle. He looked back at me and noticed I was glaring at him and had a pillow in my hand. "I swear if you even think about it…" I threw it at his face and he flopped out of his chair. I leapt on top of him and held my elbow over his throat.

"You know you're losing your touch, Grim." I said with a slight smile. He just snarled and threw me off of him. He flipped me off and I sat back on his bed.

"So what happened anyway?" he asked.

"Sayzel's fighting against Renji Abarai and Uryu Ishida as we speak." I said while resting my chin on my hand. "I'm scared for all of them."

"Don't worry about it. The three of them are strong and they'll probably end up tiring themselves out…well, maybe not the Quincy. He seems a little bit weaker than the other two." Grimmjow said before thinking. My eyes widened at his remark and he put his hands up in defense. "I'm just being honest, Sky."

"I'd appreciate it if you kept your stupid trap shut sometimes." I said. I felt the floor start to shake and my heart stopped. Another reiatsu had just entered the picture…but why? "Grim, do you feel that?" I asked with fear trailing off of every word. He only nodded once and his eyes widened.

"I can't completely pinpoint who it is, do you know?" he asked. I nodded slowly.

"I would know that freakish feeling anywhere. That's Captain Kurotsuchi Mayuri's reiatsu…and he just joined the fight I was telling you about." I felt the tears coming. "I need to go!" I yelled before using my sonido to get there as fast as possible. I arrived in the doorway once again and the scene I saw made my blood run cold.

"I figured you would be back, Sky." I saw Pop weak and on his knees in front of Mayuri with blood trailing from his mouth. To the right I saw Renji and Uryu on the ground so injured they were almost unconscious. Mayuri was completely fine. I hated that bastard with everything I had.

"Ah, Skyler Lester, formally known as Ariswana Thompson. It's been ages, truly. I do not know if I can truly hold you to your word that you gave to the head captain, so, I came on my own and decided to take matters into my own hands. As you can see, I have been successful. One less piece of dirt for us to worry about." He said as he turned back to Sayzel and grabbed his face with his grimy hands.

"Don't touch him, Mayuri, this one's mine." I said with an evil tone and an angry smile. Mayuri stepped back with a skeptical look on his face and Pop looked up at me with horror. I kneeled down in front of him and held his face in my hands.

"What are you going to do to me?" he asked with fear blazing in his eyes. I leaned really close to him and whispered in his ear:

"Nothing. I'm going to get you out of here." I leaned back and smiled. As I was about to wheel around and disarm Mayuri, a katana flew past me and injected itself into Sayzel's heart. Everything was moving in slow motion. I screamed and fell to my knees in front of him and cradled his head in my arms.

"Do not fret, woman. He will not die for a very, very long time. The power of my katana is such that he will not die from the blade for hundreds of years. It will slowly feel as if it's piercing through him for hundreds of years and he will be begging for death by the end. You did him mercy by letting me handle this. He will live for hundreds of years." He said with a smirk. I looked down at Pop with tears streaming down my face and my mouth wide open. He looked up at me slowly with what energy he had left.

"I'm glad I could have died in the arms of the one I love. Always remember what I told you before you left, Skyler. You were always more than a friend to me. I love you." he said before his head hung low and he fell to the ground to enter the hell Mayuri put him in. I inhaled and let out a sob and a scream at the same time.

"What have I let become of you, Pop? My best friend, my beloved comic relief, my wonderful poptart…" I trailed off and began to cry into his blood soaked hair. Mayuri had walked away from me and had handed Renji and Uryu things that would heal them from the wounds Sayzel had inflicted on them. They both rose after arguing about something and stood over me. I looked up at the three of them with a tear stained face.

"I do have regrets for making you feel this way, but I don't regret seeing his end." Renji said as he stared down at me. Uryu just looked at me with sorrow and when he tried to say something, he couldn't.

"You may have regrets, but a war is a war. If you're truly on our side you'll get over it and move on. Let's go." Mayuri said while leading the other two away. Uryu stood there for a little longer and looked at me.

"I'm sorry, Sky." He said quietly as he walked away. He was the only one to acknowledge my new name.

The three of them had departed and I was still cradling Sayzel's dying body. I wished he knew I was still there and that he wasn't alone. Maybe the pain wouldn't be as severe if he knew that someone was there to endure it with him.

"You're right. He is dead." I heard a soft voice behind me. I didn't feel like turning around to see who it was.

"Come on Skyler, you need to let the collectors do their job when they come. Come back to my room and we can talk." I recognized Hally's voice behind me and her hand on my shoulder. I knew she wasn't alone because what she said when she walked in wasn't directed at me.

"I got her." I heard Nnoitra state from behind. I felt myself letting go of Pop and being lifted into the air. I couldn't feel anything, I was so numb. I knew that Nnoitra had picked me up and was carrying me bridal style; but I couldn't even lift my head up to stop the blood from rushing to it. My eyes saw Hally open her door, but my mind just imagined Pop being stabbed at .3 miles an hour for one hundred years. I was set down on her bed and I just lay there, not moving.

"What should we do, Grimmjow? She's never been this upset before. Can we coax her out of it somehow?" I heard Hally ask my cousin who I had gone to see before everything happened.

"Someone go get Ulquiorra. He's the one she needs right now." Grimmjow responded. As much as he upset me before, what Grim said was right. If I wanted to see anyone right now it was Ulquiorra. I heard the door creak open and hasty footsteps rush over to my position.

"How long has she been like this?" his soft voice spoke to everyone.

"Well, we found her about a half hour after the battle had ended and we brought her back here around ten minutes ago…so about forty minutes. She hasn't moved and her eyes have the same blank stare." Hally explained with worry in her voice. I felt the bed shift down a bit and I knew Ulquiorra had sat beside me. He put himself in my eyesight but I couldn't see him. I knew he was there, but I just couldn't see him.

"I need to be alone with her for now. I'll keep you updated." Once again, I felt myself being lifted into the air; except this time the scent that overwhelmed me was the smell of my boyfriend. This time I picked my head up and laid it on his chest. As we walked out the door I could hear Hally burst into hysterics and everyone else start freaking out. Pop was everyone's friend. And now he was gone.

Ulquiorra opened his door and brought me over to his bed. He sat down and held me in his lap.

"You can talk to me whenever you want to. I'm here for you always." He said while stroking my hair. I curled up closer to his chest and felt his warmth. "And Skyler, don't ever let yourself think that I don't love you. Because I do. I love you with all I can give." He said while resting his cheek on the top of my head. I pulled away from him slightly and looked into his eyes. His green ones pierced into my bloodshot ones. My face was completely tear stained and I looked like a wrecked car.

"That means a lot right now. I love you more than anything." I said before I started sobbing again. I sobbed into his chest and he held me so tight I almost couldn't breathe. I could tell he was in pain too, because even though he didn't like Sayzel too much he didn't want him dead and he didn't want any of us to go through this. As he held me his teeth were bared and his eyebrows were furrowed. When I stopped making noise, but I was still shaking; he picked me up and tucked me into his bed. He climbed in next to me and held me close until I fell asleep. Pop's death was probably the most painful thing I ever went through. Nothing came close to comparison. Not Gin killing me twice, not leaving Hisagi, not leaving my sister, not anything. I watched him die in my arms, and he was never coming back. What other madness was this war going to bring me?


	21. Chapter 21

Nothing was going to be the same anymore. Everyone had been sulking around lately ever since Sayzel was killed and Aizen wasn't too fond of it. He called us into an emergency meeting after about a week.

"Listen, you all need to get your momentum back up or we're going to lose this battle." He said with coldness lingering behind his pupils. We all just sat there with our heads down not responding. There were only 6 of us left considering Nel was still missing. We've lost 4 people and it was only starting to sink in now that everyone else was sitting at the large, almost empty table. The end of the table where Aarionaro, Zommari, and Pop used to sit was so vacant and lonely. Aizen was eyeing us all and it had become extremely uncomfortable. If no one was going to say anything, it was going to have to be me, Espada number zero, being the hero once again. I sighed and stood.

"Sir, we will not lose this battle. Losing Aporro was a slap in the face for us. We didn't think we would lose someone so…viciously. In fact as we speak right now, the collectors may have taken his corpse away from the scene but he's still dying. He'll be dying for over one hundred years. Constantly in pain. Screaming for mercy." I said as tears started to pour from my eyes. Before I could continue, Ulquiorra stood and put a hand to my shoulder. I sat down again, but he remained standing.

"Aizen-sama, if I may take over on everyone's behalf here. Although many of us hold differences, we have always been loyal to you. Your direction has always led us to act as a team on certain missions and occasions. When you sit at this table with the same faces for so long, you become accustomed to looking at them. When it comes to realization that certain faces will never return; it takes a toll on everyone. We always follow your lead, and we will absolutely win this war. We will prevent anymore casualties." He said before taking his seat once more. I reached my hand over and put it on top of his milk-white one.

"Ulquiorra seems to be the only one here with a head on his shoulders. For his efforts, I will act as though that is what all of you are thinking at this moment." Aizen said as he eyed me down. "Don't get distracted in battle. You are useless to me if you do." He said more toward me than anyone else at the table. "Dismissed."

I walked from that room with rage filling my veins. How can one be so insensitive in a time of loss? This really wasn't the life for me. The moment I stop caring about those who have died will be the moment I know I must die myself.

"Personally, I think you handled yourself well for someone who just lost a friend. You stood up before anyone else did." I heard Stark say from behind me. I turned to him and nodded once in response.

"I figured it would be appropriate considering the number zero is tattooed on my shoulder. Ulquiorra is the one with the most responsibility though, I feel." I said as the others started to catch up. Stark just smiled at me until I felt a familiar pressure. No, this couldn't be happening…not so soon! Without a word, I sprinted from the group and out the door into the sunny part of Hueco Mundo. I was right, there he was.

"ICHIGO WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?" I yelled as a sandstorm picked up. He turned to me and gave me a slight wave. Next to him were Theresa and a tiny little arrancar. I ran over to them while getting whipped in the face with tons of sand and beckoned for them to follow me into a hidden alcove.

"Ah, Skyler I was wondering if I would see you here." Ichigo said while Theresa wrapped her arms around me. "I'm seeing you sooner than I expected too."

"Why are you here? You shouldn't be here, Ichigo. You've brought my sister into this and she's the last person I want to see in the walls of Hueco Mundo!" my eyes settled on the tiny arrancar hiding on Ichigo's shoulder. "Who is this little one? She looks familiar." I said while smiling at the timid girl.

"Oh, this is Nel. I met her when our group got attacked in the desert." Ichigo said while patting her head.

"NEL?" I yelled while getting down to her level and taking her shoulders. She yelled out and hid behind Ichigo.

"Woah, Skyler! What the hell are you doing?" Ichigo yelled.

"That's Nel-chan! I've been searching for her for months! What happened to you, Nel?" I asked the tiny thing.

"I dunno whatyer talkin' bout." She replied with certain smugness. Ichigo gave me a quizzical look and I stood back to my regular height.

"She's an Espada. She's the third to be exact. She's been missing for months, and I guess I know why now." I said in a daze. "Can you tell me the last thing you remember before this happened to you, Nel-sama?" I asked her.

"All I remember was a big scary guy with a RELE big sword thingy. He was real mad at me and he hit me on the head. I dun member nothin' after that." She said while tapping her little chin.

"A guy with a big sword who was mad at you? The only person who comes to mind with a large sword and a bad attitude is Nnoitra." I said.

"N-N-Nnoitra? Thaz the guy! He was soooo mad at me and I didn't do nothin'!" she said frantically while waving her little arms around.

"Nel, you're positive it was Nnoitra? Long black hair, long tongue, eyepatch?" I asked her. She nodded once and held onto Ichigo even tighter. "I'll talk to you all later, don't you dare do anything stupid while I'm gone!" I yelled while turning to run.

I sprinted down the hallway, past Grimmjow's door, to the left, and then down the next corridor. I knocked on Nnoitra's door and before he could even open it all the way I kicked it in and flew through. I put my hand to his throat and pinned him to the wall; there was no way he would be moving anywhere.

"What…the hell do you think..uh…you're doing?" he choked out as I tightened my grip.

"Don't play dumb with me! What have you done to Nel?" I yelled in his face. "Answer me!" his anger turned into a sly grin.

"I still don't know what you're talking about." He said in a deeper tone. I tightened my grip so hard that if I held it any longer I would have killed him.

"Don't lie to me, bastard!" I yelled right in his face. He just glared back at me and when I released slightly he started breathing heavy through his teeth.

"I got tired of being second to that lil' bitch. You, I know I could never compare with you're just a monster, but she was something different. I would never be second to someone like her. I had to get rid of her somehow, and I remembered her weakness; you hit her on the head and BAM! She's tiny." He said with an evil laugh. I tightened my grip once more until there wasn't even a choking sound coming from him and then I let go. He fell to the ground and I got down on one knee.

"You were my friend, Nnoitra! Did you ever stop to think that what you were doing would ultimately hurt the rest of us?" I whispered to him as he regained his breath.

"Sure everyone's friendly, but friendly's not my thing." He said.

"What about me? Didn't you ever think about the friendship Nel and I had? You didn't even stop to think about any of that, did you?" I asked.

"Jeeze Skyler, I mean yeah you're totally hot and badass and I would take you in a heart beat; but not even you were getting in my way." He said with a slight laugh.

"Aizen would be ashamed of you." I said and his eyes darkened. "He would see that you don't even deserve to be ranked at five. You don't even deserve to be an Espada!" I said with acid on my tongue. I turned and left him on the floor, gasping for air.

I stormed out of his room with anger flowing through my veins. I mean, who did he think he was? Poor Nel, I hope she can return to normal soon. Then I remembered Ichigo and Theresa were here; I needed to get to them as soon as I could and make sure they got out of here! I ran toward the place I last saw them. I saw Ichigo sitting down with his hand on Theresa's knee and Nel sitting on his lap. I flew down to them suddenly and scared the living crap out of all of them.

"Jeeze, Skyler you couldn't be a bit gentler?" Theresa asked while rubbing the back of her head. I just shrugged and sat Indian style next to Ichigo.

"What's your plan?" I asked.

"We're here for Orihime, that's it. As soon as we get her we're out of here." Ichigo replied.

"How many of you are there?" I said.

"Well, it's the two of us plus Nel here, her two friends, Uryu, Renji, Chad, and Rukia." He said.

"Yes, I've encountered everyone except Chad- and I'll take that as a good thing. Was it necessary to bring so many people though? This place…it isn't the place for any of you. I care too much for your safety to let you kill yourselves!" I yelled while getting to my feet.

"We're not going anywhere, Skyler. The only place we're going it to Orihime's rescue. Get out of here; we're not dragging you into this." Ichigo said before helping Theresa up and stretching. "We don't need you being executed."

"Please be careful." I said before turning my back. I looked over my shoulder once more. "And Ichigo, you protect my sister. If anything happens to her, I'll kill you myself." I said with a devilish grin before turning to run.

I wished nothing had ever happened to me. I wish I was still a human and I had never learned about Soul Society or any of these worlds. Ignorance is bliss, afterall. My only saving grace was Ulquiorra and he was nowhere to be found either. I decided I would take a trip to the top of the roof where I had first really met him.

I let my feet dangle over the edge as I lay back and stared up at the stars. It was colder up here and my hair tussled lightly every now and then. I smiled to myself when I originally knew how well Ulquiorra and I would connect. He filled my life with joy, and I hated myself for being smart. I knew what this war would come to. In reality, Ulquiorra and I couldn't be together for long. We were on two different sides…and whoever the victor was would lead us to losing each other in the end.


	22. Chapter 22

The wind was starting to pick up and my hair was slapping me in the face. I grabbed a handful and pulled it over my shoulder. I suddenly felt dizzy and I knew what was coming, but I needed to get away from the edge of the roof. Too late.

"Shit." I said before passing out and falling from the top.

_I looked around and I was lying on the top of a snowy hill in the middle of the night. The weather was calm and cold. I sat up and put a hand to my head. I shivered a bit before looking up and seeing that the night sky was filled with thousands of stars. I smiled up as a tiny snow flake landed on my face._

_ "Skyler." I heard my name called softly from behind me. I turned to see Tsuyoi Ishi walking from behind me as she gently sat beside me. Her long white hair was delicately tossed to one side under her black hood under her cloak. _

_ "Any particular reason why you brought me here? I swear, if I don't survive the fall off the roof, and I die forever, I'll come to this realm and haunt you forever." I said._

_ "I can sense there's an imbalance inside of you. You're frightening me, Skyler. Ever since you lost Sayzel there's been nothing but trouble within your mind. You know we're linked; it's as if you're telling me all of these horrid things. I can sense more terrible things are coming. You must train yourself to handle it- if you don't you'll kill yourself one way or another." She finished._

_ "You needn't worry about me. I think I'm okay now; my head's just a bit frazzled. I know now how everything needs to end. Aizen must be taken down soon before anyone else can be killed. I'm just scared because more people who I care about keep showing up here. This isn't their battle anymore; after what I've seen here…it's mine." I said before standing up. She stood as well and put a hand on my shoulder. She was truly something; she was completely gorgeous in every way and so angelic. She was about three feet taller than me, and I was pretty tall myself. We were basically related, and I loved her like she was my own sister._

_ "I can't help but worry about you. Please, know you can trust in me and I'll always be there for you in battle. I'm here for you outside of battle too- you're never alone. Be careful." She said before raising her hand in a wave._

I woke up in my own bed with bandages wrapped around my head. I sat up slightly and shot back down when a pain shot to my brain.

"Don't sit up; you hit your head on the way down." I heard Ulquiorra say from the other side of the room. I didn't listen to him and I sat up anyway. I rubbed my forehead and slightly smiled at him.

"How long have I been out for? And how did you find me?" I asked.

"I sensed your reiatsu disappear, and lucky for you I happened to be walking by." He said with a hidden tone lingering.

"What's the matter? You seem a little off." I said.

"Why'd you do it?" he asked. I looked at him with an eyebrow raised.

"Why did I do what?"

"Why'd you jump?" he asked while sitting at the edge of the bed. My mouth fell open at him.

"You think I jumped? Why would I even do that? How could you even think such a thing?" I inched closer.

"That's exactly what it looked like. I looked up and just saw you take your leap of faith down to the earth. I didn't know how to react and before I could jump and catch you I heard a loud noise and noticed you'd smacked your head and left a huge blood stain on the wall. You fell right into my arms, luckily." He said while staring at me as if he didn't believe I didn't jump.

"Well that explains the pain on my head…but you've got it all wrong. I was sitting on top of the roof trying to get my thoughts together, but then Tsuyoi Ishi wanted to get in contact with me. I tried moving away from the edge but she said it was urgent and I passed out into the other realm and fell from the roof. I have no reason to jump." I said as I climbed into his lap and lay my head on his chest. He gently wrapped his arms around me out of habit and sighed.

"I suppose that makes sense. She couldn't have picked a time when you were in a less dangerous location? What was the urgency anyway?" he asked as he played with a strand of my hair. I loved when he was mushy like this, it was rare.

"She just told me that she would always be there for me and that I could always go to her." I decided I wouldn't tell him about her premonition. It worried me enough to think terrible things were coming as it was. As though he read my mind, Ulquiorra stopped messing with my hair and said:

"I know Kurosaki's here." I stopped breathing and my blood ran cold. For some reason Ulquiorra had always had a bitter disliking for Ichigo. It may be because he beat up Grimmjow in the real world a really long time ago when I was still in Soul Society.

"What are you going to do?" I asked after a short silence.

"As of right now, nothing. I won't do something until it's ordered or he leads me into doing it. I know he'll come find me for what I did to that woman a long time ago. We're almost equally matched at this point and he knows it." He said matter-of-factly. "Although he has no idea what I can do…" he said quietly under his breath thinking I couldn't hear him.

"What can you do?" I asked while pulling away to look into his eyes. His normally emerald green eyes turned black and they narrowed.

"Nothing." His tone was ice cold. My eyebrow rose and I returned his glare full force. I had no idea what his deal was so I just leaned forward and planted a simple kiss on his lips. He held it there for a moment and when we pulled apart and I looked at him again his eyes were back to normal. I shrugged it off for the time being; however I knew I was going to find out sooner or later…hopefully sooner.

"So what do you have planned for today?" I asked him with a smile. He shrugged and started undoing my bandages after placing me back on the bed.

"Nothing at the moment, but I do have to change your bandages before anything else. They're already soaking through- you did a pretty good number on yourself." He didn't sound like his old self anymore; he had so much emotion nowadays. It made me happy to know I may have been the cause of that. I smiled outward and he gave me a quizzical look considering he just said I was bleeding profusely from my skull, but he let it go.

"Well if you're not doing anything, I have a pretty good idea of what you CAN do…" I trailed off as he finished re-wrapping my head.

"Oh? And what would that be?" he asked as he did the finishing touches. I grabbed his hands and brought them downward slightly. He blushed like crazy and I dove off the bed and locked the door.

"You catch my drift?" I hinted seductively. All he could do at that point was nod with his eyes slightly widened. I walked back over and pushed him down. "Good idea, right?" I remarked with a wink.

I mentally thanked myself when I woke up a little while later and noticed the scene around the room. Was that my…underwear…on the lamp? I blushed slightly when I remembered how it got there and then stifled a laugh in order not to wake him. I slowly got out of the bed and redressed into my uniform. I closed the door gently and let out a happy sigh. As I walked down the hall I started whistling a small tune and my footsteps turned to skipping.

I turned the corner and stopped dead in my tracks. If this was really happening, then my worst nightmares were really coming true. The amount of spiritual pressure that engulfed me was enough to send me to the floor on one knee. My eyes widened and I bared my teeth.

"AH what the hell are you doing? ICHIGO! You're a fucking idiot!" I yelled as I struggled to my feet. I ran as best I could out of the door and used my Sonido to get to the top of a building that had been cut in half. A little ways in front of me I was Orihime standing there with her hands over her heart and little Nel right next to her, holding onto her dress. Theresa was off to the side, unconscious on the ground.

"Orihime! What's going on?" I yelled over to her as I approached.

"Oh, Skyler! Ichigo had found me in my room and we were about to make our escape and find the others when that man saw us escaping. Apparently him and Ichigo had met before because they both got really angry and then really excited to be fighting each other. I really hope Ichigo wins, he's had a lot happen to him! He was killed earlier by the evil man with the green eyes. That man that's fighting him now forced me to heal him, as I would have anyway, because he wanted to fight him. And also…" I cut her off:

"Wait, did you just say Ulquiorra killed Ichigo?" I asked with horror. She just nodded in response with a hint of regret.

"I know you're with him since you told me earlier. It happened before, I had no idea where you were because I was expecting you to come rushing in but you didn't. And if you're wondering about Theresa, she got in the way and Ichigo accidentally knocked her unconscious. He brought her over here before the battle began." she said with sorrow. It must have happened when I was speaking with Tsuyoi Ishi.

"Ugh great, just another thing to add to my plate…" I trailed off. I looked onto the battlefield and saw one of the things I hoped I'd never see. Ichigo was there with his Bankai released…and Grimmjow was standing there in midair. Laughing


	23. Chapter 23

I raced out to the middle of the battle field before either of them could lunge. I heard Orihime's cries of protest behind me but I didn't care. Throwing myself between them, they stopped midair and stared at me.

"Skyler you need to get out of here, this isn't your fight." Ichigo said with his brow furrowed.

"Too bad it is. You cannot fight this man, Ichigo. Regardless of who's stronger I can't bear to lose either of you. Especially after losing someone close to me not too long ago because of this damn war." I said with my teeth bared. I looked to my right and saw Grimmjow was shaking his head. He lifted his eyes to mine and they looked like they were full of…regret?

"I'm sorry Sky, but you need to leave. This needs to happen whether you want it to or not. You're not my mother and I can do what I want, and what I want it so kill this twerp!" Grimmjow yelled in triumph. I furrowed my eyebrows even further and closed my eyes. I placed my hands at my sides and sighed.

"Please. I'm asking both of you a favor. Don't do this…let Ichigo go, and if Aizen gets upset blame it on me. Let him kill me if he has to, but I can't let this fight go on!" I yelled while fighting back tears. I looked to Ichigo for some kind of assistance but he dropped his gaze.

"I'm sorry, Skyler." He replied.

"Enough talk!" Grimmjow yelled as he sprang into action. "It's my turn!"

I leapt out of the way and hit the floor of the platform where Orihime was standing. I felt so useless, I just wanted to grab my weapon and knock both of them over the head with it! Grimmjow isn't loyal to Aizen, he's only there so he can be in on the action. He would follow me wherever I went, so why couldn't he just let this go…for me? It sounded selfish when I said it in my head, but it would be beneficial.

"Ichigo has to win this battle." Orihime said above my sulking figure. I looked up to meet her eyes but she just continued to stare out to the battlefield. "I don't know what kind of relationship you have with that man, but if he wins then the world will fail. Ichigo is our last withstanding hope to beat Aizen. He will win this battle, and I know you know that." She said coldly.

"That man is my birth cousin. Whichever one of them fails will affect me anyway, so now it's just the game of chance." I replied. I noticed her eyes shoot down to me for a split second but then return to the battle field.

Grimmjow shot from the sky and left a descent sized gash in Ichigo's chest and I noticed Orihime wince. I looked over to notice my sister was still unconscious, which was good otherwise she would be intervening twice as bad as I was. My head shot back to the battlefield when I heard Ichigo scream at the top of his lungs,

"Grimmjow, wait!" as Grimmjow shot the second best cero the Espada's have—right at the platform we were gathered on. I shot up to protect Orihime, Nel, and Theresa but Ichigo was faster. He managed to switch into his hollow form and destroy the blast before it reached us. My hair slowly flew in front of my face as I sent out a glare to Grimmjow. I shot forward with my sonido and through my hand to his neck.

"If you're going to be a dick and fight Ichigo regardless of the things I ask of you, don't you dare involve me or anyone else in this. When you fight someone, you fight them and them alone. Involve me again, and I'll be the one to end this fight." I said menacingly as he just frowned down at me. I shot back to my spot and crouched as I put my arms around my knees. Orihime and Nel were staring at me, but I just placed my chin to my kneecaps.

I knew why he had done it. He shot a warning blast at us knowing that Ichigo would have to move onto his stronger form in order to stop it, which was exactly what he wanted. Grimmjow doesn't half-ass anything; if he was going to win this fight, he was going to make it interesting. As Ichigo attempted to comfort Orihime over the way he looked as a Hollow, Grimmjow began to move onto his second hollow transformation. This battle was going to end bloody, and very, very bad.

Grimmjow really was such a dick when he was on the battlefield. He would constantly jab at the other opponent to egg them on and then just laugh in their face. They both seemed to be pretty well-matched and in reality, I think both of them were afraid. From behind I heard a small whimper and I looked to see Orihime's eyes. They were widened and afraid. I stood from my crouching position and put a hand to her shoulder. She looked me in the eyes and I smiled at her.

"It's alright. Ichigo is the same under that fowl mask—he's here protecting you. Grimmjow's the idiot, as much as I love him. But don't be afraid of Ichigo, it would break his heart if he knew you felt like this." I said reassuringly. She nodded her head and her mouth formed into a slight smile from the straight line it had been stuck in. I heard Nel let out a yell and as I turned I noticed small explosive triangles flying straight toward us. Knowing they were Grimmjow's I became infuriated but before I could react I noticed Ichigo take the blow from every single one of them. I yelled out and through my hand in front of my in a futile attempt to help him, but blood shot from his mouth and I was afraid he was down for the count.

"No, Ichigo! You can't fail now!" I yelled as Orihime sank to the ground. He lifted his head and nodded once.

"I'm okay." He said before turning toward the battle once more. They lunged and each time they connected, they would part with blood spewing in all directions from each of their bodies. It was one of the most horrific scenes I've ever had to witness. After a while Ichigo had begun to lose his original spunk and was getting the crap kicked out of him. Grimmjow didn't even look the least bit tired, but Ichigo continued to get up and fight no matter how rough the beating was. I didn't notice at first, but after a while I felt tears streaming down my face. I touched my cheek and closed my eyes tightly at the thought.

"This is miserable." I said to myself.

"STOP THIS MADNESS!" I heard a voice call from behind me. I whirled around and saw that Theresa was awake. Her head was bleeding badly but the look in her eyes was even more frightening. They were wide and blackened and she looked possessed.

"Theresa, you need to lay back down your head…" I tried to tell her but she just passed by me and ran to the edge of the cliff.

"Stop this Ichigo! Whatever this is about, it isn't worth it! Don't die! You don't need to win; you just can't get hurt anymore! Please stop this!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. I had never seen my sister in such a panicky state, and it scared the living hell out of me. I couldn't even rush over to comfort her; all I could do was stare in horror at their exchange. Ichigo turned around with exhaustion and regret playing with his eyes, but as he let his guard down Grimmjow charged at him with all of his might. What happened next…was unbelievable.

Ichigo stopped Grimmjow's motion with the simple lift of his hand. Before anyone knew what was going on, Ichigo through his blade down Grimmjow's torso and sent him falling to the ground. I lurched forward and went to fly off the cliff but Orihime retrained me. It were as if time had stopped and there was no sound but the rush of the wind. I was yelling, yes—but there was no sound coming out. At least not to my ears. Theresa stared down at me in shock because she had no idea who Grimmjow really was to us, she only saw him as an enemy to our friends. I fell to the floor on my stomach and watched the scene play out below as Grimmjow spoke words we couldn't hear from our platform. As we all realized what was coming, Orihime let out a yell and Grimmjow lurched forward and shoved his blade into Ichigo's stomach. I heard Theresa let out a gasp from behind me but we were all too horrified to react. Everything was happening so fast, we were all relieved when the battle commenced again as normal despite their horrible injuries. Though before it happened, my mind knew how this was going to end. There was no way Ichigo could lose to Grimmjow—not when so much was at stake.

"I'm not going to lose to you, Grimmjow!" Ichigo yelled as he lurched forward with his blade drawn. By the look on Grimmjow's face, he knew this was true and he knew this was the end of their fight.

"Grim!" I yelled as e was penetrated by the blade. As he began to fall, Ichigo caught him by the hand and held him so he wouldn't get any more injured than he was. He was truly an honorable man. They slowly made their way toward the ground as the tears streamed down my face with the horrible scene I needed to take in. I now had to come to terms that my cousin, my last living relative, might die right in front of my eyes. Ichigo rose to the top of the platform and was greeted by the other three while I dove away from Orihime's restraint to be my cousin's side. I kneeled down next to him and heard a loud "WHAT?" from Theresa, so Orihime must have given her the news.

"I told you this was a bad idea." I said to him through tears. He just snarled and got to his knees. "What the hell are you doing, sit back down so you have some kind of a chance at living." I said. He just smirks at me as he approaches the other four, who had come down from the platform. He had returned to his normal Espada form and acted as though he were going to continue the fight.

"It's over, Grimmjow. Let it go." I said. He raised his blade to my neck and growled.

"Don't get in my way." He said before stalking forward. Ichigo looked down on him with pity and closed his eyes. I just laughed at my cousin's stupidity as Ichigo once again put him in his place. This didn't end the way I had expected it to, and I was grateful. I couldn't help but smile as I saw Grimmjow come to realization that this was over. We would all go to Hally's room later and he would angrily rant about how stupid this entire thing was. In the end, I wasn't anything but grateful.

"I can't lose to someone like-!" he yelled before he was cut off…by a huge blade being cast into his side. Nnoitra's blade. My eyes widened with horror and I screamed the loudest scream anyone had ever imagined. Grimmjow hit the floor and was basically cut in half. I looked over to the owner of the blade and saw Nnoitra standing there holding it.

"Damn, you're a sore loser!" he said with a laugh. I rushed over to Grimmjow's side and noticed there was no air coming from his lungs. His eyes were widened, but there was no light. There was nothing…he was gone. My cousin, my only living relative, my best friend, my world…was gone. I threw my fists down to the sand in rage and let out the most pained scream I could muster. The entire group had turned their attention toward me and witnessed the scene.

"You idiot! I told you this fight wasn't worth it! Why do you never listen to me? You could have walked away! You could be here with me right now but you're not! I'm never going to see you smile again…I'm never going to make a joke with you again…I'm never going to do anything with you ever again! You can't leave me like this!" I yelled through sobs as I shook his unmoving shoulders. The only response I got was the trickling of blood from the corner of his lips. I wiped it away and let out another sob. I threw myself to my feet and looked at Nnoitra through the mess my hair had become.

"Why?" I yelled with fury. He smiled through his long, black hair and snickered.

"That's what you get for trying to choke me out before, bitch." He said slyly.

"YOU KILL YOUR BEST FRIEND AND COMRADE BECAUSE OF ME?" I screamed as fire ignited in my pupils. He nodded once solemnly.

"I did it to put you in your place." He replied. I felt the world sinking into blackness around me. I knew what was coming, though I didn't want to admit it. I was going into Bankai, though I didn't know how this would turn out in my Espada form. I wiped the tears away from my face and instructed Ichigo to get everyone out of there and move Grimmjow's lifeless body. My eyes rested upon his face for the last time as I braced. I unsheathed Tsuyoi Ishi and with grated teeth I spoke the words:

"Crawl from the burning depths of Hell, Tsuyoi Ishi." I felt myself changing slowly as the image of Grimmjow's dead body was burned into my mind. From the corner of my eye I noticed Ulquiorra arrive at the scene, exchange a few words with Ichigo (which were full of malice), and take a stance against the wall. They were putting their differences aside for my sake, and their own safety because if they pissed me off right now I probably would kill them without second thought.

"Nnoitra?" I spoke.

"What? And don't act like you can scare me, this is just a pathetic attempt for revenge." He said with a grin.

"I'm going to kill you." I said before lunging forward.


	24. Chapter 24

Our swords clashed together and we both shot backwards. The wind blew softly and the sand danced around my eyes, but I was too focused to care. Nnoitra stared me down, as did the others—I hadn't realized but my appearance had changed as well. Wearing short black shorts made of leather and a matching leather top that was one-shouldered with a bit of the naval exposed—the entire thing was topped off with high black boots that came right above the knee. What really caught me off guard, though, was the fact that my once long, blonde hair was now black as night. The outfit was altered and my hair was different; the beauty of being an Espada is that everything becomes far more beautiful than it had been before.

"Are you just going to stand there staring at me all day or are you going to make a move?" I asked in a taunting manner. He just sneered and took a step forward. "Hn, this is going to be fun." I said as I licked my lips.

We charged into battle and as our swords met once again, but this time we both held our ground. Collision after collision, nothing happened but the connection of steel. Seeing this common trend, I decided I needed to take it to the next level.

"Is your Bankai just for looks?" he yelled to me as we separated once again.

"It's funny you should ask, I did find this rather boring myself." I replied. I glanced to my left and noticed the gathering standing together—minus Ulquiorra—all with the same look of fear implemented on their faces. Glancing to my right, none of it mattered as the image of Grimmjow's lifeless, sunken in eyes burned into my mind. I twisted the hilt of my sword and pulled it apart into two different twin swords. This was nothing new to any of them, but what no one else knew was that in Bankai Tsuyoi Ishi had another part to her. I stood back from the others and attached the bottoms of each hilt together. Letting them fly apart from one another, they were attached by a long black chain and worked moreso as a mace than a sword. The swords quickly transformed into large axe-type scythes, similar to Nnoitra's, but much more deadly.

I quickly spun one of the swords in a circle in the air as a threat and then quickly caught it. Before anyone could breathe I let out a small yell and lunged the sword right at Nnoitra's face. Just barely dodging it, he rolled across the sand and was left with a long bloody gash across his upper cheekbone. Having the fastest sonido around, I landed gracefully behind him before he could even think about moving and wrapped the chain around his throat.

"You want to put me in my place? You want to put me in my place by killing Grimmjow? WHAT LESSON WERE YOU TRYING TO TEACH ME HUH? NOT TO CHOKE YOU ANYMORE?" I tightened the chain around his neck and felt my eyes slowly sink into blackness. I knew what was coming next. This is where the barrier between Shinigami and Arrancar would really show. I let him fall to the ground as he attempted to gasp for air like a fish out of water. I took a few steps away from the group to my left and when I saw Nnoitra on the ground I threw my head back and laughed. I wasn't sure what was happening to me, but I was more bloodthirsty than ever before. I leaned down right in Nnoitra's face and squeezed it tightly in my hand.

"You made a very bad decision today, little boy." I said as the blackness began to surround the arena. Everything around us turned black to the point where one could not see his own hand in front of his face. Pink circles with demonic symbols appeared along the walls and floor of this black arena and suddenly Nnoitra appeared in the center of one, chained to the ground.

"What the fuck is this, you monster?" he yelled as he struggled to escape. I prowled around him while holding my blade, which had returned to its original form in order to conserve energy.

"Glad you asked. This is the barrier between my Shinigami Bankai and my Espada Bankai. My Shinigami Bankai was more of a Bounto type attack where I didn't have a sword at all…this…this is much darker. I can feel the dark magic flowing throughout my body and my sword and I are one." My hair started to gravitate and I felt wind swirling all around me. Sometimes I forget that Tsuyoi Ishi's main power revolves around wind. "At this point…you should be very afraid." I raised my hand above my head and as I threw it back toward the ground a small hint of a magic power left my hand and hit Nnoitra square in the chest. He coughed up a bit of blood and I got eye level with him once again.

"Do you want to feel the same pain Grimmjow did before he died?" I asked him. Before he could even answer I covered his mouth and shook his head yes. "Good." Once again I stood back, but this time I threw both of my arms into the air in a cross formation. I yelled and threw my hands to the ground and a huge black circle with a red rim surrounded the two of us and he slowly began to sink. Before he sank all the way through, I used my Sonido and slashed him over one hundred times and by the time he was basically bled out, he had sunk to his doom.

The darkness slowly began to dissipate and I felt myself returning to the desert scene the forsaken battle had started in. Nnoitra was lying on the ground, face down and covered in blood. I was extremely weak from the battle and my Bankai form had also began to melt away as my Espada uniform clung to my body once again. I looked to the left and saw my old friends cuddled together in fear and Ulquiorra even more pale than usual. I kneeled over Nnoitra and spit on him.

"There isn't a zero on my back for nothing." I said as I began to walk away and approach Ulquiorra. I heard something shuffle in the sands behind me and as I glanced over my shoulder a blade connected with the side of my throat. I went flying into the cliff side and opened one of my eyes. Through the blood dripping down my face, I saw Nnoitra. He looked worse off than I did by far, but how in the hell was he standing?

"Confused? Don't be. Aizen-sama lent me a power knowing that I would need a quick regeneration sometime soon. He probably had no idea it would be because of you though. I have no fuckin' idea what that power was, but you need to die. No one should ever possess a power like that." He said with his teeth grated. As he went to open his mouth to speak a blade was put to his throat. I was barely able to see from the impact his sword made on my throat, but I was able to tell that it was Nel…and she was huge! She was normal sized…and beautiful.

"Ulquiorra, get Skyler out of here. This has been my fight since the very beginning. The reason I was so small…was because of this man right here. This is my turn to get vengeance, and I don't need anyone else getting in my way." She turned to me and said: "I was Grimmjow's friend too, I'll make sure you see your revenge." She said before turned away to face her battle.

Ulquiorra leapt into the crevice I created and gently helped me out. My body was weakened by his blow so quickly because I had used all of my power in attempt to kill him. Ulquiorra slung his arm over my shoulder and helped me out of the hole. We walked over to my old companions and I nodded once.

"If you want to stay and watch the battle please be careful." I said before walking away. None of them wanted to make eye contact with me after watching the power I had. They couldn't see half of what went on inside that blackness, but they saw enough. Before walking away, Theresa reached out and grabbed my hand and gave it a quick squeeze. I returned it and stalked over to Grimmjow's body. Ulquiorra slung him over his shoulder and grabbed my hand. I had gained back enough strength to walk on my own, but I couldn't see past the dripping blood. Before walking away from the battle, all I noticed was Nnoitra laughing like a maniac and Nel's body had transformed into that of a centaur. I turned my head and buried it into Ulquiorra's shoulder as we walked away.

As we walked along that desert path, I left behind my friends. I left behind my enemies. And I left behind my demons.


	25. Chapter 25

I felt helpless; I wanted to be the one to take down Nnoitra and avenge my cousin! But in the end Nel really did deserve the victory. I was sitting Indian-style on the toilet seat in the bathroom in my room as Ulquiorra gently ran a moist cloth across my wounds.

"Do you think I could have beaten him?" I asked. I heard him sigh as he turned around to re-wet the cloth.

"You definitely could have won from what I saw, but I'm glad you stopped when you did. That power…was just frightening and from the looks of it, you didn't look like you had it mastered. Was this the first time?" he asked.

"Well it was the first time I've ever experienced my bankai in this form, but I had it pretty much under control." He shrugged and put the cloth down in the sink. I grabbed him hand and he helped me up. I led him over to the bed and lay down beside him as he gently stroked my arm. A loud explosion sounded outside the window and the building shook as Nel's reiatsu disappeared. I shuddered and suddenly just began to sob. Ulquiorra tensed and rolled over to look at me.

"I'm sorry this is so ridiculous of me…I just can't stomach the thought of him winning. Do you feel that? Nel is gone." I said gently as tears ran down my face. He stroked them away and whispered into my ear:

"He's not going to win. Nel will be fine and everything should work out." He said. I just started to shake my head and he stood. "Follow me." He said as he started to walk out the door. Curiosity got the best of me and I followed. He walked with his hands in his pockets and stared straight ahead as I just stared at the back of his head. We walked outside into the darkness and the cold sand surrounded us as we continued on. The stars were shining brighter than ever and I soon understood where he was bringing me. When we had first met before we even realized we had any feelings for one another, we used to fly to the top of the roof often and would talk. As I lay on my back and stared at the sky he would listen to every word I said. He was the best listener anyone could ask for. He gently intertwined his fingers in mine and quickly flew to the top of the roof of the tallest building in Hueco Mundo. As we landed, he turned to me and looked deep into my eyes.

"I cannot bear to see you like this so often. So much is happening and although it would have never affected me before, it affects me now because it affects you. The loss of these people does impact this place as a whole, but it is hurting you personally. As helpless as I feel against this and how I feel I am of no help to you, I know there is something that will peak your interest." He said. My brows furrowed as he began to unzip the top of his collar. This scene was so familiar to me. When we had first met I remember talking to him about something and he was doing the same action, but he never finished. His face was pink then, but it was milk white now.

He finished unzipping his collar and my heart skipped a beat. My eyes widened and my breath caught in my throat. He had finally revealed his hole location. The base of his neck…just like mine used to be. I put my hand to my neck and felt where the hole had originally started and then slowly moved it to my lower back where it currently resides. I stepped closer to him and cupped my hand around his neck gently and slowly breathed in and out.

"I remember the conversation we had in Hallibel's room." He said. My eyes moved from his neck to his eyes.

"You know what this means?" I asked him with my voice barely audible. He lightly grabbed my hand and nodded.

"Yes, I do." He said.

"Ulquiorra…you are my soul mate." I said with a shaky voice. I quickly grabbed both of his hands in mine and moved closer. We closed the gap between us in the softest, most passionate kiss of our lives.

"Skyler, I…love you." He said. I bit my lower lip and kissed him again.

"I love you too, with all of my heart." I replied. My eyes suddenly became heavy and I sighed. "Shit."

_I awoke by the side of a lake in the setting of winter. The trees were bear and it was a little cold, but not uncomfortable. I slowly sat up and felt my hair flow behind me as the light snow on the ground shook off of it. I turned to the left and saw Tsuyoi Ishi slowly stroking a huge white horse next to one of the bear trees. _

_ "I am very happy for you." She stated with a light smile. The horse made a light whinny and I stood from my place in the snow. I walked over and put a hand on the horse._

_ "This is a new addition." I stated._

_ "Everything is changing in your life, thus making it change in mine. I thank you for the horse." She said with a light laugh._

_ "So I'm assuming you called me here because you heard?" I asked. She slowly nodded in response._

_ "I told you to keep hope. You've finally found him, and lucky for you he was right in front of your eyes. Though you have lost Grimmjow and you have lost Sayzel, you were able to find something to hold onto. It worries me less now that you won't be in impending depression all day every day." She said. I nodded once and lay the side of my face to the horse and smiled._

_ "Yeah, I suppose you're right. It is nice to know that someone is there at the end of the day." I said. _

_ "Don't worry about Nel. She's alright, the curse just took her back and she is but a child again." She said. I sighed in relief; Nel had become a very dear friend. "Return now, a very pleasant surprise awaits your return." She said smiling. I felt myself hit the snowy floor once again._

I woke up on my back with my head in Ulquiorra's hand.

"Hi there." I said to him with a smile. He looked relieved, but not surprised. This had been happening since we had met.

"Was she happy for you?" he asked. I nodded and slowly sat up. I put a hand to my head and shot to my feet when I felt an all too familiar reiatsu encompass my entire form.

"No…no freakin way!" I yelled as I quickly dove from the roof of the building. I flew back to the location where my battle with Nnoitra had taken place with Ulquiorra right on my heels. We landed and the sight I saw took my breath away for the hundredth time today. I walked over and scooped up Nel's little form and cradled her in my arms and smiled widely as I saw Kenpachi standing over Nnoitra's bleeding form. We made eye contact and he laughed like a maniac.

"This doesn't surprise me one bit." He said as he shook his head. I just shrugged and handed Nel to Ulquiorra who unwillingly accepted her. I stalked over to Nnoitra and he looked me in the eye with a snarl. My heel connected with his jaw and he flew a few feet away. Zaraki looked a little taken aback by my action, since to him he appeared as my comrade.

"Bleed out, snake." I said as I spit in his face. Nel was awake now and uttered Nnoitra's name right before he fell to the ground, dead. "Good riddance." I said as I walked over to Zaraki. I leapt up and embraced him the best I could since he was so huge.

"This is weird." He said before shoving me off.

"Wasn't my choice to come here, you know that. You were there at the captain's meeting. I'm working on it, you know where my allegiance lies." I said. He nodded once.

"I know. It's still weird though." He said as he playfully pushed my face. I smiled and turned to the others who were still there.

"Good luck." I said to them as I nodded to Ulquiorra and used my Sonido to get back to the palace. I walked to Hally's room and knocked lightly on her door. She was so excited to see me that she hugged me tighter than ever before and let me in.

"It's been ages, Sky." She said. I nodded and lay Nel on her bed. "Who is that?" she asked.

"It's Nel. She was cursed by Nnoitra, who is now dead." I said in a monotone voice. She sighed behind me.

"I know. I'm not even remorseful, I heard what happened." She stated and I shuddered.

"I have a lot to fill you in on, but not now." I said as I went to walk out of her door. She hugged me again and waved a good-bye. As she closed the door and I turned around, Ulquiorra was standing there, staring at me.

"What's wrong?" I asked suddenly concerned. He sunk down to the floor but put a hand up to stop me from coming down to help him.

"Skyler?" he asked.

"…Yes?" I replied with concern.

"Will you marry me?"


	26. Chapter 26

I stared at him in disbelief as my face immediately began to turn a crimson color. I couldn't think of a valid response, however my mouth was moving but no words were coming from it.

"I'm sorry I don't exactly have a ring, this was a really spontaneous decision on my part. Though I've been thinking of it for quite some time, I feel things are going to be getting a bit rougher around here. So what say you, Skyler?" Ulquiorra said.

I legitimately couldn't fathom what was happening, so I reached down and took his hands into my own and smiled.

"Y—yes! Of course I'll marry you, I would love nothing more than to be your wife!" I yelled as he stood. I jumped into his arms and he hugged me tighter than ever before. I couldn't believe it, I was finally getting married! Even though it took dying a couple of times and going through hell and back (literally), I was finally going to be considered someone's wife. "When did you want to plan this, exactly?" I asked. He just shrugged in response and put his arm over my shoulders.

"I haven't really thought about details and everything yet, but my first goal is to find you a ring so that everyone may know. I will be proud to have you as my wife." He said as he laid his head upon my own. I leaned into his chest and took in his scent—it was a beautiful smell. In that moment, I forgot all of the chaos that was surrounding our world then and could only see him in front of my eyes. I never imagined Ulquiorra Schiffer as being the type of Espada to want to "settle down" but I guess I was wrong after all.

"What's running through that crazy mind of yours now?" he asked me with one eyebrow raised. It made me laugh when I remembered how emotionless he really used to be.

"Everything and anything revolving around you. It surprises me when I think of how emotionally bland you used to be or how much you pretended to hate my guts when really you wanted to be all up in my guts!" I said with a laugh as he looked at me with fright.

"That remark was baffling to me. However, yes it is true that it was a sad attempt for me to cover up whatever it is I feel inside this black little heart." He said. I stared up at him angrily and as I was about to say something he put a long, white finger up to silence me. "Correction, it is love I am feeling in this little slightly discolored heart of mine."

"Nice save." I said with a slight glare. We smiled at one another before we felt the ground shake. "What could it possibly be NOW?" I yelled in frustration until I felt my sister's reiatsu peak to its highest point. My eyes widened quickly as I ripped away from Ulquiorra without a word and used my fastest form of sonido.

"Sorry that was so abrupt, but there's no time!" I thought to myself in reference to leaving him behind in the dust after he had just proposed to me.

I arrived in a small room with mirrors on each wall and the ceiling was aligned with diamonds. The floor was made of a white stone and set up in diamond-shaped tiles. Aside from one large window in the ceiling there was almost no lighting, but the room itself was very bright.

"I've never seen this place before." I said quietly under my breath. I heard a small laugh and a slight shuffle and turned around to see Starrk holding someone who looked like Hally at a quick glance.

"Oh, hello there, Sky! What are you doing here in my little fantasy?" he said with a smile. He moved out slightly from behind the wall he was standing next to and I noticed he had Theresa-san in a choke hold with his hand over her mouth. Her eyes were wide and pleading as they stared into my own. I pretended not to know her.

"I just happened to be running through here and noticed this strange place. Who is that girl? Is that one of the humans?" I asked him. He was one of the more oblivious people in our friend group so he had no idea I had personally known any of the people in Ichigo's group—this would work out to my advantage, I hoped.

"Sure is, and she's a pretty one too. If you promise not to tell Halibel, you can join in on the fun I'm about to have with her. I planned on toying around with her a bit and then having a serious one on one fight. You can join the first part though, seeing as you're definitely the hottest Espada here!" he said with a sly grin. He had to be kidding. Starrk had always been one of the more respectable Espada! My insides turned awkwardly and I unfortunately gave my position away in a grimace.

"Sorry to tell you, but I've just been engaged." Theresa's eyes widened. "secondly, I don't approve of cheating on the one you love." His smile turned into a glare. "and lastly, no one uses my sister as a toy." I said as I drew my weapon. He gaped at me from across the room and this distraction worked well enough for him to loosen his grip on Theresa and allow her to slip free. She shun-po'd over to me and took a fighting stance to my left.

"Your…sister? You mean to tell me you're on friendly terms with these people?" he asked with astonishment. I laughed.

"Friendly? These people are my life, and I wouldn't betray them for anything. Not even the man I'm going to marry." I said with a glare. Theresa-san looked over to me and I signaled to her that I would eventually fill her in later. "Do you not remember how hard it was for me to accept being here? Maybe you're not as smart as I thought, Starrk." I said smugly. He got really angry and drew his weapon as well. As we were about to charge, Hally stepped into the room and let out a shriek.

"What's going on here? What are you two idiots doing?" she yelled as she jumped in between. I lowered my weapon for a split second but when I noticed Starrk still had his raised I put it back up.

"Skyler and I no longer see eye to eye, my love. Do not interfere." He said darkly. I snarled and growled.

"Don't do this, please." She said in a pleading tone. As I was about to respond Theresa jumped in front of me and put her palms facing out toward Starrk.

"Osaeru, Chiisa Yousei!" she yelled as two beams shot from her hands and restrained Halibel and Starrk together in a beam of a teal-colored light. "Run!" she yelled as she grabbed my hand and fled from the diamond fantasy room. When we finally stopped running and hid behind a corner outside the building I looked at her with a bewildered expression.

"What was that you did back there? That wasn't any type of Kidou I've ever seen." I said. She smiled and nodded in agreement.

"That's a part of the special power I have. I had told you when you were still a shinigami that I grew powers similar to Orihime, but you've never seen exactly what they are. It's a much stronger form of Kidou, which I may also use when fighting with my fists." She said as the same colored light erupted from her hands and surrounded them. She turned to the wall we were leaning against and punched it. The wall blew into a million pieces and part of the building began to crumble until the entire structure fell. I stared wide-eyed from my place on the sandy floor. Since I had been leaning against it, I didn't have much time to move away from the wall before she destroyed it.

"What the hell, you couldn't wait for me to move first you moron?" I yelled as I dusted myself off. She just shrugged and smiled at me.

"Surprised?" she asked. I just shook my head that I wasn't.

"Not particularly, I'm the strongest person in both Soul Society and Hueco Mundo, it doesn't really surprise me that you're powerful." I said with indifference. She looked a bit disappointed at this but let it go. As we were about to begin walking back, I felt a strange pressure arising around the vicinity. I stopped dead and it felt as if the world were moving in slow motion. I turned around and noticed there were four figures at the top of the highest building in all of Hueco Mundo. As I took in a small breath of air—Ulquiorra had drawn his sword, Ichigo drew his own, and Ishida took Orihime away from the scene as best he could. As Ulquiorra and I locked eyes, my world turned black and my face hit the sand.

_I awoke in a world I had never seen before. It was as if I was sitting in a sea of clouds and nothing else. All I saw were clouds._

_ "I'm sorry to pull you here like this, but I'm not getting good vibes." I heard Tsuyoi-Ishi's voice behind me, but I didn't bother turning around._

_ "I know, neither am I. I'm afraid that everything that has made me happy is about to erupt into the worst possible scenario of my life. If he fights Ichigo, there's no winning for either of them. They'll either kill each other or one will fall. If Ichigo dies, it's the end of all that is pure. If Ulquiorra dies…" I trailed off as I pulled my knees to my chest. "There's nothing I can do to stop this."_

_ "You don't need to stop it; this was meant to happen all along. The fate of the world rests in both of their hands. I am unbiased because I live through whatever choices you make, however, you and I both know Aizen cannot win." She said. I looked up at her and noticed she was holding a harp._

_ "Where did you get that?" I asked. She smiled and played a few notes._

_ "Like my horse, this appeared magically one day because the course of your life brought it to me. The minute you agreed to marry Ulquiorra, this harp appeared in my hands. I feel a new power radiating from it, you're becoming even stronger." She said. I was shocked at this; I didn't think my power would be able to expand much further than it already had. _

_ "Tsuyoi, what should I do?" I asked._

_ "There's nothing you can do." She said. _

I awoke in the same place I had fallen earlier and Theresa was standing over me, but she wasn't looking at me. She had her hand under my head and was staring off to the top of the building. She looked a mix between angry and scared.

"They're fighting. Ichigo…isn't going to make it."


	27. Chapter 27

The look of determination on Ichigo's face was unforgettable; there was no way he was going to lose. I took Theresa's hand in my own and she finally looked at me; she'd been crying.

"As torn as I am, sister, I know that someone is going to win this battle. And in my heart I know it's going to be Ichigo." I said. I hung my head in sorrow but looked on the battle with the determination I knew was aflame in Ulquiorra's heart.

My breath caught in my throat as I saw Ulquiorra suddenly unleash his cero without any warning as Ichigo was caught within it. When the smoke cleared Ichigo stood there unharmed, and he hadn't even been wearing his mask! The battle continued on and I let out a scream as I saw Ichigo's sword make contact with Ulquiorra's flesh. To my relief, it had merely cut through his garb—not his skin. Orihime would interrupted every now and then to block Ichigo from harm's way, but the battle seemed to be a pretty equal match.

"Skyler, is that really the man you're seeing? Were you just bluffing before or were you serious?" Theresa-san asked. I looked at her and felt a small smile tugging at the corners of my lips.

"Yes, I'm really seeing him. When you get below the exterior, he's really not so bad. We're actually…engaged, like you had heard in the other fight with Starrk. I'm very happy…but not with this." I said as I gestured over to the fight before us. She stayed silent at this news; she understood what I was going through. "Wait a minute" I stated. Something had caught my eye in the distance of the battle. Without thinking, I shot over there and intercepted one of the fracción who had tried to pull a fast one on Orihime.

"What do you think you're doing, slime?" I said. She looked a bit terrified but immediately tried to cover it up.

"This bitch doesn't deserve the praise she gets from Aizen-sama! I'm going to kill her and then she won't be in my way anymore!" she yelled. Ichigo took notice of us and began to fly over before being intercepted by Ulquiorra. I gave him a look saying 'don't worry, I got this!' and he understood. I turned back to the girl and smirked at her.

"No worries, you'll be in Aizen-sama's prayers soon enough." I said. I thrusted my sword straight through her stomach and lifted her into the air without any effort and cast her aside, sending her to a sandy grave off the side of the building. Killing people had not become an issue for me lately, especially with all the chaos. I felt the floor quaking below my feet and I raised my sword to a sound I heard coming from the other side of the wall. My defenses became set at ease when I saw Ishida burst through the wall.

"Uryu! Boy am I glad to see you at a time like this!" I hollered. He approached me and took my hand in his as greeting.

"Likewise, as always, Skyler-kun." He said. I could see him trying to conceal the blush and giggled a little; after all this time, he still had a crush on me!

"I need you to do me a huge favor, Ishida." I said. My tone became serious and his expression immediately hardened.

"What is it you need?" he asked. He looked around and saw Orihime cowering on the floor and Ichigo and Ulquiorra eyeing each other up. His eyes focused on Theresa-san's form in the background hollering out at me.

"Take Orihime and Theresa-san away from here. Protect them both with all of your might, they can't be here." I said. The thought sank in that this might be the last time I see any of them, depending on the outcome of this fight and I had to fight the urge to cry.

"I can't do that." He said. I looked at him and my eyes widened.

"Why not?"

"It's safer for them both to be here with all of us under the same roof and for me to just protect them in general than to remove them from the sanctity of this room and bring them into more harm's way." He said. I understood his point and nodded in response while hanging my head. I wanted Theresa-san and Orihime to be anywhere but here; they shouldn't have to see Ichigo fall…or they shouldn't have to see me fall. "Why wouldn't you have just taken them out yourself, out of curiosity?" he asked.

"I have to remain here, Ishida. This is where I need to be." I replied. He followed my glance over to where Ulquiorra stood and a clouded look formed over his eyes. He knew exactly what I meant by that. Without another word he grabbed Orihime's hand and flew over to where Theresa-san was standing and held them both to him so they would be protected from the reiatsu about to be unleashed in this room. I backed away as well, distancing myself from the two combatants.

The true battle was about to begin; Ichigo had pulled out his one true secret weapon: his hollow.

Every cero and attack Ulquiorra was unleashing, Ichigo was dodging. Just as I believed the battle was coming to an end I noticed Ulquiorra leading Ichigo to the top of the dome. I knew that could only mean one thing—Ulquiorra was about to release his true form.

"Bind, Murciélago." He stated. Shivers were sent down my spine; I knew what destruction was to come next. The man standing before me was no longer the tender one I had taken so long to mold, but a creature of the night. Still dressed delicately in his white robes, he was marked by elongated, bat-like wings and long, threatening horns on his head. My blood ran cold; Ichigo had no idea what was in store for him.

* * *

><p>After countless minutes that felt like hours, Ichigo's hollow mask slowly began to break away from his face from being tortured by the deathly blows of Ulquiorra's sword. As I began to think it couldn't possibly get any worse, Ichigo made the most crucial of mistakes: he sent his most powerful Getsuga toward Ulquiorra, who just sent it flying right back at double the power. Ichigo's body was sent spiraling to the ground like a used up ragdoll as Ulquiorra just taunted him from above. Every now and then we would lock eyes, and I knew in his heart he didn't want to do this. He knew it would destroy me. But he had no choice; he was sworn to Aizen far before he was sworn to me. I just prayed the day would come where I could destroy that bond…and not him.<p>

"Hollows and humans will never stand as equals." He finished saying to Ichigo as he lay on the floor, panting.

To my disbelief, Ichigo had gotten back on his feet and attempted to send a final Getsuga Tenshou in Ulquiorra's direction; I couldn't help but cheer out his name in astonishment and hope. Though, I didn't hope it would hit Ulquiorra…gah! I didn't know _what _I hoped anymore! Just as hope of Ichigo's possible victory began to dance through my mind, I felt a fear greater than any I've ever experienced in my life.

"Let me show you the true form of despair." Ulquiorra stated. My world turned upside down as I saw the demon standing where my fiancée had been not even one minute ago. "I am the only Espada to reach the second form of release. Not even Aizen-sama has seen it yet."

I looked on in terror. What was this incredible power? Why had I not known of this earlier? He turned his attention to me and I could see the pain in his eyes at the expression on my face. It was a mix between terror and pure anguish for the fate I knew my dear friend Ichigo was soon to meet.

Even after seeing this new form Ulquiorra had taken on, Ichigo still raised his sword willing to fight and protect those he truly cared about. The resolve behind this action sent a wave of emotion throughout my body like no other and I was sent to my knees. Looking up at the scene above me through my hair allowed me to let out a holler of pain—an enormous hole had been blown through Ichigo's torso. As Ulquiorra cast his body down to the earth, I could see my sister running desperately trying to intercept him before he hit the earth. After hearing a heart-shattering **THUD** I knew she was too slow and could not catch him.

Before that day, I had never heard a cry of anguish so purely full of sorrow. Never had I thought so much pain would come from one person. That person was my sister. I was sent into a blood-boiling fury as I dove to the ground by her side. She and Orihime lay over his form trying their very best to work together in order to save whatever form of life he had left. But the reality had sunk in within my soul before either of theirs. There was no hope. There was no future.

Ichigo Kurosaki was dead.


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: There is some OOC for a certain character (can't say who, it'll spoil it!) so don't mind it, it bothered me too but it had to be done. I hope you've all enjoyed my lovely story up to this point and cried as much as I did while I wrote it because boy did I sob like a baby! Thanks to everyone who's stuck with me all the way through from putting it on Quizilla to finally bringing it here. Hope ya'll enjoyed! Keep posted for the Epilogue, there's still a bit more to come :)**

* * *

><p>As the horrible fact began to set into both of their minds, Theresa Thompson and Orihime Inoue cried their hearts out. I got to my feet and threw Ishida off his ass so he could continue stalling. He was badly wounded, but they were wounds I could easily tend to later. I heard Theresa whispering in Ichigo's ear behind me,<p>

"Ichigo you need to come back to us! What do we do? What do we do? We need you!" she cried out. Ulquiorra suddenly appeared before me and stroked the tear, which had fallen from my eye not seconds before, off of my face. Ishida came up behind him and was once again sent sprawling across the ground.

"Ichigo please wake up! I've never loved someone the way I love you!" Theresa called out. Ishida landed right next to her and showed no signs of being conscious—she covered her ears and focused back on Ichigo. "**SAVE US, ICHIGO!"**

What happened next…was unreal.

A low roar was let loose from behind me—as I whirled around I snatched Theresa-san and Orihime out of the way of the mega blast that was sent spiraling toward us. When the dust cloud cleared I did not see Ichigo Kurosaki. I did not see a human, an Espada, and Shinigami…I saw twice the monster Ulquiorra had become. I was afraid.

"I…Ichigo?" I barely even whispered. Another roar was my response and it sent Orihime cowering back in fear. Like magic, Ichigo's Zanpakutou was sent flying right into the palm of his hand, ready for combat. After the futile attempt of communicating with this monster, Ulquiorra was about to attack once more when Ichigo bent forward and shot the most powerful cero I'd ever seen from between his newly sprouted horns.

My voice was caught in my throat, I couldn't even scream as Ichigo severed Ulquiorra's left arm. I was in too deep of shock. My heart began to beat at a normal rate again when I saw his arm regenerate like nothing had ever happened—he still had a chance! My rejoicing was cut short as Ichigo stopped one of Ulquiorra's lightning rod attacks with just his bare hand. I felt my blood run cold, I sensed the end was slowly nearing.

This time I could not hold back the scream as Ichigo's weapon slowly cut right through Ulquiorra's body, chopping off one of his horns in the meantime. Ulquiorra was sent spiraling down to the ground in a bloody heap and I felt every organ within my body stop functioning. I never wanted to die more in my life, and I had already done it twice.

The Ichigo I knew would have seen his victory and would have left him there to regenerate or die on his own. This was not the Ichigo I knew.

"Do it." Ulquiorra had said to him. This new-born Ichigo took this as a challenge and released the largest cero I had ever seen not more than a foot from Ulquiorra's head. Right before the blast, he turned his head to me and we locked eyes once more. This time there was no sign of pain in his face…there was only regret. There was only love.

My face turned pale white and tears streamed down my face as I watched this monster mangle the corpse of the one I had loved so much. Why was this happening? Why had everyone I loved been tortured and killed? Ichigo had now been responsible for the deaths of a blood relative and my husband-to-be. I wanted to be angry with him. I wanted to hate him…but I couldn't. I hated this creature standing in front of me, but not the man inside. And I knew I never could.

Ishida ran up behind this monster and attempted to coax the Ichigo we all knew to return to us, but instead of being met by kind eyes he was met by the blade of Ichigo's sword. We all cried out in terror, and I caught Ishida's now bleeding form in my arms as he slowly slipped out of consciousness once again. Ichigo was now towering over me and I was too mortified to even move, let alone defend myself. I closed my eyes and waited for the impact but when it didn't come, the sight that met my eyes left me dazed.

Ulquiorra's half of a torso had sprung into action and stopped Ichigo's sword from connecting with my skull. Even on the very last brink of death, he still tried to protect me. To my relief, he didn't look so mangled because of his limb regeneration, but from the looks of him I knew he wasn't going to last much longer.

Ichigo had been coaxed out of his hollow state and was now attempting to fairly finish off the fight between him and Ulquiorra and even offered reconciliation for his monstrous behavior.

"Kill me." Ulquiorra said. As the words left his lips, I met them with my own. He was taken aback at first, but once he realized it was me and what my point was he gladly returned what we thought would be our final kiss. We pulled apart and I finally let the tears flow freely.

"No." Ichigo said behind us. We whirled around to be met with Ichigo's eyes leaking tears. "You expect me to win like this? How can I rob you of your last minutes? How can I rob her of your last minutes?" he gestured toward me, "I won't do it." He finished. Ulquiorra glared and returned his attention back to me. I saw pieces of dust fly past my eyes and thought nothing of them until I realized they were parts of Ulquiorra shriveling in the air!

"No! You can't leave me like this! Not now, not after everything we've been through! Don't leave me alone in this fucked up place. I love you. I will always love you. Nothing can change that, please…just please don't go!" I screamed out. I sobbed my heart out onto what remained of his chest as he wrapped his arms around me. Though he was still in his monstrous form, this tender side made him appear more beautiful to me than ever before.

"You are never alone. You never have been. Though your nature and heart confused me beyond anything I'd ever dreamed you've brought me to one conclusion…I truly do, in the fondest way…love you." Ulquiorra said. His lifted my chin with what little strength he had left and planted one last sweet, soft kiss on my lips. As the first of many, many tears continued to fall down my cheeks, I felt the last pieces of the one I loved literally blow right from my hands and get carried off into the night sky.

* * *

><p>I stood there alone in the night in the same position I had been in as Ulquiorra's remains flew from my hands. No one had approached me or said a word, they were too afraid to flick some wrong switch inside of me. I knew all of them were crying and suffering with me behind my back, but I did not have the energy to turn around and speak. I did not have the energy to think. I did not have the energy…to live.<p>

I knew Starrk and Halibel were still alive. They needed to be killed. Everything was different; the side of purity had been victorious. I knew Ichigo would succeed. I gathered up all of my energy and turned around to face the group.

"There are still two Edpada out there who need to be vanquished. One, Theresa had previously met in an unfortunate encounter. She learned I was engaged, then." I paused and took a deep breath, "One is male and one is female. And…for my sake…go easy on the female. She was one of the only people I could count on here. Maybe even try to convince her to join our side, though I know it will be futile. The male…do what you wish to—" I was cut off by the stabbing of a blade through my chest.

I gasped as I was slowly lifted into the air and then dropped to the ground, the blade mercilessly slicing through my body on the way down. I could see that a part of me was severed from the rest, but all I could feel was agony. I felt the blood creep down my mouth as I gasped for air. I lifted my eyes to the face of my attacker and potential murderer; I was not surprised by who I saw. Aizen. He had killed me once before and now he's done it again. His smirk above me left me powerless.

"It's truly a shame about Ulquiorra. But I knew once he was killed you would definitely turn against us, Espada or not. I came to finish what I started back in the Seiretei." He said. Before anyone could react, he was gone. My vision began to cloud and I coughed up a bit of the blood that remained in my body.

"No, Ichigo! Let him go for now, we have more pressing matters to attend to at the moment!" I heard Ishida say.

"NO! NOT AGAIN! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME AGAIN!" I heard Theresa-san scream over me. At least Ichigo had lived—they would live a happy life together. I felt her and Orihime combining their power once more in a desperate attempt to save me. But in reality…I didn't want to be saved again. My part had been played and my work here was done. I knew Ichigo would be victorious in keeping the peace in the world, one way or another. I would have said goodbye if I had the energy in me to speak and wasn't bleeding out all over the ground, but I know in my heart they all know what I would have said.

I took in the sight of all of my dearest friend's faces and the light of world one last time. As my eyes slowly began to close, his face appeared on the inside of my eyelids, smiling. He never smiled.

_Ulquiorra, I'm coming. _

* * *

><p>Theresa Thompson, Ichigo Kurosaki, Uryu Ishida, and Orihime Inoue all crowded around Skyler Lester's now seemingly lifeless body.<p>

"We can save her, I know we can!" Theresa called out desperately. Ichigo put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into a tight embrace and allowed her to cry on his shoulder and finally let out all the pent up shock and emotion release itself. Afterall, she thought she had lost the boy she loved and now she actually may have lost her little sister.

"How does it look, Inoue?" Ishida asked. He was doing a decent job of keeping himself calm, but knew eventually he would crack. He had been in love with Skyler since before the idea of all these powers was even a factor…now he wished he had finally told her.

"It's not looking very promising, Uryu." She said. Her tone was solemn, but after all she had seen today, she was too exhausted to show much anguish for the time being. Skyler was a dear friend to her and grieving for her would take place when the time was right.

"She's bounced back a million times before! We just need to get her to open her eyes!" Theresa-san shouted desperately. At this point Orihime had stopped the mending process and just stared down at Skyler's lifeless figure. She reluctantly met Theresa's eyes and exhaled slowly.

"I don't think she'll be opening her eyes again this time."


	29. EPILOGUE

**EPILOGUE**

_What is it? Will I find it if I rip your chest apart? Will I find it if I crack open your skull? You humans speak that word so easily. It's as if…yes…I see…it's as if this thing in my hand…is the heart?_

* * *

><p>I gasped as I opened my eyes. How could I possibly have survived this time? How many hands was I going to be dealt? I looked down at my body and realized I was in one piece and completely healthy. It was then that I took in my surroundings. I was surrounded by white. Everything was white for as far as the eye could see, it was almost smoky.<p>

_Where am I? Why am I here?_

Before I could move I felt a hand grip onto my shoulder tightly. I didn't flinch; it was almost as if I expected it. I glanced down at it from the corner of my eye. Pasty white. _It's you._

I turned around and grabbed his hand. It was then that I understood where I was and where I was headed. We walked through the smoky white arena, hand in hand, until we came to a light. I smiled to myself and then up at him—my smile was returned. We stepped through the lightened gate and onto the next part of our journey. The best part about it was not peace or eternal salvation…but that…

_We would be together…always._


End file.
